Saya sayang cikgu saya..dan cikgu pada anak2 saya..Happy teacher's day!

CIkgu, satu profesyen yang mulia....satu anugerah Keramat!!!...

Selamat Hari Guru buat semua guru di luar sana..insan2 yang luar biasa...

Bimbinglah anak2 saya tanpa syarat....Tkaseh cikgu!

Sayang emak..sayang Musalmah..Happy mum's day!

Happy Mother's Day....

Setiap tahun..bahkan setiap hari...saya dilimpahi kaseh sayang dari anak2..dengan cara mereka tersendiri...tahun ni, anak2 yang dekat bagi 'present'...kad..dan yg jauh itu...sempat gak telepon...

Eemm...nak cerita panjang tapi masa sangat suntuk....

Tapi sudah pasti saya akan teringat pada arwah Emak....Saya tahu anak2 saya pun begitu terutama Kak Moon, mungkin juger KMas..kerana yg lain2 hadir setelah emak pulang ke rahmatullah....DAn sudah itu kehendakNYa..Pasti itu yang terbaik buat arwah mak dan kami semua...walaupun setiap saat saya merinduinya...Saya kira itu hadiah paling bermakna...tetapi setakat 30 tahun sahaja....DAn jikalau sana siini orang memperkatakan tentang dasyatnya doa ibu..

Saya rasa kekurangan...tetapi saya yakin....emak akan datang memeluk dan mendengar segala rintihan melalui rahmat kaseh sayang Allah...Semuga Allah menempatkan arwah Mak bersama para solihin...Dan " aku mohon Ya Rabbi..agar Engkau jadikan aku anak yang soleh..agar doa2ku dapat menerangi perbaringan arwah emak..."..Serta..Janganlah Engkau biarkan aku seorang diri Ya Rabbi..Setelah Engkau ambil kaseh sayang arwah bondaku..Aku hanya menggantungkan harap padaMu"

Bila arwah mak dah tak de....saya ade satu lagi pilihan..iaitu Mak Mertua....

DAlam Radio IKIM kelmarin, sempena hari ibu...Dr Fadhilah Kamsah kata.." seorang isteri mesti sanjung , kaseh dan sayang pada Ibu Mertua mereka...lebih (kalu tidak sama) dari ibu kandung sendiri...."

DAn saya diam terpaku..walaupun sedang memandu...Saya kira..ade banyak lagi peluang yang saya belum ambil..banyak lagi ruang kosong untuk saya penuhi..banyak lagi hati yang saya belum 'jaga' sepenuhnya..SesungguhNya hati kita semua milik Yang Esa...

Masihkah ade hari esok utk saya terus menyemai budi pada anak2 dan IbuMertua..?..Saya berasa penat dan lemas dalam pelbagai harapan..saya harap, saya dapat yakinkan pada anak2 saya bahawa hidup ini adalah satu ujian dari Allah, orang2 yang berjaya adalah mereka yang dapat melalui kehidupan ini dengan kejayaan dan sentiasa tunduk kepada ketetapan-ketetapan Allah..

Selamat Hari Ibu semua!..Khas buat Ibu Mertuaku..(biarpun engkau mungkin tidak betah melihat tulisan ini)..Puan Salmah Bachik..Sayang Mak..Sayang Musalmah...

Our sweet tooth...

Yeap..I had spent few hours per day since last week searching for cakes recipe, cup cakes and particularly carrot cake...

Last weekend saw a huge effort onto deciding what to bake, given available resources...

And I am sure many out there wd agree that for us ( whose love is baking, if have extra time+energy=resources), spending time in a bakery ingredients' shop is indeed, heaven!!

First attempt of cup cakes with butter cream icing. Can earn extra pocket money?
Then, small cornflakes cookies....Also can earn pocket money for my kids..?

And what about carrot cake with cheese frosting.....?..

ok..see..ya!!...I just can't wait to do some experiment...bye for now..

Innalillah..

It was amongst the terrible shock in my life...

I had just found  my old fren thru fb..and  she conveyed a news..which is so heart broken to me..

An uncle ( neighbour at woodlands/KD Malaya/Spore when my father was  a navy)..was shot down by a robbery and ended his life just like that...Innalillahi Wainna Ilaihi Rojiun....He was a good neighbour of mine..like a foster daddy to me..esp when my late dad was not around..once, i fell off fr a tree and he was the one who brought me to the nearby clinic..to get my wound stitched up!!...and many other sacrifices..

I, pray that Allah forgive him and be merciful to him, for Allah is the Most Merciful and only He can forgive sins..May he be counted among the martyrs and his grave be widened and filled with scents and breezes of paradise. I ask that He spares him from the punishment of the grave and the torment of the hell fire, grants him the shade of His throne on the day of resurrection, and open the gates of paradise wide for him...

