Di sudut Kamar Hatiku

Di Sudut Kamar Hatiku - Jamal Abdillah




resah hatiku merinduimu
terbayang bayang anggun senyum dan tawa mu
baru semalam rasanya bagai setahun
pemergian mu tak tertanggung

indah suasana kita kita bersama
siang dan malam seolah didalam syurga
cintamu itu cinta yang setulus jiwa
di mana ku cari gantinya...

telah ku lupa detik hitam selamanya
yang menodai cinta kita
tidak terdaya menahan takdirnya
engkau abadi didalam jaga

c/o
sepi dunia didalam riuh rendahnya
pedih jiwaku tanggung derita
patah hati ku
kesalan tiada terhingga
kau satu dalam berjuta

kepada tuhan tempat ku taruh harapan
engkau selamanya dalam bahagia
cintamu itu biarku kenanginya
di sudut kamar hatiku........

m3 turns 9...

Last Saturday was my m3' s birthday....who is m3?..As all of my broods' names begin with M so we..long ago..shall assign each member with their corresponding numbering..and thus Miss M3 is the third daughter of ours and she is Maisarah...born 21/2/2000...a strong pieces by zodiac...in dragon year of chinese calendar...


She woke up quite early that morning forgetting that it was her birthday...got bathe and came to my room....:

M3 : " Mama, Sarah dah mandi..boleh mama buatkan nestum...perut Sarah lapar la..."

Mama : " Happy Bday Sarah..wah!..Bagus lah hari ni..Sarah bangun awal dan dah mandi pun..." normally..she wd spend hours of her saturday morning in front of the pc...

M3: " Huh! Bday Sarah!"...Mama tak de ape2 ke untuk Sarah?"

And just when I wanted to open my mouth she already ran to her ayah:

M3 : "Ayah, jom kita jalan2 dan beli kek..dan..errr...permainan.."

Ayah: : " Huh!..jln2 boleh..beli permainan tak boleh! Sebab Sarah dah besar....." said ayah followed by a kiss on her forehead and hugs...

So off we went spending the day eating out and bought her cake.( which is not so bad...and half still in the freezer...tak berapa manis pulak...entah kenapa..so mama tak tau berapa lama lebihan kek itu akan berada dlm peti ais..kalau m1 dan m2 ade..sudah tentu dah habis licin...and Maryam pun being the sweet tooth pun kata kek Sarah ..rasanya..boleh la...)..and ayah had bought her, her lonng wish of a scooter......she loves it very much..even though masa kat counter nak bayar...she secretly whispered to mama that she also like to have a new barbie doll....(.but ayah kata tak payah....again and again!)...hihi!..muka 10sen lepas tu...

As she grow older...I can see she has starting to grow and have few beautiful personality...helpful is one thing about her so far...study wise, she is the one who constantly need extra coaching...overall I am just so blessed!..oo..yes...she is one with a strong physical too...a bit lasak laa...( She has pleaded to ayah to join tae-kwon-do but ayah kata tunggu next year lah..)one who is also very sentimental....and kalu visitors datang dan nak balik..dia pulak yg cepat nak nangis...she is affectionate..still nak manja2 ngan ayah...

Okay Maisarah..u might not understand all the meanings above but as of now..just belief that mama and ayah love u so much...as usual..all the prayers in the world from all of us.....Kenang Daku Dalam Mu....Be anak Solehah.., Insya'allah...

p/s:...She had quite a rough day on Sunday learning Maths with ayah..and she secretly told me...never ever want to ask ayah again.....shian dia...

Maksud yang sama??

Semalam malam Maisarah tanya pada mama tentang maksud beberapa perumpamaan Bahasa Melayu, antaranya yang buat mama agak keliru sket.....

1) Tak dapat rotan akar pun berguna

2) Dah dapat gading bertuah, tanduk tidak berguna lagi...

Yang pertama tu mama kata sudah tentulah kalu kita hendakan satu barang tapi setelah penat dicari dapat jugak barang lain yang hampir serupa dengan yang dihajatkan tadi:
Contoh ayat:
Sarah tidak perlu membeli buku log baru untuk Persatuan Puteri Islam kerana dia masih boleh menggunakan buku log kepunyaan kakaknya yang masih banyak lagi ruang muka surat yang kosong.


Yang kedua tu ibarat seseorang memperoleh satu benda yang kini lebih baik nilainya dari yang terdahulu:-
Contoh ayat:
Apabila ayah menghadiahkan basikal yang baru kepada Sarah, beliau tidak lagi memerlukan basikal yang dahulu yang sudahpun kecil untuknya.

Tapi selepas tu sebelum menutup mata, mama teringat kedua-dua peribahasa di atas kalu diteliti atau di amati betul-betul. Iaitu kedua-duanya menggunakan 2 objek, yang baru dan lama samada yang kurang elok atau lebih elok...

Hi..entahlah....fikiran mama pun melayang.....macam-macam...hendak ditulis di sini nanti karang panjang berjela pulak rajuk mama pada ayah...

Merajuk pada yang sayang...tapi kalu dah tua-tua macam ni..merajuk pun orang dah tak perasan dah..atau mungkin sudah selalu sangat merajuk...orang dah tak terlayan...

Sesungguhnya rezeki , ajal, maut dan segalanya adalah ketentuan Ilahi..bersyukur...bersyukur....life is much more than just thinking about one's own feelings....problem must be countered with a solution.... and the other person is worth more than you might ever think of...komunikasi biar jelas..biar jelas...biar jelas..

Dan seperti biasa..kalu rase macam tak best aje..mama akan buka radio...untuk tenang2kan diri..tetiba keluar lak lagu kegemaran mama ni:-

Mengapa dirindu - Uji Rashid

Anak punai anak merbah
Terbang turun buat sarang
Anak sungai pun berubah
Ini pula hati orang
Mengapa dikenang

Asal kapas jadi benang
Dari benang dibuat baju
Barang lepas jangan kenang
Sudah jadi orang baru
Mengapa dirindu

Kasih yang dulu tinggal dalam mimpi
Kasih yang baru simpan di hati
Kasih yang dulu tinggal dalam mimpi
Kasih yang baru simpan di hati

Selat teduh lautan tenang
Banyak labuh perahu Aceh
Jangan kesal jangan kenang
Walau hati rasa pedih
Mengapa bersedih

Kalau pinang masih muda
Rasanya kelat sudahlah pasti
Kalau hilang kasih lama
Cari lain untuk ganti
Mengapa dinanti

Patah 'kan tumbuh hilang berganti
Akan sembuh kalau diubati
Patah 'kan tumbuh hilang berganti
Akan sembuh kalau diubati

Sayang mengapa dirindu

An excerpt of an article from the star...and the likes..of my newborn son..

ir

The 3-D scan (left) was taken in Aug'2008...then, none of us wd have imagine the exact look of him...It was the first sight of him . My first thought was how thankful I was that God shower me with such kindness to answer my heart desire without even asking Him to do it! It was an awesome moment.

