Tanyalah Ustazah 2012 - Ustazah Noor Laila Aniza Zakaria - Berumahtangga...

Jodoh & Puisi Shahnon AHmad

"Jodoh memang pun disusunNya, memang pun dirancang dengan baik; samalah seperti menyusun sirih.Di mana secalit dua kapurnya. Di mana segenyeh gambirnya. Dan kalau perlu disempurnakan lagi dengan selitan sebuku cengkih, sesentil pala atau setabur gula. Ini bukan sahja untuk memperindah paduan, tetapi juga untukmengusik selera. Ada manisnya, ada pedasnya, ada masamnya. Dan, daripada ramuan itulah terjelma keindahan.."Tunggul-tunggul Gerigis - Shahnon Ahmad.

Being an adult orphanage..at times, I miss my late parents when it comes to  marriage - 'many-rooms-for-improvement'  ...

But the thought of 'kebergantungan hanya pada Allah'..make me feel at ease....

I am sharing of my late parents' favourites.." JOGET SIPINAG MUDA- PRAMLEE...
.How jovial !!...Indeed!!!



have a productive week ahead...to all....

Motivasi Pagi - Prof Muhaya - Celik Mata dan Jiwa Seorang Isteri

Apabila berpisah itu lebih manis..

Saya terkedu apabila pulang dari menziarahi seorang sahabat ..

Tiada lagi apa yang boleh dikatakan...

Hanya boleh memandang dan berjalan terus ke hadapan..

Saya doakan sahabat saya itu menemui ketenangan dan semuga Allah permudahkan segala urusan beliau..

Semuga dia tabah..dan kuat untuk menggalas segala amanah yang telah Allah beri..Insya'Allah dia pasti akan lebih gembira...jika itu takdirNya..

Allah telah berjanji dalam surah Annisa Ayat 130 :

 " Jika kedua laki-isteri bercerai, maka Allah akan memberi kesenangan bagi masing2nya dengan kurnianya. Allah lapang (kurniaNya) lagi maha bijaksana."

Teguhkan masjidku ~ Alhidayah TV3 : 7 jan 2011 & 14 Jan 2011)- Ustazah Norafizah Musa

Ustazah membuka bicara dengan mengatakan setiap kita yang menempuhi alam rumahtangga inginkan ianya bahagia dan berkekalan hingga akhir hayat. Namun kadang2 ade di antara yang akan ditimpa musibah, jesturu masjid yang dibina, roboh di tengah jalan..Penceraian adalah suatu perkara yang halal tetapi paling dibenci oleh Allah.

Pada zaman rasulullah, ade isteri kepada sahabat baginda yang datang dan mengadu kepada rasulullah lalu inginkan perceraian.

Tanya RAsullullah : kenapa kamu ingin bercerai? Lalu dijawabnya :" Kerana saya takut akan menderhaka kepada suami saya. Rasullullah bertanya lagi: Sanggupkah kamu memulangkan kebun/tanaman yang telah ditanam oleh suamimu? dan perempuan itu menjawab: "Ya rasulullah, saya sanggup. DAn pasangan itu pun bercerai.

Apakah implikasi dan persiapan emosi yang perlu ade pada setiap wanita khasnya yang melalui proses penceraian:-

1. Ambil iktibar dari kisah Ummu Salamah dan dekatkan diri dengan Allah serta banyak bersabar. jgn gusar tentang masalah yang akan dihadapi kerana Allah telah berjanji dalam surah Annisa Ayat 130 :" Jika kedua laki-isteri bercerai, maka Allah akan memberi kesenangan bagi masing2nya dengan kurnianya. Allah lapang (kurniaNya) lagi maha bijaksana.
2. Bina kekuatan hati dengan merapatkan silaturrahim di antara saudaar, jiran tetangga dan sahabat. Sessunggunhnya kemanisan dari ukhwah sedemikian akan memberi kekuatan.
3. Berdoa dan berdoa pada Allah agar digantikan dengan yang lebih baik.

Dan apabila kedua ibubapa bercerai, anak2 yang terdahulunya akan terkesan. Jesteru kita hendaklah memastikan anak2 faham dan tidak terbiar.Anak-anak merupakan amanah Ilahi . 

Hadis Nabi: Barangsiapa yang dikurniakan anak oleh Allah swt dan dia sayang dan jaga mereka, insya'allah Allahh akan selamatkan mereka dari api neraka.