I am still frozen with shock and sadness...and i had searched thro the internet, u cd read the story here...

My two cents..our first bulletin

My terrible weak had gone..those few days, when I was forced to stare at my pc and meticulously crack myhead..emmm..it was such a long time since I am in charged of any flyers..let alone a bulletin..

But voila...:..as part of voluntarily work I guess..sampai demam2 dibuatnya..
The first edition of buletin muslimat1b..is here...

It is part of communication medium for us living here, we have our own blog...:Muslimat1b.org

Have a lovely weekends everyone..

something not right

I think, i got virus here lah!!...must do sth about it...
I'll be back..now nak pi hantag anak tuisen sat..c u!!!

Tak marah...tapi sayang..

Khas untuk anak mama yang bernama Maryam...

Kalau mama, tak bising, tak ingatkan...rasanya tugas mama takkan lengkap...kerana anak2 yang sedang membesar..memang kena selau diingatkan..dinyanyikan tentang tugas dan tanggungjawab masing2...Kita dilahirkan sebagai khalifah anakku...Jesteru, ade amanah dan ade tanggungjawab..pasti ade ganjaran dari Nya juger.

Ini bukan kali pertama, maryam hilang buku teks..semenjak dari darjah satu lagi, sayang!!..Dan walaupun harga buku tidaklah beratus ribu, tetapi mama hendak Maryam tahu...buku teks adalah pinjaman dari sekolah...Kita kena jaga semua barang pinjaman dengan baik...Lagipun, memang mama yang tandatangan borang dari sekolah, pasti mama akan dipersoalkan tentang buku2 tersebut terutama apabila akhir tahun, waktu kamu semua kena pulangkan buku kesekolah..Mama hendak maryam tahu juga, bukan semua boleh dibeli dengan wang. Kalau kita fikir, idak ape apa kalu buku hilang, nanti ayah boleh kasi duit beli yang baru..Owhh..tidak...kalau kena beli buku yang telah dihilangkan, siapa nak bayar?.Itu mencuri 'wang' untuk diguna pada perkara lain yang lebih berkeperluan .Contohnya: Fresh milk yang memang Maryam suka.Hidup harus berjimat...Membazir pula adalah akhlak terkeji...Kalau betul buku hilang, maka Maryam kena beli buku dengan wang saku sendiri..mama mahu maryam menjadi seorang yang lebih bertanggung jawab okey.

Ini bukan soal remeh yang kekadang orang akan bertanya : Itu pun nak marah?"...

Tapi mama marah kerana sayang...Allah sahaja yang tahu...

So please take care of your belongings ok...

Maryam and Mikhael, minutes before she realised, she had lost her maths text book..(baru balik dari skolah agama)

Mikhael and mama with the marble cake for maryam. Note: mama's eyes always close!!

p/s: I never lost my text books..I wonder why and how she had lost it?...

Double storey and how much cd one yell!!

Long has gone days when one could actually listen to the yells of one's neighbour unless he really is the 'peeping tom's species..Oh, Please..God, please forbid me from falling into that category!!

Nearly 100% of my childhood , for as long as I could remember, was I have to put up with the 'unease' feeling whenever my late mum screamed at us...out of her lungss...music to my ears..especially in the morning and evening..Err..sape suruh lambat siap!!..Nanti lori datang, tak payah pergi sekolah..siap korang!!!

But now, I strangely feel that history could not repeat by itself..by the design of my home, I find it extremely difficult to call out for my kids..either they shut the door behind them, pluging their ears with the stereo..or simply..I cannot yell out as loud as a lioness anymore...Or...I malu with the next jiran?....Hence, waking up my kids for 'sahur' is painstakingly tough..Tedious too, especially now when I have to repeatedly remind them: " Cepat!cepat!!!20mins before the school's van arrive!!Belum makan lagi ni!!!..How come, my favourite vocab these days are ...cepat..cepat!!!.

ANd I wonder If any of my kids would love to the orchestra I am playing..Well, girls...I am the lioness of the house..U know Ur daddy is the 'cool' type with lots of gold in his mouth.( ANd the malay proverb translate : Seperti ada emas dalam mulut!!!).Ooppss..sorry Abg!!..But again, I am sure, they shall miss my chaotic + panicky mum.. I am the twitter too!..and they know what it means when the bird stop singing, instead !!

I guess, MY dear Mr Land lord, would you like to consider, installing some kind of interface..or rather inter com!!!.. I am tired of yelling!!..Or Hello kids..I shall not yell anymore..and whomever are late...let them be..either u go to school by bus..or never at all..and stand my 'lioness' the whole day...and even during RAmadhan..pls let me suggest....everybody sleep downstair, Boleh tak!!!..Mummy is losing her voice..and also...please clean up the kitchen too..please!.please!!

Where is the other?