However, then I found myself bombarded with fear! Fear of miscarriage, fear of people's judgments, fear of taking care of baby when Maryam is a darling big girl already, fear of disability that might be much more than Down Syndrome. It was a horrible hour of discovery!

Since that time I have been focusing on what Allah says is true ~ that children are a gift and blessing. I'm feeling loved by Him in such extravagant way ~ it's indescribable.



but now..look at his latest photo......

Remembering back those last few minutes before the delivery, he had shown signs of stress inside my womb with his heart beat shooting up..and I was just 7cm dilated....Gosh..Alhamdulillah Allah had made it easy for me, for him and for the doctor and her team as she helped me going thru that delivery process.....Out he popped out....and ayah was made to cut his umbilical cord....painful..painful...Allahu Akbar...

Just look at him..I am so speechless....

What say you...?...everybody in the house would not mind carrying him around....especially my two younger girls, Maisarah and Maryam....and at times, I just let both of them playing with the baby..(at least for me to have a cuppa milo or very short nap)..they surely have all the energy in the world to play with their lil' brother...and the eldest sisters just can't wait for the next school holidays to cuddle, kiss and do nothing but just sit beside him....watch him..waiting for his next smile...



The sisters adore him ( a little too much) and it is a delight to see them interact. I just can't imagine Md Mikhael being who he is without the sisters and vice versa.


And I can't imagine myself without any of them.

In fact, I can't imagine any one of our family without all the others. It's a complex system of relationships, but each individual is a vital part of what Allah intended to help each other one grow..

And Maisarah now think taking care of babies is not as easy as playing her pc-nanny games..and since the eldest sisters are not around, she normally become my great assistant..only not to 'dukung' the baby long enough...musscle tangan tak cukup kuat..thx sayang...









And mama rituals after solat had to be shortened too nowdays..ambil yg wajib saje.....just to accommodate the crying baby...and where kusyuk is concerned..Allah saje yang tahu...O Lord...forgive me!!..

The same goes to Maryam too..She especially would immitate all the rhyme songs I sang..just to make sure the baby always calm...at times feel frustrated if baby just wont stop crying after all her effort..shian Iyam...do not give up darling..mama count on u too!

well....it really helps to have somebody assist u with the baby ...so u wont get stressed out all day long...but come to think of it...how do our others manage?..especially my late mum when my late dad was always off-shore....O..dear Lord...grant me w your greatest strentgh please!..Ameen...

***************************************************

At a recent 'bi-monthly tazkirah/bacaan yassin' session at my house community, I was approached by a neighbour...:

"Ape khabar Maz?..Baby sihat?...Sibukkan ngan baby kecik..kesian Maz...."..( oooo...that was so a 'caring' question..)...Mana babynya?

I would love to spend the whole evening telling her all my happiness and also woes..like I normally did to my late parents!!( I mean the 'lack-of-energy' side of me)...but had to just reply with smile that baby is taken care by ayah left with my expressed milk...Time and time again I have to remind myself not to 'overdo' the complain..It was because at a recent relatives gathering, when I accidentally mentioned about my 'hardship', the other person gave this comment:

"U should be lucky lah..can't complain more...we are married for nearly ten years and still waiting...".. ooo...I see... I again being the sensitive or that person meant something else....waaa....I had become very sensitive maaa....Being a cancerian..there goes my sensitivity!

And at another gathering, I grumbled a little about my busy husband..but was encountered with this comment :

"Well actually..u should be grateful..U still have a husband..many out there are searching high and low for a husband...."....waaa...not sympathetic enough !!I gulped!!like I was chocked of Cola!

I cannot complain meh!..then how to improve???

********************************************

Time and again I do have to let ayah take care of my baby.

The truth is...at some place..it is just inconvenient to bring him along especially when for the past several days, he has been acting according to his 'mood'..and I just don't want that extra focus during the 'bacaan yassin' session if he yells or something like that...

*******************************************

And talk about having baby at forty..I do miss having meal out..(not that we always eat out lah...)..but nowdays If it was not becoz i was so determine to skip cooking then I really have to equip myself with all the patience attending to this little boy while everybody is busy helping themselves with the food ordered....I am so jealous of u ayah..and If I merajuk pun..u never will perasan...

Funny..that the baby also wd demand for his 'feed' whenever we were outside..so there I was...quietly at one corner...under my hijab..I wd let my baby has his own share of his lunch/dinner...but in the public..I just cdn't comprehend of the 'busybodyness' of some people....so rude that I sometimes feel like shouting to that person:

"Eh Mr/Mdm..can u not look please!"....am i asking too much....??? ayooo...

Well some Malaysians just like to stare.....

And I feel amused by the below excerpt from the star..a famous columnist..like some of her writings..resembles what I feel..what I experience..(except for that swimsuit and over use of pamela Anderson 'thing'...oopss..sorry...).:-

*******************

"MISSION IMPOSSIBLE

(BUT THEN AGAIN WITH MARY SCHNEIDER)

The American woman who recently gave birth to octuplets intends to breastfeed them all. Good luck with that.

I JUST read about the American woman who recently gave birth to octuplets – six boys and two girls. Her doctor had told her she was expecting seven babies, so when baby number eight made an appearance, he was surprised.

“It’s quite easy to miss a baby when you’re anticipating seven,” he said by way of explanation.

Although the doctor’s statement made me wonder about the quality of the medical care this new mother had been receiving, I was more taken aback by her intention to breastfeed all her babies. With only two breasts and eight babies, I’m not sure if this is possible.

If any of her babies are like my firstborn (he was the kind of baby who nursed for 45 minutes at a time, with 20 minute breaks between feedings, all day long, and several times a night), there won’t be enough time in a day to breastfeed eight babies. Of course, she could breastfeed all of them just once a day. Or spend her days doing nothing but eating, drinking and expressing two gallons of milk with the aid of a breast pump. But then, she might not like the idea of spending all her waking hours bonding with a small electrical appliance.

Since the new mother will probably be housebound for the next three years, (I can’t see her taking her babies to the mall for a little shopping trip any time soon, or popping into her favourite restaurant for a light lunch with her brood in tow) she will be spared the stigma attached to public breast-feeding.

