Ramadhan 2012 : is just around the corner...

Entering Rejab, in a few days' time... I am shivering inside...for the things that had happened last year.. Ya rabb, make it easier this time....pls!! ya rabb, sampaikanlah kami ke ramadhan... Owh ho.. I had missed many events.... from last march 2012... not sure whether time is not such a constraint..or i am just plain 'lazy'....

Farewell..

If it wasn't The Almighty who had made it easy....

Then for sure I'll miss that last moment...

Unsure whether it's worth travelling down south, i had managed to seek guidance from Him..

Without further delay..I straight away packed all the things necessary..with time and again seek opinion or rather green light from my hubby...."should we go?"...when?..how?..What are the plan..if this happened?..or what to do if that happen?...wd we be able to reach there in time?...

Gosssh...Only Allah knows my woes...

Prior to departure, my hubby had googled for some route in jb ( as we 'r not familiar with many).We had called several clinics and private hospital asking for home doctor..but none available...and in case needed, we had jot down few phone numbers, like ambulance and nearest clinics/hospitals...(entah lah...we just did what we thought sensible..)..After subuh, off we went to fetch KNgah at Kuala Selangor..eemmm..I had not had my sleep..so ter tido2 gak dlm perjalanan.Finally we reacxhed Jb around 1 pm.

There I saw my grandfather....weak..restless...eyes shut...thirsty too..I think!.

I have seen this kind of gestures...few hours before both my parents passed away...but nothing is sure..nothing...albeit many signs....no exact 'hadith' to support my thinking..just a normal..kebetulan..or kebiasaan orang melayu...

Datuk cdn't eat for the past two days..little fever....that's what my aunt told me..and kept telling to my aunt before the collapse that he did see like somebody is watching at him..so what wd u think?...

After solat zohor me and hubby recited the 'Surah Yasin'...time and again I called for his name...he was weak...but his eyeball were busy behind his lids..( Sakaratul Maut?..I am in denial...) and since my aunt said she's probably taking my datuk to S'pore next morning..so I thought , i'd better go and fetch my eldest nearby who's busy with the PMR trial..Meanwhile Little Mikhael is restless too...

No more words..and jokes...syukur I visited him last July in my last entry here...Well..we've missed each other for some 9 years..He last wrote to me in 2004..conveying his state of health...

( here are some pictures of our last visit..)

And why Mikhael is so restless..tak moh pandang datuk...













( (The only gambar yang datuk facing the camera...)












Everybody tengok camera yang maksu ambik..Mikhael sorang pandang pada Ayah punya hphone...







While KLong was so emotional...( dia rindu pada neneknya more than words cd ever say..)

And KNgah..as usual the loving smile...
..eemmm...nampak macam datuk nangis..mungkin masa ni my aunt kata kat my datuk yang my mum dah lama meninggal...





On the way to Larkin from Tmn Rinting..my aunt called...saying datuk seem to be having difficulty in breathing..So I straight away call ambulance and requested my second to accompany my aunt to the Hospital Pakar I*mail...while me hopefully be granted permission by my eldest pengetua..nak bawa K.long keluar jap...and I told my aunt to stay calm ..and Insya'Allah we shall meet at the said hospital..

While I was busy at my eldest's headmister's office..my grandfather is fighting for his last breath..( Later when asked..my second said..it was painful mama...kesian tengok atuk...and my second was there with my datuk inside the ambulance....she actually had felt a swift breeze of cold air.enough to naikkan all the bulu roma....oo..Malaikat Izrael?....)..and he stopped breathing...Innalillahi Wainna.Ilahi Rojiun.....tepat jam 4.44 petang, hari khamis 20 Ramadhan..10 Sept 2009....( same time with my late mum...in Ramadhan too..)..He was 86..

We reached at the Hospital only to be greeted by my aunt..tearfully...and I saw him motionless on the bed...I bid farewell too....Alhamdulillah Datuk..ini bulan yang mulia..tamatlah sudah segala penderitaan..kesengsaraanmu..mudah2an datuk ditempatkan bersama para syuhada..para solihin...

After the 'normal' preparation and procedure..datuk was brought to my uncle's house in Spore ( not easy procedure though! but since some of m uncles had insisted...so datuk pun dibawa lah ke Singapura..for burial next morning...and we just stayed at my aunt's house in JB..the house was quiet..solemn....solemn....sad...( tak de pasport laa...)

A loss which shall take time to heal...

And I am still in 'unexplained' mood....

Few days back, I had mentioned to my hubby..lets celebrate this raya in Jb with him..but the plan now has to be changed...eemmm...

I have learnt and read about 'Sakaratul maut'..and this subject has been close to my heart since the demise of my parents....interesting topic..all humankind shall go through..

Mudah2an kita semua dipermudahkan di kala saat2 sakaratul...Mati itu pasti..tetapi..selagi hidup..berjuanglah..beribadahlah....carilah kebaikan...kita tidak tahu bila maut akan menjemput...

p/s:
1) Photos extracted..taken during our last visit( me, K.Long, K.Ngah and Mikhael..)..some time datuk wd smile..some time he cries...

2)Writer is wishing Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to all her blogger friends...

Ramadhan Almubarak..

To all blog hoppers and friends..wishing all of you..Happy Ramdhan and hopefully, this year around..a more meaningful and blessed!

Despite practice after practice ( during last months..)..my first day of fasting was a mixed of 'sleepy' and 'happy' and 'joints pain'.

We came back quite late the previous nite after the check up at Gombak and few shopping...kemas dan laundry segala..settled down about 12...I had wanted to turn on the alarm but I guessed..I just slipped away..mujur le dengar hujan subuh around 5 am..and really dragged myself to the kitchen...
(..Wd be best if once in a while..everything is already prepared kan!)..So the anak2 and the ayah pun dikejutkan...and the most hatred incident happenned again..coz Maisarah accidently slipped her cup of milo and ayah did that to my nescafee....aduh!!...kerja mengelap!!

Kakak: Sarah..ko nasib baik..kalau dulu..mama mesti dah pial perut akak!!!
(Surprisingly...i am more tone down now...)

At 9 am..I had wanted to finish sewing my raya dress..but went on to nap about 2 hours...dan keadaan di dalam rumah sungguh sunyi sepi...( ape hal semua orang tak mau bangkit!!)...relax la..

After zhr, slowly..at my own pace.to the kitchen...dalca ayam and kacang botol goreng,with kubis lemak and ikan goreng untuk kekanak...So what about dessert???First history I had tried to make donut which turn out to be 'bentan'...well ..too much of butter..and since ayah was so lazy to go out..(even though I had hinted so many times to him..)..we swallowed everything during breakfast...

Between cooking wd see..Maisarah and Maryam...peeping into the kitchen....complaining of hungry..etc...Shian nih....so about half an hour before berbuka...patik teman le kanak2 tuh main basikal kat luar rumah...(Ish!!...ade energy??)..and I felt a few pain at my joins..must be too long of standing at the kitchen..knowing now..I have extra weight!!

So..that was yesterday..alhamdulillah and today i might be just me, sarah and Iyam,...coz kakak shall go back to her school..and ayah..can't promise whether he cd be back to berbuka bersama..
So...what'd u suggest?...Whats for cooking??

Tata!