How many of people out there like me , would happilly agreed to A LONG DISTANCE relationship?

Especially when one is taking about taking the sole responsibility of upbringing the youngsters?..

Tiring..

Patience is testing. How long?

When I mentioned about the youngsters of mine, it is simply inaccurate...by saying..or be patient, have patient..no..cannot ma....

Kids are growing up, cannot buy back the time lost of not watching how do they grow up, how do they face the many challenges of a teenager....( even toddler comes with their packages..), how do u motivate them, how do you discipline them...how do you love, listen and be gentle....and at the same time assertive and be a friend to them..

Oh oh..I cd feel the world is spinning!!!

Menulis dan expresi..

Terlalu subjektif.

Sesiapa pasti mengiyakannya...

Sejarah penulisan saya..sama juger seperti orang lain...dari bangku sekolah...hinggalah sekarang...tetapi saya rase arwah ayah adelah penggerak..diikuti rapat oleh arwah emak..yg pasti saje memberi dorongan...

Saya bukanlah boleh dikategorikan oleh para cikgu, kalangan pelajar yg pandai menulis..tetapi saya akan pastikan saya tidak lupa dari ingatan guru2....rakan2...sanak saudara..dan yang pasti saya adelah johan menulis surat paling banyak untuk ayah dan emak, adik beradik..termasuk juger johan pengirim kad raye...ingin sekali saya mentitipkan di sini beberapa naskah surat dari arwah emak dan ayah...buat tatapan anak2ku khususnya...

Dan berterima kasih kepada cikgu dan rakan2 semasa bersekolah di jb...saya semenjak itu tahu , bagaimana menulis dengan lebih kreatif...

Saya suka membaca..tetapi lewat ini, terbatas dengan pelbagai perkara...yg paling utama, keadaab penglihatan yg semakin rabun deka...hatta nak menjamah nasi...tidak beberapa tepat selok belok tulang ikan...jesturu,,sudah lama tidak cuba memasak ikan parang..apetah lagi ikan terubok...(saya rindu pada masakan arwah mak...)

Saya akan cuba pahatkan diingatan barisan ayat2 mudah...bahasa melayu dan inggeris..(maaf, saya terkilan kerana Bahasa Arab saya waktu srp sekadar cukup makan, manakala bahasa perancis..langsung lah merapu..).Langsung saya menurunkan kepada anak2...masih lagi pada kadar yg agak perlahan..Saya salahkan kepada pengurusan masa yang tak keruan...begitu juger peranan IT ..yg mencuri perhatian anak2 saya.

Saya akan tersentuh dengan ayat2 dramatis...yg menyentuh jiwa, motivasi, spiritual....

Lalu saya mendekati beberapa penulis...tidak sekadar membaca karya mereka...tetapi juger berangan jika saya boleh tukarkan hobi kepada suatu bentuk yg bersifat material..sesuai dengan kehendak ekonomi sekarang....agak payah...dan saya tenggelam dengan lamunan sendiri...sekali lagi pengurusan masa dan bajet!

Paling tidak, saya mengunjungi rakan2 fb...walupun saya sedar..pakar2 penulis/pengkarya di luar sana..pasti punya rakan yg beribu...mana mungkin mereka sedar akan kehadiran saya..apetah lagi memberi sepatah dua komen pada catatan dindin...Agak terkilan....

Tetapi lewat beberapa minggu yang lalu, saya singgah di suatu mukabuku seorang pakar motivasi, setelah menghayati ruangan slot motivasi beliau di tv1...saya dengar dengan tekun..saya mau belajar....saya mau menambah ilmu...anak2 sudah ke sekolah...tinggal anak kecil yang masih diulit mimpi...say ambil kesempatan mendengar isi dan komentar di kacatv pagi itu. Lalu saya hulurkan ucapan dan cuba berkongsi dengan rakan2 fb yang lain ( saya amat berharap tidak ade yg berpendapat, saya cuba menunjuk pandai atau berlagak alim..) Dan ingin sekali saya turunkan disini ape yg saya tulis :

Motivasi di Tv1 kol 745 pagi tadi via Haji Muhammad Zakaria: penamat kpd kehidupan adalah nyawa, selagi ade nyawa perkara yg remeh & segala trauma yg merobek jiwa-pasti boleh diatasi, berpaksikan percaya adenya Tuhan..tidak kira ape agama..ape yg dibuat..pasti ade Yg melihat...Yg mendengar,Yg Memberi ganjaran.Kitarkan hidup anda dgn berjemaah secara positif & kondusif...insya'Allah terhindar dr segala gejala negatif.

DAn anda ingin tahu samada saya mendapat respon yg baik?