Some people are uncomfortable at the sight of a baby being breast-fed. They will whisper overtly to their companions and then assume the same sort of look of disgust that is normally reserved for someone who’s just taken all her clothes off and doing a pole dance in the middle of a funeral service.

Then, there are the overly curious people who ogle you in the hope that they will get a glimpse of your breast. I once attempted to nurse my son in a five-star hotel. Although I was sitting at a table in a quiet corner of the restaurant, and I’d covered myself and my son with a large shawl, I could feel the hot stares of some of the other diners boring into me.

One man even got up from his table and wandered over in my direction while pretending to talk to someone on his handphone. I know so, because as he was looking at me out of the corner of his eye, the handphone that he was talking into began to ring.

Still, despite the difficulties associated with breastfeeding in public, I tried not to curtail my social life too much while I was nursing my son.

When my son was three months old, my then husband even took us to Pulau Pangkor for holiday. On the drive to Lumut, all I did was nurse my son. On the ferry across to the island, all I did was nurse my son, and once in the hotel, all I did was nurse my son. When I look at the photos of that trip, all my memories are centred on breastfeeding.

I have a photo of me standing on the beach, in a swimsuit with a plunging neckline, the rising sun peeking over my shoulder and my son sleeping in his stroller next to me. My breasts were huge: two swollen melons squeezed into a piece of lycra. I looked like a sleep-deprived, red-haired, slightly shorter version of Pamela Anderson.

Well, okay, maybe not Pamela Anderson. It’s amazing what lack of sleep will do to your sense of perception.

That particular day, after my son had had his first morning feed beneath a shady tree near the hotel’s swimming pool, I placed him over my shoulder to burp him. He duly obliged, in a loud undignified manner, then fell asleep almost immediately.

It wasn’t until I returned to my room two hours later, after doing my Pamela Anderson impersonation as I sashayed around the swimming pool, that I caught sight of a long streak of milky vomit on the rear of my swimsuit.

After eight months of breastfeeding, I stopped – only to begin again 13 months later when my daughter popped into the world with a loud lusty cry.

I wish the mother of the octuplets good luck with her quest.

P/S: AND i WISH THE NEW MOTHER GOOD LUCK TOO!!

***************

True , one cannot imagine exactly how chaotic it will be if the baby cry demanding for milk..demanding to be soothed.....change diapers....etc..unless..one experience it....I feel so 'ronyok' at times...

I had once thinking of opening a childcare centre after quiting my 9 to 5 job...but hey baby...I am not patient la....

Even my daughters could sense my 'tense' if the baby won't stop crying...and especially to ayah...whose my many glare and gestures..enough to make him understand my turmoil of emotions and wd come to the rescue best ..(ni pun if he is around lah!!)..and if he had to stay back at his office..Allah saje yang tahu..)..yeap....If only the scientist could invent some kind of tube so that my milk could be easily transfered to the baby without me having to wake up in the wee hours of the morning..I am so deprived of sleep..

Nowdays...my priority is the baby....and I seldom now answer the phone...I normally wd put my phone on silent mode whenever the baby is sleeping.....as a result..many people complain..why I don't pick up the phone..only my hubby understand my 'moodiness'... The baby is easily disturbed..like a needle fall on the floor or biting biscuit also he can hear one..aduhai...and at times it is just a painstaking job to put him to sleep agian...I am exhausted! We certainly have to follow his schedule..Once evening I had a visitor and as a result I delayed his bathing and sleeping..so he got merajuk....so angry sebab dikejutkan.(ye lah..visitor datang nak tengok dia!..)...and I took almost one hour...from cuddle to the buai..to the bed...bobok-bobok..back to the buai again...oh my...

Not only do I have to endure with all the physical change of my body..the extra tyre...the back ache....but emotional as well...oh yes....'kegel exercise' has suddenly been my interest...ayoo again!..also..can somebody invent a pacifier that feel and taste exactly like the real one....I think mine has become exhausted too from excessive 'friction'...and I sweat a lot too...sorry dear...the electricity bill has to put up with my need of the air cond!!..Hormone..hormone...and ayah can I have my hair cut this weekend???what about kasi kerinting ???just to spice up my life....and more of ferrero roche choccolate please....

I just bought this cream...kunun...determine to get rid of that bloatedness....well...sapu kat perut..etc.

And the jamu for the 'rahim'....

these two products enough to make me perspire like those jogathon runners...

And I am yet to do any work outs just to get rid off all those baby fat....alamak!!








Thus I do have to hold on to this patience...because he is just heaven..and until next post....until I am more relaxed and calm...(hoping and praying that I dont fall into the category of those experiencing post parturm depression...eeeuuwww so scary oneee..nauzubillah!!.) ......wishing all my blogger friends...productive week ahead...

p/s: I am off fb too.....can't spend so much time on other things...( I got addicted to fb and tend to become grumpy if baby is crying..and this is not nice, isn't it....well talk about priority beb!..)

and to Munirah and Masturah if u happened to peep thru this blog at ur school..this is definitely one of my favourite singer..the best ever Uji Rashid and song for the mothers..I miss my late mum....Alfatihah...no wonder as I quote our prophet Muhd (pbuh)..that mothers should be valued and cared off 3 times more than the father....bless you all mothers out there...tata!

and oo yes..to kak long and kak ngah..yesterday as mama went back from fetching maisarah as usual ( her koko day)...i came across many students wearing you all punya school uniform...and..wa....mama miss u all so bad...and prayed..one of these days..either of yu two please ring me...

My first ever grand tf85reunion

Hi you all...

It has been almost a week now since that grand tf85 reunion...and I was hoping before in my previous post to write about more in detail..(...nanti lama sangat...basi lak cerita ni...)..and as u read this, there is a background song - Suratan atau Kebetulan by Kenny , Remmy Dan Martin..( amongst malay song compiled by Leha..)..love the song..

( a 53% turned up, i.e 60 of 114.....farthest right is me....thx to the team of organizer....)



So..as I went into the dewan..shake-shake hands..kiss kiss cheeks..and there at the registration table was grreted by Linn ali, Liz..busy with the doorgift la..name tag la..not forgeting payment lah of coz..Then I saw my long last friend:

"Eh...(I paused...)Yan kan....?"...and she smiled ( macam nak suruh aku teka lagi...) and as if there was no other proper question..I asked again:

"Berapa orang askar?"..and she jokingly replied.."Tak de.."...huh?...so Yan being Yan..that sense of humor still exist...kita macam same je lah Yan..sudah rabun dekat..cuma you je yang bawak ur glasses ke hulu ke hilir..

