Small matter but disturb me a little..

(Terpaksa menulis cerita seperti di bawah..kerana mood sedikit lari..)

I had never missed my wallet...Was very careful with things..very obedient ( as referred by my late parents..p/s:..sorry my siblings...true or not?).Except for when I was in form two in stf when my suitcase was wrongly placed by the pakcik bus at the Larkin Bus station..I was supposed to balik Ipoh (to Lumut) with train...LUckily I had the train ticket inside my baju kurung..with no cash..haha!..(thx for my friend..cd not remember whether it's BJ, Yus, Shana or Kmar yang belanja karipap masa dlm train).I was horrified to relay the news to my dad when I reach Ipoh and had been tortured time and again by him at home (I had never been scolded by ayah..not even a jentik..was a nice girl lah kununnya...and rase sedih sgt kena interogate ngan ayah macam pesalah askar!) as why I was so careless...err..not my mistake!..2 weeks later, we went back to Jb via bus and found my suitcase safely at one of the counter..syukur...

But my kids..all of four girls...(the little baby boy is still small tho'..)..and I just could not comprehend..were they not being careful..or fated to be?..no..no..no...

First, K.Long lost her wallet last year and only to realise few days before opening of school...she said must have been pick pocketed while waiting for ayah at the Pudu raya Bus station..huh? (rase cam tak percayakan!..)..So u cd imagine the trouble we have to endure again..pi buat ic baru, hilang all the atm's card...etc...

Then, Si Kakak Ngah pulak..she said she was sure she put inside the pillow case..huh again? few minutes before ayah came to pick her up (last school holidays punya cerita la h ni)..then just we were about to go to the Jabatan pendaftaran Negara..some days later...she said.."Sorry ayah, adek dah jumpa...simpan tempat lain..carik tempat lain..."..and ayah being ayah..nasib baik tak kena marah...( sebab before tu..I said to her to cakap sendiri pada ayah...saje takutkan dia..hihi!)

And this week alone, Maisarah and Maryam lost their wallet in two consecutive days .(MOn and Tue) ..huh..ape nih? Each lost Rm2.50 ( their savings from last week )..SO on Wednesday (semalam)..no duit belanja for them..bawak lah bekal..terkulat-kulat their eyes looking at me..

And last evening, I really had my nerves on..kena gak le Si Maisarah. She came back knocking the door and was happily explained to me how she had missed the bus first trip and since she didn't want to wait for second trip ( together with those who finished school at 630pm including Maryam), she had chosen to walk back...SOme half way..: "Ma, ade mak cik kasi tumpang Sarah, ma..."..and she had not known the makcik..a stranger..

Suddenly I was angry..and I said :

"Bukan mama dah kata, jgn ikut orang yang tak kenal!"

" Sarah tak ingat, ma..salah ke?"

"huh!...memang salah..what if dia tak hantar Sarah depan rumah...anything can happen..and if Sarah tak balik..for sure mama kena cari Sarah macam orang gila..dengan mengelek baby ke sana - ke mari..."..ayo...dush! dush! ( can't describe la..nanti di kata mendera lak.."

So I texted ayah:

"Geram dgn m3.Pandai2 balik skola jln kaki. Pas tu half way ade pulak orang pompuan yg tak dikenal tumpangkan sampai depan rumah..syukur sampai umah..If not...musti mama tension gile..stress..so now mama suruh dia berdiri depan pintu store tunggu sampai ayah balik..grrr..."

But me ..being me...I pitied her..( I memang hati lembut not like my late mum...if berdiri sampai malam..sampai malam la..tak caya tanya my brothers yang suka balik rumah lepas 'waktu')...about Maghrib , I had asked to clean, solat, dinner and do her homework...in her own room..not in my room..( as usual..sebab nak tumpang air cond!)

At least she came back home safe..syukur...and again and again I said to her..never try to be very clever and adventurous..not in this case..suka-suka hati tumpang orang..If miss bus, wait for the second trip...I was just being safe..

I was frantic..part of it because K.Long was thought to be lost when she was in std one..isshh..

I came back around 7pm from work one evening..went straight to the child care centre only to be told that she had not came back from the sekolah agama...and guys..u cd imagine..huh?..mana budak ni pergi nih?

I think only Allah knows my feelings...I searched for her at sekolah agama..even my late dad on his bicycle..roamed around our house compound..he even went and checked at every classes at sekolah agama including the toilet...and my maksu had borrowed her friends bike..all of us went and searched for her everywhere..frantically...I called ayah jugak lah een though I know he wd only be home an hour later...

Suddenly...around 830 pm...a neighbour came with her...she already nangis one...the neighbour said:" Dia ikut cucu makcik balik tadi..siap dah mandi dan makan".... (huh!..I said inside..)..so I thanked the neighbour...and the drama began...

My late dad was there to watch how I screamed at her..smacked her..(oopss!)...and I cried too...wahh..I was so garang then, macam naik hantu..(later my late dad kata..he just observed..and if I went beyond boundary only then he wd interfere...hihi)...and Kngah memang dah kecut perut habis..terus tertido..

Then she said: ..."Mama, kakak tak suka duduk nursery...mama tak payah lah kerja..."...alamak...hati I cair... so we hugged each other....bla..bla..bla....Ayah came back after that..everything had cooled down..he even went to his daughter room to check..kot lah all the bruises kena sapu minyak or not...he never said a word to me..he knew I was angry!!( nasib baik tak naik hantu terus!!)

And there were also other incidents where my first daughter wd do...missing from nursery again la.( at every nursery!..imagine I banyak kali pindah...Setiawangsa la, Gombak lah..Puchong laa...Tmn karak Utama la...)...gaduh dengan pengasuh lah.....( as she was rebellious..kena pukul gak dengan pengasuh nursery....) patah kaki kat sekolah lah....etc...( all these...might add to the reasons on why I am a fulltime housewife now...)

Am I too worry?..Should I not be worry?..or AM I just being too possessive?....oohh..how should I explain?..would u not be angry like me as well...

I guess...I had spent quite a life painstakingly taking care of my ailing parents...I loved them so much..but in the end Allah loves them more...that was why..as long as I am still healthy..I will take care of my kids...never know when Allah will take them back...

Am I paranoid?

Maybe the above are just small matter..but it do disturb me...the sensitive cancerian me..hence..I must find back my jovial mood to write about my ex-school re union...

Take care everybody....Nice weekend ahead..tata!

To my kids..if u read this later..then surely u wd remember 'the garangness' of mama..who time and again..wd always try to make up for the not-so-good moments...as human..those were mama weakness..but I shall be here..with so much love to shower you all everyday..as long as I could..

And again , everybody in the house wd regard ayah as the sainto...wal hal...aku lah yang sibuk ke sana ke mari...kesian aku....( sorry yang!..saje nak lepas perasaan nih!)