Suatu lontaran hasrat dari tuan punya penceramah...merobek jiwa penulisanku :-

Mazlita: Anda sudi menjadi penulis kepada buku motivasi saya? Dulu saya penulis kepada buku motivasi Dato Haji Mohd Fadzilah Kamsah dan Dato Ustazah Siti Nor Bahyah. Now I need to multiple myself. Time is running short. Kerja makin bertambah.

Dan ketika ini saya masih terkebil2.?..apekah benar ini semua?...Dari sini..bagaimana harus saya bermula?

Saya senyum di dalam hati....saya rindu pada nukilan emas arwah ayah dan emak...pasti juger dari suami..yg kerana tulisan jugak menemukan kami...tetapi suami sudah jarang sekali menulis..walupun sesekali nukilannya pada kad2 ulangtahun anak2..pasti saje menyentuh jiwa...

Dan anak2 yang bersekolah rendah...sayup2 mengalun-alunkan nasyid Doa Rabitah..sempena hari penyampaian anugerah di sekolah agama mereka tak lama lagi...Dan izinkan saya berkongsi :-

Ya Ilahi...Sesungguhnya Engkau tahu

Bahawa hati ini telah  berpadu

Berhimpun  dalam naungan cintaMu

Bertemu dalam ketaatan 

Bersatu Dalam perjuangan

Menegak syariat kehidupan

Kuatkanlah ikatannya...Kekalkanlah cintanya

Tunjukilah jalan-jalannya

Terangilah dengan cahyaMu Yang tidak pernah kunjung malap

Ya Rabbi..bimbingilah kami..

Lapangkanlah dada kami

Dengan kurniaan iman

Dan keindahan bertwakkal kepadaMu

Hidupkanlah hati2 ini dengan makrifatMu

Matikan kami dalam syahid di jalanMu

Engkaulah Pelindung dan Pembela

Selamat malam semua.....oh..sudah pagi....Kenang kami dalam doa kalian...

Amongst the motivator..

I just love my super duper senior of my ex secondary school...haven't met her..but whenever i had the chance to view her in one of Tv2's slot , normally at 8am, every Tuesday morning...

And one of her words that I love :

:SPEAK KINDLY, CARE DEEPLY AND LOVE GENEROUSLY.." ..

So start your day, feeling good about yourself..how can u serve...avoid self sabotage thoughts..ok.....see
 you!!

I am so overwhelmed with the thought of my new passion....the kek lapis and kinds..and i am starting my gear....into new momentum very soon...OMG.....so scarry....

Nice day you all...and before it is too late.....marhaban ya Ramadhan to all my muslims friends out there...

Selingan...

(Sayup sayup terdengar)...

m3: Hello, ni siapa?

pemanggil: Nak cakap ngan mama?

m3: Mak saya tengah tidur...siapa ni?

***Mama pun terjaga dari tidur2 ayam tadi dan bingkas menyambut telepon dari M3*******

Mama: Hello...

M1:..err.saya nak cakap dengan mak saya....Mammmmmaaaaaaa!.Ni kakak lah!

************************************************
mama: ( dalam hati....mcm2 cara anak2ku menjawab talipon!)..:)))))

Taking a long break

Yes, I am..

I have to stop my writings...need to focus on other urgent matter..

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Just discovered my boy is mild asthmatic and my 3rd gal is stage 4 large tonsils+sinusitis....I am Florence nightingale..2 in 1 role..

(Last weekend was a hospital trip..) While M3 was nervous about her running nose and chances of peeping at the innerside of her ears, M5 had his first lung xtray and nebulizer..oowhhh...oh yes, he got that extra attention for his howlingg ....and of course daddy's pocket shrunk!!

Bad news to me too..deactivate my fb account..that's great!..but then..can I live wthout peeping into it?..Ha..ha..nanti ade msg..terlepas lak..

*****************************************

I might come back to this blog..or perhaps a make-over...or perhaps create another blog...less stories about personal..less openness...more on interest..I don't know..obviously..it is difficult to put in writing nowdays...the madness of expressing....me and my expression...I am mad? Mental?..I am angry with myself or somebody else? Is it fair?Do one voices out?..Or just keep it inside..pretending ?I miss my dad?.Can I not just be calm and relax? I am exhausted?..why ask?

I hate my shortsightedness!!and I hate most, I cdn't focus on my part time accounting work!..Abhor, Double hate, Loath entirely!!!!..Soorryy..all the negative coming out!!

I need laughter!..So if u don't find me here, probably I am out there..finding something to tickle me up..boost the hydrogen level in my mind...

o..oo.. yes, I have this one funny scene ( at least it made me laugh!)..from The Grinch ~Jim Carrey...(Do not forget to 'pause' my music..)




...Sigh...

May tomorrow be a perfect day
May u find love and laughter along the way
May God keeps u in His tender care
till He brings us together again...