Then Leha came and asked : " Eta, dah habis pantang ke?..anak tak bawak?..I bawak my boy..."...alamak Leha..aku baru nak menghilangkan rasa bersalah..and yes..your boy sungguh baik...suci je..muka dia....geramm..rase nak peluk gigit..

Headed on..I was n't sure where to sit...each and everybody was busy hugging each other..all the laughter..fulfilled the hall....and I saw ( my other long last classmate )Pis, Ogy, Anis..and Awe..( wah..ko begitu solehah sekali..sambil bawak escort lagi!)

So I sat with Honey ( ex-dormate), Netty, yan, Idah E...later joined by Hye..and Nan Aini...
( wah...as described by my other blogger friends.etc, mrsnordin anggun cam Mak Datin..)..A little while came in Shana
in red ( who had called me the night before about the dress etc...) with Abid and E-boo as well...wah depa-depa nih memang selalu konvoi...and looking elegant as well....(terdetik hati ku..karang ade gak salah sorang if not all yg akan di undi best dress...hihi!..masin agaknya mulut aku..)..and I saw mc zae too...and the rest all...

And Thnx Ieja..untuk ole-ole itu semua..comel-comel belaka...aku terharu....more to come kah?...ahaks!..( and my Klong kata...ini dr Auntie yg rumah dia kita pi tu hari ye..mama....yg dlm tandas pun ade plastik tempat dia kerja...hihi!!see..my daughter pun jenis observe...and yeepiiee..next raya..blue theme yeay!!)

On the table itself, ade small cup cakes must be from eyerin which are so delicious...and thx Yan for giving me your share..entah kenapa semenjak dua menjak habis pantang i so love all sweet things..To my right..I saw Anne, Zaza..sitting along with Neng, Wan and Mahinar....( yang juga kelihatan ibu solehah..mithali sungguh....)

Opened with doa recitation was by Pn Roslaila Puspa..(amboi Alang..tak kisahle tu...ustazah avon rock yang sememangnya anggun...)

And the show began with Along ( I first thought...nanti nak request Along nyanyilah...but later on terlupa..) and Dada..quite a times before welcome speech..try to calm the girls..."Hello Girls..can we start now....hello....hello!"..."Kita ade banyak event nih oiii"...so Mdm Chairman pun berucap...all the yesteryears..together with her belongings which she still kept..like the school apron and some badges...( amboi..Dada..ko masih simpan all those things...).

All the prefects later were called upon to sing the schools song...( and berbaris lah para pengawas....dengan pelbagai warna dan gaya...)..and I neer know ade lagu sekolah English version!!

Came the slide show after that..and everybody rushed to the front....well...aging la beb..can't see from far...and we laughed and laughed over all those old pictures..bravo to GYlle... messages came from kmar and Farid yang jauh di perantauan...


The next was..eat and eat..( Tuti was invited to read doa makan tapi dia tak mau...segan kah..pas ti siapa baca ek...arrr there goes my memory again...) and talk...and came the lucky draw..(hihi..tak sia-sia..dpt gak satu hadiah.)...but first have to answer few question and mine was...what is full description of LDDS?..huh?..I was blank at first..and looking at the audience for clues..I just read few lips...nasib baik..nasib baik..thx shana..(rasenyelah..sebab u yg depan meja tuh...the rest I tak perasan..hihi..rabun jauh gak!!!..dan termasuk malu dan nervous depan kengkawan semuaa...stage fright! eh!!macam kelakar je aku jalan..bila Dada panggil)



There were games like:
1) matching and compiling pieces of photo...(at the back written smjm la, toing la..bejot la..)..
2)sms games...which I surrender la huh...patik ni dah rabun dekat ..tak pe lah..sorry organiser...bukan tak sport..but I know somehow org lain lebih layak..( I think the minute Dada annouce - u may start -//after a ..blink I saw Ogy...uiisshh..cepatnya..and true Ogy won the prize..)

SOme other prizes were best dress for each house...for these each table was given a form..and we were supposed to vote others not from the same table we were sitting...dan mereka-merak yang anggun telah memenangi hadiah..( Abid- merah, Bj-hijau, Nan aini- merah dan Ieja-biru..) siap di suruh cat walk lagi with of coz background music...

Also prize for lucky chair..and Netty walked away with it..( aku yang perut agak kembung nih..mengah gak nak membelek-nelek bawah kerusi...siapa la punya idea ni..)

Also...if anybody found pebble inside one the doorgift given..huh?..pebble ape tu Pis...?..WOi..Batu jalan le beb.....and if not mistaken gee dpt..wah seronok..jauh2 dtg berbaloi..

and few other game including guessing which act belongs to a teacher..I guess I didn't focus..sapa menang eh?

While eating we chit chat, shared stories of our everyday life, about kids, about old teachers...hihi gossip!...and " Eh Yan...look at hye..cute..even the socks matched with the sandals...'"..we giggled...and Hye,,kita gurau je lah...and did mention to hye about my 'forgetfulness''..for being me now..and Hye said that was why she chose teaching line..the mind exercise a looottt..and thus Hye...excuse me for looking at your socks..I had once involved with all those numbers crunching job..date line everything..never thought my observation was based on one of the so used nature of my past job..to scrutinize..to be diligent...to be thorough..or it is just me being a full time mother..power of observation must tip top!

Then each was given rose..with background music..sekuntum mawah merah....waduh sayhdu...ye lah..sejak tua-tua ni...jarang benor nak dpt bunga...and actually I dont mind though i f my hubby forget about flowers..I prefer dining at 'good food' restaurant lah!!!..( waaa..that's remind me..he had not belanja me makan juicy steak sejak mengidam kelmarin..ayooo..yang...bila nak belanja nih...)

And we distributed each with 2 cds..malay and english song...all yesteryears fav song...compiled by Leha..later i learnt..some got one..some got two..and some forgot about it...and while i am writing this..I believe Leha is still burning few more cd..for those requested..including Leelany, Kmar..etc..( those who cdn't come..go on being jealous...hihi!))...and I wonder what was the story behind the stickers as related by Leha/Dada about Sal being talian hayat...

Everybody was busy catching with each other..and truly I do feel regret..cdn't have longer time to minggle more...and missed all the opportunities to take photos...( tak dak camera la beb!)..and thus this posting is rather dry of own photos collection..hihi!