Selamat tahun baru 2010

Masih tidak sempat untuk menulis tentang pelbagai peristiwa akhir 2009..sebagai kenangan tatapan umum terutama anak2...:-
1) Hari Ulang Tahun Mikhael yg pertama = 24/11/09
2)Hari Ulang Tahun KMas yg ke 14 = 18/12/09..dan mendaftar semula ke Maahad Haf*iz Jeram...Selamat Maju Jaya----Gd Luck for ur PMR 2010.
3) Perjalanan ke Johor Bahru., Klong menerima keputusan PMR 2009 pada 24/12/2009...(Alhamdulillah- sungguh tidak disangka...menjadi contoh yg baik untuk adik2 sekalian..cemerlang akademik dan akhlak juger ye...mama sayang kakak!)
4)Kenduri Kahwin dan DOa Selamat rumah Pakcik/Makcik di JBahru = 25&26/12/2009
5) Hari Ulang Tahun CIk Abgku yg ke 42 = 31/12/2009 (Selamat Ulang Tahun Bang!)
6)Perjalanan ke JB semula menghantar KMoon kembali Ke sekolah= 2/1/2010
7) Kenangan tinggal bermalam di rumah keluarga Angkat di Gelang Patah ( Pakcik Aziz dan Mak Mon)..ooowwwhh..so nice to be pampered, mendengar pelbagai peristiwa pengalaman mereka semasa menunaikan haji, mendengar dan menerima pelbagai nasihat tentang mendidik anak2 serta mendekatkan diri pada yg Maha Esa..di usia mulai menjejaki 40an.....dan merasa sangat rindu pada arwah orang tuaku...Alfatihah!!

* Pakcik Aziz dan Makmon adalah antara rakan karib arwah orangtuaku...(Pakcik Aziz seorang pesara tentera laut dan kami pernah sama2 berjiran semasa di rumah tinggi , singapura..awal 70an..)..dan di rumah merekalah tempat persinggahanku semasa bersekolah di JBahru
( 1981-1985)..sementelaah arwah orangtua menginap Labuan dan Lumut!)

**************************

Awal tahun seperti biasa....pelbagai perkara yg lebih menuntut perhatian...tidak lupanya kerenah anak kecil yg semakin membesar....

Ade sedikit keletihan dengan tugasan apabila anak2 mula bersekolah..(Mudah2an Allah beri kekuatan jasmani dan rohani...sihat tubuh badan demi menjalankan amanahNya..)

Merindui anak2 yg telah ke asrama...KMun dan KMas..(Kenang Kami Dalam DOa mu..anak-anak2ku )

Memikirkan bila boleh membuat perancangan tentang pelbagai perkara terlebih lagi...dari sudut ekonomi dan pendidikan anak2...seterusnya perlaksanaan...

Meninjau2 waktu sesuai memulakan semula aktiviti kerja sambilan...duit poket!..(Sorry Pak LOng....account for auditing dah lama dueeeee!!)

ALhamdulillah....Masih dipanjangkan umur untuk tahun ini....mudah2an boleh dimanfaatkan dengan pelbagai ibadah, peningkatan..istiqamah....

Selamat Tahun baru semua..Kenang Kami Dalam DOamu....MUdah2an kalian juga beroleh keberkatan Ilahi dan DipermudahkanNya segala urusan...Hingga ketemu Lagi..

References dan Doktor

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I had been addicted to my fb...reconnected with many long lost friends..exchanging stories...viewing photos..and comments.....yeah..u laugh..makcik duduk rumah macam I...this is amongsts chances nak chit chat ngan kengkawan....boleh belanja makan2..virtually u know!..and it does switch off the stress button somehow....

My addiction to fb however has brought me to know some people whom I was so shy to talk too...esp all those successful people outthere..and for example I found Prof Dr MUhaya...( my super-duper senior of stf..)..and she had written a book which I hope I cd get to buy....oh and she has her own blog here

And I know this book is going to be favoured by many out there who inspire to be a doctor...for parents...for makcik2 like me yang rase sangat kagum dengan mereka yang berkeupayaan ..fardu kifayah for us...wanita-wanita...

Infact.my gynae at G*mbak M*edical c*entre had asked one of my daughters.if any of them wanted to be a doctor..Dr M*rsita Mansur said..we need more woman doctors lah dear..and i should encourage my angles if ade yang menunjukkan minat..well...I am not good with science...even if i scored straight 'A's for my general science subject...(hee...rase kecil sangat dengan those my frens who carried around books of pure bio, kimia dan fizik....). masa form 4 and 5 at my former school..I still think pure sciences drive me crazy..and not sure either if in me ade tak keturunan pakar sains...wallahualam...

And if I am being ambitious... I don't know..but dalam hati Allah saje yang tahu....

Byeee..you all..have a nice weekend....I have another week to tengokkan my daughters revision...( my primary kids baru je habis pereksa skolah agama..then sekolah kebangsaan..) end of next week...yes!....spring cleaning of the house..lall.alla.....la...and jalan-jalan cari makan!....yeepie...