Prizes were also given to :-
1) most maintained figure - gylle lah..
2)most children - Mahinar.(7 kids..ooo)
3)first pay master - Faridah Ejam
4)Furthest to come - Gee...(kot!..)
5)First to Mecca - Pis ( was Reha but she tak dtg..jadi the next earliest..)
.etc...etc..tak ingat ade lagi kah??.

Then came the photo session..class photo, house photo, origin photo..and including the 'free hair' also...hihi...ade -ade je lah korang ni...sapa yg tiba-tiba teringat cam tu..anyway...jauh dari sudut hati ku..aku sentiasa mendoakan sahabat-sahabat kalian...amin..


( AMong the 5 Soc scie girls who came - Back row ( L to R) : Oya, Netty, Hye, Awe,Ogy, Anne, Pis and Front row : Jue, Yan, Zaza, me, Anis) - photo courtesy of Dada if I'm not mistaken..


The cutting cake ceremony, together with cake for Weeda..(member punya bday le hari tu..)..was I think the last event..later we saw..few starting making calls..or answering calls....well..time to depart..few were seen hugging bye-bye and had to rush back early....and I was greeted by Abid :" Eh..balik naik ape...?"...

."..emm..tengah tunggu che abang....". Isaid..

"WAh..sungguh manja..kitorang ni sungguh berdikari...tidak dimanjakan langsung..."..Abid smiled back..well..blessed in whatever circumstances lah dear abid oii..u..me..lagi pulak..I ni pun tidak hafal semua jln2 kat klang valley ni takut sesat barat...

And..my..oo.my......not forgetting , there are those heading to another venue..for extra curriculum activities...hehe....bestnye..kamu-kamu....( at this point of time..I was so engorged....ooppss..sorry!!)

Few were seen gathered at the back of the hall...membeli barangan buatan Eyerin..bestnye....

Pis also was seen carrying around donation box..for the palestinians..alahai Pis..kita lom ghaji laa...

Many have regarded me as looking the same.not much difference..noticeable meh!.

Intan said I am so motherly....( she cd have read my blog kot..!)...Well Intan...again..semenjak bekecimpung dengan dunia ibu/isteri sepenuh masa..beginilah aku seadanya...for some..true or not..the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence...but again..Allah saje yang tahu..what the best for us..mean while we just go ahead with life...after all..life is about choices...there shall be hiccups here and there..but I guess..I shall no more be lonely..I still have reachable friends...( cari aje contact no dlm list yg Gylle/dada kasi..)..and even kengkawan dlm fb pun telah bertambah..dan semangat berkawan, bertukar cerita, mengusik mengejek..telah kembali menular di kalangan kekita...membuak-buak rasenya untuk berjumpa semula....

So..I shall put a full stop here...my narrative of my ex school reunion..the way I see...the way I feel...(thousands apologies dear you all...If I had missed things here and there..).u are still the same....glad our paths had crossed...for more stories pls visit: here
and I believe..Dada and the Gang had done a well job done...cayang you all..u know who u are..

To Dada and Shana whose sweet wonderful words had made me went to the reunion..thx...aauww..meoww..

I shall wait for the cd lah Dada..for all the slide, photo and videos compilation...

And...the next wd be at Penang????..eee..tak sabar....bersiap-siap sedia lah kamu-kamu orang Utara..Pn Leelany..Shitot...and Hye leh join gak ?

p/S:..I know Shana, Neetot, Anis, Ogy, Oya, Yan are meeting tonite...(eee..jelesnye..)..and excuse me girls..I ade beg-beg tangan..sungguh tak selesa arr for all girls meeting..jadiknya..terpaksa mengecualikan diri sendiri..dan si suami ku amat sibuk (semalam overnight kat opis....aduhai..) untuk memberi sepatah dua kata tentang hajatku bergumbira ngan kengkawan..tak pe lah...enjoy yourself..nanti update eh..

Tata!...and sorry too...spelling error!!!!here and there...so be them...

Small matter but disturb me a little..

(Terpaksa menulis cerita seperti di bawah..kerana mood sedikit lari..)

I had never missed my wallet...Was very careful with things..very obedient ( as referred by my late parents..p/s:..sorry my siblings...true or not?).Except for when I was in form two in stf when my suitcase was wrongly placed by the pakcik bus at the Larkin Bus station..I was supposed to balik Ipoh (to Lumut) with train...LUckily I had the train ticket inside my baju kurung..with no cash..haha!..(thx for my friend..cd not remember whether it's BJ, Yus, Shana or Kmar yang belanja karipap masa dlm train).I was horrified to relay the news to my dad when I reach Ipoh and had been tortured time and again by him at home (I had never been scolded by ayah..not even a jentik..was a nice girl lah kununnya...and rase sedih sgt kena interogate ngan ayah macam pesalah askar!) as why I was so careless...err..not my mistake!..2 weeks later, we went back to Jb via bus and found my suitcase safely at one of the counter..syukur...

But my kids..all of four girls...(the little baby boy is still small tho'..)..and I just could not comprehend..were they not being careful..or fated to be?..no..no..no...

First, K.Long lost her wallet last year and only to realise few days before opening of school...she said must have been pick pocketed while waiting for ayah at the Pudu raya Bus station..huh? (rase cam tak percayakan!..)..So u cd imagine the trouble we have to endure again..pi buat ic baru, hilang all the atm's card...etc...

Then, Si Kakak Ngah pulak..she said she was sure she put inside the pillow case..huh again? few minutes before ayah came to pick her up (last school holidays punya cerita la h ni)..then just we were about to go to the Jabatan pendaftaran Negara..some days later...she said.."Sorry ayah, adek dah jumpa...simpan tempat lain..carik tempat lain..."..and ayah being ayah..nasib baik tak kena marah...( sebab before tu..I said to her to cakap sendiri pada ayah...saje takutkan dia..hihi!)

And this week alone, Maisarah and Maryam lost their wallet in two consecutive days .(MOn and Tue) ..huh..ape nih? Each lost Rm2.50 ( their savings from last week )..SO on Wednesday (semalam)..no duit belanja for them..bawak lah bekal..terkulat-kulat their eyes looking at me..

And last evening, I really had my nerves on..kena gak le Si Maisarah. She came back knocking the door and was happily explained to me how she had missed the bus first trip and since she didn't want to wait for second trip ( together with those who finished school at 630pm including Maryam), she had chosen to walk back...SOme half way..: "Ma, ade mak cik kasi tumpang Sarah, ma..."..and she had not known the makcik..a stranger..

Suddenly I was angry..and I said :

"Bukan mama dah kata, jgn ikut orang yang tak kenal!"

" Sarah tak ingat, ma..salah ke?"

"huh!...memang salah..what if dia tak hantar Sarah depan rumah...anything can happen..and if Sarah tak balik..for sure mama kena cari Sarah macam orang gila..dengan mengelek baby ke sana - ke mari..."..ayo...dush! dush! ( can't describe la..nanti di kata mendera lak.."

So I texted ayah:

"Geram dgn m3.Pandai2 balik skola jln kaki. Pas tu half way ade pulak orang pompuan yg tak dikenal tumpangkan sampai depan rumah..syukur sampai umah..If not...musti mama tension gile..stress..so now mama suruh dia berdiri depan pintu store tunggu sampai ayah balik..grrr..."

But me ..being me...I pitied her..( I memang hati lembut not like my late mum...if berdiri sampai malam..sampai malam la..tak caya tanya my brothers yang suka balik rumah lepas 'waktu')...about Maghrib , I had asked to clean, solat, dinner and do her homework...in her own room..not in my room..( as usual..sebab nak tumpang air cond!)

At least she came back home safe..syukur...and again and again I said to her..never try to be very clever and adventurous..not in this case..suka-suka hati tumpang orang..If miss bus, wait for the second trip...I was just being safe..

I was frantic..part of it because K.Long was thought to be lost when she was in std one..isshh..

I came back around 7pm from work one evening..went straight to the child care centre only to be told that she had not came back from the sekolah agama...and guys..u cd imagine..huh?..mana budak ni pergi nih?

I think only Allah knows my feelings...I searched for her at sekolah agama..even my late dad on his bicycle..roamed around our house compound..he even went and checked at every classes at sekolah agama including the toilet...and my maksu had borrowed her friends bike..all of us went and searched for her everywhere..frantically...I called ayah jugak lah een though I know he wd only be home an hour later...

Suddenly...around 830 pm...a neighbour came with her...she already nangis one...the neighbour said:" Dia ikut cucu makcik balik tadi..siap dah mandi dan makan".... (huh!..I said inside..)..so I thanked the neighbour...and the drama began...

My late dad was there to watch how I screamed at her..smacked her..(oopss!)...and I cried too...wahh..I was so garang then, macam naik hantu..(later my late dad kata..he just observed..and if I went beyond boundary only then he wd interfere...hihi)...and Kngah memang dah kecut perut habis..terus tertido..

Then she said: ..."Mama, kakak tak suka duduk nursery...mama tak payah lah kerja..."...alamak...hati I cair... so we hugged each other....bla..bla..bla....Ayah came back after that..everything had cooled down..he even went to his daughter room to check..kot lah all the bruises kena sapu minyak or not...he never said a word to me..he knew I was angry!!( nasib baik tak naik hantu terus!!)

And there were also other incidents where my first daughter wd do...missing from nursery again la.( at every nursery!..imagine I banyak kali pindah...Setiawangsa la, Gombak lah..Puchong laa...Tmn karak Utama la...)...gaduh dengan pengasuh lah.....( as she was rebellious..kena pukul gak dengan pengasuh nursery....) patah kaki kat sekolah lah....etc...( all these...might add to the reasons on why I am a fulltime housewife now...)

Am I too worry?..Should I not be worry?..or AM I just being too possessive?....oohh..how should I explain?..would u not be angry like me as well...

I guess...I had spent quite a life painstakingly taking care of my ailing parents...I loved them so much..but in the end Allah loves them more...that was why..as long as I am still healthy..I will take care of my kids...never know when Allah will take them back...

Am I paranoid?

Maybe the above are just small matter..but it do disturb me...the sensitive cancerian me..hence..I must find back my jovial mood to write about my ex-school re union...

Take care everybody....Nice weekend ahead..tata!

To my kids..if u read this later..then surely u wd remember 'the garangness' of mama..who time and again..wd always try to make up for the not-so-good moments...as human..those were mama weakness..but I shall be here..with so much love to shower you all everyday..as long as I could..

And again , everybody in the house wd regard ayah as the sainto...wal hal...aku lah yang sibuk ke sana ke mari...kesian aku....( sorry yang!..saje nak lepas perasaan nih!)

The last week of Jan 2009 - days to tf85reunion

I had wanted to write earlier...normally when the baby had dozed off and between free time after finishing the house chores ( yang tak pernah habis nih!!), I wd quickly run thru my pc..at times just when I wanted to browse thru the internet...baby wd make his sound...sometimes he wants milk, then change diapers, then change position...bla..bla....( macam-macam lah!)..and thus reluctantly I wd have to attend to his needs....and there goes my writings..( I am not complaining...coz I guess all mums wd feel the same..experience the same...)

I had planned to write on few things...and during breast feeding rather than staring blankly at the the tv or the wall, I wd try to picture in my mind those things reasonable for the posting...

Funny that at times when I got the chance to scribble..I wd end up changing the template la...the colour la...bloghop la....so..where got enough time to write?

So the long school holiday , ie. CNY break( a week for K.Long, few days for K.Ngah and Sarah and Yam) had just ended... Remembering back what I did?

1. Wednesday (21/1) : brisk housekeeping....ye lah bilik sikakak2 ni ade yang menyepahkan..including all unfold laundry...yeap..bilik2 tak berpenghuni selalu jadi mangsa berkumpulnya barang2 ibarat store...karang kalu tak susun balik ape yang patut ade lak suara yang merungut...especially kakak..( dia nih mengalahkan Mdm..)..

2. Thursday (22/1) : ayah picked up Kakak Mas..and Maisarah & Maryam were jumping up and down as they missed their sister..a surprise for them when they came back fr school..and cd not wait for Kakak Long pulak..

3.Friday ( 23/1) : ayah picked Kakak Moon from Bukit Jalil..they reached home around 1 am...borak-borak ngan die jap..:" Kakak, esok remind mama ye...telepon chik Midah...nak tau bila diorang nak dtg?"...

4. Saturday ( 24/1) : Family time together...with loads of laundry oleh budak-budak yang balik dr asrama....tak cukup-cukup ampaian...read my srikandi85 yahoo mail....waduh..terasa macam teringin nak join kengkawan ku..and forgot to call my relatives...

5. Sunday (25/1) : Family time together...lepak-lepak kat rumah....and I forgot what we did!

6. Monday (26/1): After lunch, ayah brought K.ngah, Sarah & yam to Air terjun Serendah...and I stayed home with KLong and Baby...A bit sad becoz I had missed to watch the eclipse of the sun and the solat sunat as well....gara-gara tertidur kepenatan jaga baby..( mlm semalamnya dia meragam sket!!)..Yg bestnye they came home with my favourite roti nan from non other restoran Ali Maju kat rawang tu...