My dear..oo..my dear...bawak lah kita jalan2...eemm..ade bajet tak?...rumah tumpangan Ah Tong yang murah2 and safe... boleh ape?....

When my 'friend' comes..

My friend has not visited me since the birth of my little man..and I love to think it's because of me 'bf'eing my boy..

And normally when my friend come..I wd go a little 'hay-wire'...yeah..perhaps that kind of pms thing...and due to that...I wd request for a little bit ofextra rest..and somebody will hae to take over the duty of me - 'you are my everything'.

Late last night, I prepared the ingredients for tomorrow's breakfast..and put into the freezer..so that come tomorrow tidaklah terkocoh2..what more if my boy suddenly bangun, merengek...etc..

Somehow or rather when I woke up...the 'cekodok pisang' has been cooked and nicely served on the table...lazy me!

(I remember saying and salam2 my two kids before they went off to sekolah agama..and ter'tidoq balik...eemmm..must be the effect of that 'pain-killer' and 4 times bangun memalam kasi susu pada baby...)..

Then later my two kids balik dari sekolah agama.And ...

Maryam : " Mama, masak ape?..emm..ade lagi tak cekodok tadi?siapa yang masak"

Mama:..ohh..ade orang le tolong mama masak tu!

Maisarah" Sedap lah kue yang Sarah bawak bekal tadi.kawan sarah pun suka..pandai orang yg masak tu."

HEEEeeeee.......tak aci!..Lembu punya susu..sapi dapat nama!...

Aik..siapa yang lembu ..siapa yang the other one?.....siapa?..siapa?...orang bunian yang masak?

There goes the smile in my heart.....who Else?..thx dear!

Salam Aidilfitri 2009

Alhamdulillah..1 syawal (Aidilfitri) has passed..so does the celebration....nothing much though..except for usual cooking, usual visits to aunt's house..and tv and eat and sleep and worry about the meals throughout the holidays...

Had tried one new recipee..Laksa Johor....kids love it..and hingga menjilat jari..( walupun tak cukup sayur mayur...bantai aje daa...)

To Jb on Friday and overnight at another aunt's house..

Prior..Singgah Sepang and Port Dickson...In- laws..in- laws...

To Kota Tinggi..Hubby's side...

Sent KLong....(Bye Dear..all the best for your PMR)

Back to Rawang on Sunday....singgah Pj...in-laws and mother in Law...

To Jeram...sent Kngah...and who says I cd hold on to my tears..even Maisarah was crying...

And where are my photos????how come this year raya got no photo???...aiyooo..tak sempat upload kah?

But wait..amongst many photos..I like this one best...


1)p/S:..I still miss being pampered by my late mum's cooking...on pagi raya...


TO all my blogger friends..Happy Hari Raya....yeepiee...

Farewell..

If it wasn't The Almighty who had made it easy....

Then for sure I'll miss that last moment...

Unsure whether it's worth travelling down south, i had managed to seek guidance from Him..

Without further delay..I straight away packed all the things necessary..with time and again seek opinion or rather green light from my hubby...."should we go?"...when?..how?..What are the plan..if this happened?..or what to do if that happen?...wd we be able to reach there in time?...

Gosssh...Only Allah knows my woes...

Prior to departure, my hubby had googled for some route in jb ( as we 'r not familiar with many).We had called several clinics and private hospital asking for home doctor..but none available...and in case needed, we had jot down few phone numbers, like ambulance and nearest clinics/hospitals...(entah lah...we just did what we thought sensible..)..After subuh, off we went to fetch KNgah at Kuala Selangor..eemmm..I had not had my sleep..so ter tido2 gak dlm perjalanan.Finally we reacxhed Jb around 1 pm.

There I saw my grandfather....weak..restless...eyes shut...thirsty too..I think!.

I have seen this kind of gestures...few hours before both my parents passed away...but nothing is sure..nothing...albeit many signs....no exact 'hadith' to support my thinking..just a normal..kebetulan..or kebiasaan orang melayu...

Datuk cdn't eat for the past two days..little fever....that's what my aunt told me..and kept telling to my aunt before the collapse that he did see like somebody is watching at him..so what wd u think?...

After solat zohor me and hubby recited the 'Surah Yasin'...time and again I called for his name...he was weak...but his eyeball were busy behind his lids..( Sakaratul Maut?..I am in denial...) and since my aunt said she's probably taking my datuk to S'pore next morning..so I thought , i'd better go and fetch my eldest nearby who's busy with the PMR trial..Meanwhile Little Mikhael is restless too...

No more words..and jokes...syukur I visited him last July in my last entry here...Well..we've missed each other for some 9 years..He last wrote to me in 2004..conveying his state of health...