7. Tuesday (27/1) : Sent Kakak Mas to her school....cuti dah habis la sayang...Late evening received call from my uncle fr Jb,,they are not coming....yeay!!!..later I asked K.Long:

"Kakak, mama mcm nak pi lah reunion stf..u think I shd go..and agak2 ayah kasi tak?"I don't know why I am comtemplating..sound like afraid of ayah pulak!!

" Eh mama..pi lah..bestnye...mana tau this cd be ur last chance..tak tau bila akan jumpa lagi kawan-kawan mama tu...akak rasa ayah kasi lah mama...kalu ayah tak leh jaga baby. akak boleh jaga dier...".So my K.Long has been the first supporter..as she also share the same feelings about boarding school..and thus perasaan ini membuak-buak ...malam tu tak berapa lena tido sebab nak susun plan..rase cam nak pi reunion stf85....

8. Wednesday (28/1) : Cooking as usual..and still thinking of relaying the decision to ayah about the reunion...Ayah was busy with his notebook ( he had applied leave to entertain our relatives..but in the end lepak kat umah je lah sebab sedara tak jadi dtg..)..ayo...macamana nak cakap kat ayah nih!!Kalau tak silap received sms dari Shana request for class photo..alamak sorry beb..tak dak lah..

Ayah took Kakak to A*bank to open another bank account at Bdr country home..(malas nak pi rawang la tu!)...with sole purpose to get a new atm card as she lost her c*mb atm card at Pudu raya Bus Station last year..issshh..pick pocket...But was dissappointed when after everything was done, the cashier said :

." " Maaf, dik. Bawah 18 tahun tak dpt atm card."..so Kakak and ayah went into the car and kakak called me...

" Ma, kena deposit Rm100 dan tak dpt atm sebab akak bawah 18 tahun."

"Say what?...ape bank tuh?..B*n pun kasi atm card"...Mama grumbled and asked ayah on whether he had asked the counter about it..I felt annoyed becoz I was the one who had insisted ayah to accompany Kakak..after browsing the internet which states opening account requires a minimum of Rm20....or was it I salah tengok...salah baca?

" Kakak, go back to the bank and bawak keluar duit.." I said to kakak..terasa macam mendidih perasaan pd bank tu.THinking also, I wd like to reserve my few cash for reunion registration...

Later kakak called me and informed. " Ma, hari ni tak leh sebab baru buka akaun, esok baru boleh. Ayah kata esok lah ayah buka akaun baru and kakak can use his atm card."...so i replied..ok lah..that's sensible..

As the night came..still thinking about reunion stf...

8. Thursday (29/1) : Masak spesial sket le hari nih..kunun nak ambik hati ayah pasal reunion lagi!..after maghrib ...memberanikan diri menyuarakan hasrat hati with all the plans and schedule serta perkara yang melibatkan Baby....(ape nak buat kan..macam inilah..mothers like me...kalu nak bergerak memang kena pastikan everything in order..I worry too much..walhal...they surely wd manage punya...)

Yes!!..ayah kata :" Pi lah, ayah jaga baby"...

dan tanpa membuang masa, hantar sms kat Dada...:".pls count me in Dada..I nak pi reunion"..and

Dada jawab :" U memang gatal...bla-bal-bla...pay at singgahsana and dress to kill tau!"..and Dada if u read this...aku memang gatal!!sorry eh!

9. Friday (30/1) : Pagi2 buta hantar sms kat Shana and Farah...tghri gosok baju untuk nak pi reunion...arrgghh..hijau..hijau..mana satu baju hijau nih!!Hati sangat gumbira..at last dapat menghiburkan diri sendiri..about 10.30pm..masa tengah tengok Raja lawak kat astro ( as if mcm tak de cerita lain nak tengok..) received call from Shana..sangat teruja nak pi reunion..

10. Saturday (31/1) : Early morning went to the shop to get few groceries, buy breakfast with extra lauk sebab tghr tak masak heavy but thinking on just nasi goreng ..Ayah went jogging without notifying me...isshhh!! becoz I thought I wanted to ask him to buy breakfast. When I came back, baby was crying out of his lung....isshh terkejar-kejar rasenye..( ayah still not back fr his morning jog..grr.)...nak mandikan baby, feed him..laundry and prepare table for breakfast...

Then about 10am..ayah took Maryam to the DEntist...nak kena cabut gigi..I said to ayah tak payah le pi dentist..cabut je dengan benang..but ayah kata..tak pe lah..kesian lak kat maryam..And they came back around 12 pm..."Ayah, cabut gigi kah?..buat gigi?"..then Maisarah kata ade ramai orang kena tunggu giliran...by this time, I know I must start packing things for baby (including my stored milk ..) as ayah nak bawak dia pi umah his sister lepas hantar mama ke Singgahsana.

About 1pm we left home and stopped by r&r for solat zuhur but later decided to go to nearest petrol station ( as parking mcm tak de je...)..

Reached singgahsana around 215pm.....and so I was greeted by few friends....yeay!!!..I've made it...I am at the reunion tunfatimah85....for this..I shall make special posting later..I had a great time....at last ..a little break from the housewife, mum and nursiring routine..(.but a little bit sad becoz Farah, one of my best friends, txted me saying she cdn't make it...)..

Then ayah came around 7pm...saw Mikhael sucking Maryam's little finger...he must be very hungry...I miss him....along way back, I relayed to ayah what had happened at the reunion...and said to ayah...I got a rose!!how sweet..plus other goodies..and balloon too..( I first saw my friend tacked away the balloon for her kids..so I copied cat her...just to see smile on Maisarah's and Maryam's face as earlier on they had pleaded to tag along...)

Reached home around 8pm...after cleaning myself and baby...to the kitchen just to cook simple dish ( walupun dalam hati..aduhh...penat arr....).

Later watched kakak doing her packing...and again relayed the whole incident to her...and laughed over silly things which I had encountered...especially pictures on the slide ...hihi!!

11. Sunday (1/2) : oo..how I wish..I cd just lay down..no worries about anything..I think my jaw line muscle hurt little bit..eh..why arr???( well..must be too much laughter at the reunion..see...friends...aku dah lama tak bergelak sakan..memang kelakar..).Cooked 'jemput-jemput' tepung ...as requsted by kakak..and around 9am..off we went to Bukit Jalil..and we said bye-bye to Kakak Munirah...till we meet again, insya'Allah for the next school break..

" Kakak, jaga diri ok...jaga kesihatan..and study smart...doa dan solat hajat for ur coming exam..."..and I waved to her....tears coming out la pulak....

Then we went straight to J*ram Kuala Selangor to visit Kakak Mas...stayed about an hour at Pantai Remis as Kakak Mas wanted to buy Kerang bakar..and we chit chat chit chat....and kakak Mas belanja adik2nya KFC chicken sold at the van bergerak..(never saw this KFC van before...)and sent her back before 6pm..

" Mas, jaga diri and banyak doa supaya mudah capai target 'hafiz'.."

"Mama dan ayah doakan adek ye!!"..Kakak Mas wd always refer herself as 'adek' whenever she talk to us..So we said gd bye..tears again for me...Around 6pm..reached home....

And those were things happening for the last week of January 2009...at least I am able to record them in this so called electronic diary...for my future reference...for my broods...for all the events of which each carries its own smile and tears...thats' life...I am blessed!!

Just feeling like...carpenters again

I just had a quick snack..just an egg sandwich to suffice my hunger before dinner tonight...

Sigh..I am constantly hungry and thirsty too....dehydration...( feel like I cd drink a whole 1 litre at one go....hihi) cd it be the 'jamu' that i just started consuming for the past few days...

Thus..I am finding something to soothe myself down...( soothing lil Mikhael is another thing though..)..How I wish at times that I cd have hands like octopus..to grab one thing in one hand, eat at another, cooking and lullaby my newborn son...( not so newborn lah...almost 2 months..and he's starting to coo..and ahh..and smile that melts me down...)and..the most currently is to hae another hand to roam around the mouse so that I cd surve the internet, bloghop, facebook..etc...perhaps just like the mum of the incredibles.

Just went thru one of the old songs...my favourite and thought wd like to add into my blog..at least all my broods wd remember later...that carpenters used to be their mama fa singer..songs...enjoy dear...

************************************

Top of the world

Such a feelin's comin' over me
There is wonder in most everything I see
Not a cloud in the sky
Got the sun in my eyes
And I won't be surprised if it's a dream

Everything I want the world to be
Is now coming true especially for me
And the reason is clear
It's because you are here
You're the nearest thing to heaven that I've seen

I'm on the top of the world lookin' down on creation
And the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I've found ever since you've been around
Your love's put me at the top of the world

Something in the wind has learned my name
And it's tellin' me that things are not the same
In the leaves on the trees and the touch of the breeze
There's a pleasin' sense of happiness for me

There is only one wish on my mind
When this day is through I hope that I will find
That tomorrow will be just the same for you and me
All I need will be mine if you are here

I'm on the top of the world lookin' down on creation
And the only explanation I can find
Is the love that I've found ever since you've been around
Your love's put me at the top of the world

And its Monday again..and close to you..carpenters

and so does all the routine work..

and counting of when I would be able to do or at least start some where of all things planned..

Spoken to ayah last night : ".. Cepat le besar baby..."

And ayah replied : " Ni dah besar la ni...slowly..tunggu la nanti bila dah mula merangkak...tunggu la mama..just watch the hero in action..."


Watching the baby in the arms of his father....so sweet...and he is so gentle....not knowing whats going on out there....in the world...in Gaza..perhaps...and i feel so blessed...

And I just dozed off...tak perasan bila ayah tutup tv..AJL...entah sapa yang menang..as mama had to catch up on short nap..before baby wakes up for another round of feeding..Meanwhile..ayah takes charge..haha!!!

Maisarah and maryam pun dah lama tidor..esok mula sekolah semula...

Praying for the greatest health so that what ever planned cd be materialised...well what else...

And out of boredom..I still find the songs by Carpenters..so ..music to my ears...




CLOSE TO YOU (Carpenters)

Why do birds suddenly appear
Every time you are near?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.

Why do stars fall down from the sky
Every time you walk by?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.

On the day that you were born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold
And starlight in your eyes of blue.

That is why all the girls in town
Follow you all around.
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.

On the day that you were born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold
And starlight in your eyes of blue.

That is why all the girls in town
Follow you all around.
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.
Just like me (Just like me)
They long to be
Close to you.

Wahhhhhhhhhhh, close to you.
Wahhhhhhhhhhh, close to you.
Hahhhhhhhhhhh, close to you.
Lahhhhhhhhhhh, close to you.

The two go bald..??New year resolution?

Dear Son..now u are fully awake and what kind of look is that?...can u see me in you or its all daddy's....(waa....tak aci...)..and eh! awat hidung hang kembang???



And just wanna have these two special person captured in my blog after having their hair shaved..

Wallaa...new year with new head....bald is sexy meh!!!



( and they sleep like a log....at least mama cd have a cup of hot milo..during supper)





( And Sarah and Yam cheekily giggled and watched the daddy with their little brother..)





(and Mama wdn't wanna miss a shot too...well friends..how do I look?)..from the face..ok lah..Huh..but I still have those spare tyres and stretchmarks...which I think will take more than a year to be repaired...anyway...I close my case... Mikhael punya hidung kembang lagi...

And what am I doing now?..the research says for every one ounce of breastfeed..I shd be able to shed away 20 calories..and for a good supply of milk I need at least 12 glasses of water and good 1500 calories....waa..( nak makan ape tu...)..true or not???..and baby is fed at a minumum of 10 times a day with at least 2 ounce per feeding..(maths..mathss..)but one thing for sure I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight..and sheepishly 2 kilo lighter...waa..heaven!!(but still the BMI is overweight...) isshh..and dear ayah..u still owe me a good juicy beef steak kan!! Bila nak belanja???

when it comes to maintaining gd health and shape..I usually am the lazy and not strong willed(hangat-hangat- tahi ayam one.).and as I cd not miss sweat menu & beverage...loooonngg road to go..even I still have few packets of param, ubat sapu kurus..and the 'bengkung' dah satu minggu kasi cuci (kunun lepas habis pantang kasi cuci la..and ingat akan pakai lagi..)and hang nicely inside the drawer...waa...ini macam mana boleh 36-26-36....ha!ha!........( sorry Che Abang Mus..errr sponsor me to that slim & trim place ..can or not?)..p/s: Baby mikhael is 48 days now...

Dear bloggers...one need strong determination to achieve one's objective....at least to keep fit remain one of my new year resolution...ever...every year...every year..



p/s: i am exhausted and off to my noon nap....see you ! tata!