( here are some pictures of our last visit..)

And why Mikhael is so restless..tak moh pandang datuk...













( (The only gambar yang datuk facing the camera...)












Everybody tengok camera yang maksu ambik..Mikhael sorang pandang pada Ayah punya hphone...







While KLong was so emotional...( dia rindu pada neneknya more than words cd ever say..)

And KNgah..as usual the loving smile...
..eemmm...nampak macam datuk nangis..mungkin masa ni my aunt kata kat my datuk yang my mum dah lama meninggal...





On the way to Larkin from Tmn Rinting..my aunt called...saying datuk seem to be having difficulty in breathing..So I straight away call ambulance and requested my second to accompany my aunt to the Hospital Pakar I*mail...while me hopefully be granted permission by my eldest pengetua..nak bawa K.long keluar jap...and I told my aunt to stay calm ..and Insya'Allah we shall meet at the said hospital..

While I was busy at my eldest's headmister's office..my grandfather is fighting for his last breath..( Later when asked..my second said..it was painful mama...kesian tengok atuk...and my second was there with my datuk inside the ambulance....she actually had felt a swift breeze of cold air.enough to naikkan all the bulu roma....oo..Malaikat Izrael?....)..and he stopped breathing...Innalillahi Wainna.Ilahi Rojiun.....tepat jam 4.44 petang, hari khamis 20 Ramadhan..10 Sept 2009....( same time with my late mum...in Ramadhan too..)..He was 86..

We reached at the Hospital only to be greeted by my aunt..tearfully...and I saw him motionless on the bed...I bid farewell too....Alhamdulillah Datuk..ini bulan yang mulia..tamatlah sudah segala penderitaan..kesengsaraanmu..mudah2an datuk ditempatkan bersama para syuhada..para solihin...

After the 'normal' preparation and procedure..datuk was brought to my uncle's house in Spore ( not easy procedure though! but since some of m uncles had insisted...so datuk pun dibawa lah ke Singapura..for burial next morning...and we just stayed at my aunt's house in JB..the house was quiet..solemn....solemn....sad...( tak de pasport laa...)

A loss which shall take time to heal...

And I am still in 'unexplained' mood....

Few days back, I had mentioned to my hubby..lets celebrate this raya in Jb with him..but the plan now has to be changed...eemmm...

I have learnt and read about 'Sakaratul maut'..and this subject has been close to my heart since the demise of my parents....interesting topic..all humankind shall go through..

Mudah2an kita semua dipermudahkan di kala saat2 sakaratul...Mati itu pasti..tetapi..selagi hidup..berjuanglah..beribadahlah....carilah kebaikan...kita tidak tahu bila maut akan menjemput...

p/s:
1) Photos extracted..taken during our last visit( me, K.Long, K.Ngah and Mikhael..)..some time datuk wd smile..some time he cries...

2)Writer is wishing Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri to all her blogger friends...

September oo.. september

Since early this year..I have marked this month....and of course month of October itself ( for my eldest to sit ofr her big exam - PMR).

Entering 40+ this year and today half way through Ramadhan...

Alhamdulillah..alhamdulillah..16 years of marriage...still learning..still learning...

Masih terkial-kial nak rebut peluang Jutawan di dalam Bulan ramadhan...keredhaan Ilahi..insan taqwa..

Masih terkial-kial menyudahkan jahitan sarung sofa...(not from a profesional look but enough to ganti the old 16 year's look)..thx a lot for the basic SRT learnt!

Masih mencongak-congak bila dapat membuat sedikit biskut raya kegemaran anak2..tempahan kueh tat abang...kek lapis....entah le...

Sepasang baju raya yang dibeli untuk anak2 ade yang nak kena 'ubahsuai'....yang panjang kena dipendekkan...eemm..bila agaknya..

Ramadhan kali ini sedikit berbeza...

Kehadiran Md Mikhael...my little man...memenuhi waktu santai...

Maisarah dan Maryam..tidak banyak kerenah bersahur , berpuasa dan berbuka...

Munirah dan Masturah...dengan tugasan mereka...

Memohon kekuatan dari Ilahi..untuk dipermudahkan segalanya..segalanya...Ameen..

Mohon keampunan dari Ilahi atas dosa2 lampau...

Mohon dimakbulkan doa...Ameen..Ameen...

Alfatihah untuk ke dua arwah orang tuaku ...

A weekend in Johor Bahru

Had spent last weekend in Johor Bahru....to meet 2 purposes:-

1) To meet my grandfather (late mum's side)...82 years old..used to live in Singapore (place where I was born)...now been taken care by my auntie who lives in JB...Alhamdulillah I am so grateful to Allah...I had been praying days and nights..cry sometimes.....longing to meet my dear 'datuk' whom I last met in 2001...for some circumstances..I can't renew my passport..hahah!....and I thought if anything happens to him..I am just 'pasrah'..and at last..we met..with tears....(air mata masih bergenang...bila mengenangkan..a man so strong and lovable..last time..now just lie down..sakit tua...)..we hug each other and said bye-bye...promising to come back..

Terlalu banyak memori bersama datuk..Hj Abdul Wahid Bin Hj Abdullah...
1) He registered my birth
2) He took care of me when my dad was away sailing and mum went to work

3) He brought me sight seeing at Spore town centre on his bicycle (Geylang to Orchard..on a bike in 1970's???)...remember the lion sculpture at the heart of Singapore..yes..we were there...we were there...eating ice cream...etc..

4) He sent me letters, stamps, cards, money, video tape and cassettes....when I was in boarding school and when I was in Portsmouth, even until I am married..last one was written in 2004....none after that becos of his sight and shaken hand...

5) He visited me almost every month (1981-1985) when I was schooling in Johor Bahru..away from my parents who stayed in Labuan and Lumut..imagine...we wd scooped up whatever in the school canteen just to let time pass...things which he wd normally brought..include..apples, kacang dan asam....my favourites..

6)He was my motivator....and still am...

...ooo....as much as I miss talking to both of my parents..I miss talking to him too..due to his bypass surgery..his leg muscle had became weak...diabetic..and I personally think after my mum passed away (1998)..his health began to deteriorate..(nenek pula lebih dahulu meninggalkan beliau pada tahun 1988)...

..and..i am crying while writing this..I keep telling to my daughters..this is your grand dad...(mungkin anak2 tidak dapat memahami rindu seorang cucu kepada datuknya sepenuhnya kerana datuk2 mereka telah pulang ke rahmatullah pada tahun 1996 dan 2002) ..as for me, this is the only datuk I have known coz Tok Wan Shahabuddin had long gone before my parents' marriage...so much memories....I am praying..Allah gives him strength to carry on...he suffers from short term memory loss..sekejap ingat..sekejap lupa..untuk seorang yang biasa menitipkan kalimah Allah..itu adalah satu kesedihan untuknya..infact when we were there..when my auntie berkali-kali kata : Pak..ini Ita...cucu bapak...anak K.Esah.."...the first impression was tears roll down his cheek....and when my aunt mentioned about the demise of my parents..he asked:..Dah meninggal?..Bila.../..followed by tears again...surprisingly..my daughters pun nangis juger...dear all please make du'a for me....for my datuk...

Gambar kenangan bersama datuk : Moon, Mas, Myself and litle Mikhael..Not in pic were Maisarah and Maryam..busy playing with their cousins..and of coz si Ayah tukang ambil gambar...

....well..I am so emotional when I talk about my ancestors..pelbagai cerita kekuatan orang melayu di zaman jepun, komunis dan Inggeris.....( to be continued..)

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2) To see, watch and give moral support to my dear eldest daughter..who's studying in Sekolah Seni JB...She and her form 3 friends shall perform arts production..PRODUKSI PMR 2009 ...for their PMR assessment...well u bet..the hall was full...the people from the Ministry of Education, Lembaga peperiksaan. tetamu vip..para jemputan...etc....dan dewan itu agak panas juger malam itu dengan kehebatan persembahan pelajar..muzik,teater, tarian dan visual...Heartiest Congratulations to everybody who took part...direct or indirectly...a superb and well done....All the best dear...now seni dah habis....concentrate pada PMR academic lak...gd luck for PMR...USaha Doa Tawakkal...(Iss..nak balik Rawang..dia pulak yang nangis beriya....)..
Mun..Billie Jean's Music was superb!!...dan mama masih terpegun dengan kekuatan rakan2mu..

( copy image from her school's web site : who can spot Munirah??...sitting second row from right..hihi!)

On the way to Ch' Nor's house: Mas, Moon, Mak Su Jijot and Mikhael...

Yeah..bergambar dulu sebelum show...maksu, me and Ch' Midah...( perut lapar juger...)


(Moon after her last show:..Come on Datin Jasmin...Come on...)

( Moon with some of her favourie teachers...Sayang Cikgu..berkat anakku!)

( Moon explaining something to her Nenek Midah..while mama attaining ot Mikhael who 's so sleepy.....oooitt..dah pukul 11 malam daaa..)

( Family picture...three boys on the left..my cousins...anak2 Ch' Midah...and us....Mikhael tak moh pandang depan...)


( Ok..in this picture complete Kaum Bani Musa....shian baby..nak tido and K.Mas trying to pujuk him...)

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Had a wonderful journey...tiring but meaningful...

Cdn't wait for another trip to JohorBahru..perhaps...during school break for HariRaya..Insya'Allah....

p/s:..I am in festive mood already.....yeepiee...Selamat Hari raya...Theme Fazidah Jonet...Lal..lala..lala..