1. Penceraian tidak akan pernah menafikan kewajipan ibubapa terhadap anak2 mereka.jadi perana ibubapa dalam mendidik dan memberi nafkah mesti diteruskan
2. Anak2 harus difahamkan, sekiranya berlaku apa2 dianata ibubapa mereka, anak2 hendaklah tahu bahawa kasih sayang ibubapa terhadap mereka tidak pernah hilang.
3. beritahu dengan jelas punca sebab ibubapa bercerai bukan kerana anak2 tersebut tetapi oleh sebab ayah dan ibu tidak boleh bersama lagi
4. Sekiranya anak tinggal degn ibu, ibu mendidik anak, maka tanggungjawab bapa untuk memberi nafkah/belanja mesti ditunaikan
5. Jangan sesekali mencemuh pasangan masing dihadapan anak2. Tunjukkna bahawa kita, adalah seorang ibu, yang menghargai ayah kepada anak2 kita.
6. Mohon anak2 berdoa agar ibu atau bapa kembali ke pangkal jalan ( sekiranya tersasar sebelum ini)
7. Sentiasa pelihara emosi anak2 agar mereka tetap membesar dengan sejahtera.
8. Sebelum berpisah, bawa anak2 ke tempat baru yang bakal didiami mereka sekiranya mereka di bawa ibu atau bapa.

Wallahulam..sedikit sebanyak perkongsian. Ampun maaf dii atas khilaf.

Perkahwinan..

Adakah saya terlalu sibuk dengan pelbagai kerenah anak2?

Adakah saya terlalu letih dengan pengurusan pelbagai hal-ehwal di rumah?

Perlukah saya pada motivasi bagi peningkatan penceria warna perkahwinan?

..Dan pelbagai persoalan....

Saya suri rumah sepenuh masa..bergelumang dengan apa saja cabaran yang bersangkut paut dengan gelaran suri rumah itu..sebagai ibu..sebagai isteri...(Mungkin sebagai anak tidak lagi..kerana kedua ibubapa telah pulang menyahut seruan Ilahi..saya bersyukur...)..

Pagi ini setelah merasa agak tenang dan beres dan tugas biasa..saya kembali menyusuri internet..saya mencari makanan rohani..sementelaah..saya tidak ade banyak pilihan untuk berdiskusi..rata2 jiran 2 bersebelahan ramai yang bekerja..kalau ade pun..mungkin kurang sesuai untuk saya tiba2 dtg mengetuk pintu jiran dan berbincang tentang makanan rohani...

Lalu saya singgah di blog Ustaz Hasrizal dan mencari artikel yg bersesuaian...menerusi artikel beliau yang bertajuk mengurus pemikiran tentang perkahwinan.

"Bagi pasangan yang berumahtangga, setahun dua yang pertama, biasanya indah dan ditambah lagi dengan kedatangan cahaya mata penyeri rumahtangga. Tetapi apabila masuk tahun ketiga dan keempat, hubungan suami isteri akan teruji. Mudah terjadi, suami mula mudah marah terhadap isteri. Manakala si isteri pula kerap tertekan dengan ‘warna sebenar suaminya’.Saya masih ingat kata-kata Profesor Abdullah al-Ahsan di UIA ketika mengulas tentang Romanticism, “kita selalu tidak rasional dan realistik semasa kita romantik!”. Mungkin di awal perkahwinan, romantik itu kuat mendominasi rumah tangga. Ketika itu suami fokus kepada isteri dan isteri pula fokus kepada suami. Tetapi ketika munculnya anak pertama, kedua-duanya beralih fokus kepada anak dan selepas muncul anak kedua, fokus itu perlu diubah suai lagi. Semasa itulah, rumahtangga lebih didominasi oleh tanggungjawab dan tugas. Seronok-seronok sudah berkurang sedikit. Tetapi ia adalah proses biasa.

Hubungan suami dan isteri boleh selamat dan terus memanjat usia matang pada tahun-tahun yang berikutnya. Selamat kerana proses itu berlaku di dalam perkahwinan, bukan di luar. Ini adalah kerana, perkahwinan sebenarnya menggabungjalinkan antara cinta, kasih sayang, tanggungjawab dan peranan. Ada hari air pasang, cinta memainkan peranan. Ada hari air surut, maka tanggungjawab dan kematangan pula mengambil tugas.

Saya pasti anda yang sedang melayari bahtera perkahwinan dan membaca akan tersenyum sambil mengangguk-angguk..Saya masih belajar..anda juge..

Tazkirah ..A wife...

This article was posted into my ex-school egroup and I thot..why not share in this blog..a reminder..as well..a tazkirah...a good example of the Prophet Muhammad S.a.w..

Salam Maulidul Rasul

***************A Wife**************

A talk by Shaykh Abdullah Adhami

By getting married you are not just getting a wife,
you are getting your whole world.

From now until the rest of your days
your wife will be your partner, your companion,

and your best friend.

She will share your moments, your days, and your years.

She will share your joys and sorrows, your successes and
failures, your dreams and your fears.

When you are ill, she will take the best care of you;

when you need help, she will do all she can for you;

When you have a secret, she will keep it;

when you need advice, she will give you the best advice.

She will always be with you: when you
wake up in the morning the first thing your eyes will
see will be hers;

during the day, she will be with you, if for a
moment she is not with you by her physical body,

she will be thinking of you,
praying for you with all her heart, mind, and soul;
when you go to sleep at night, the last thing your eyes will see will
be her; and when you are asleep you will still see her in your dreams.

In short, she will be your whole world and

you will be her whole world.

The best description that I personally have ever read
describing the closeness of the spouses to each other

is the Qur'anic verse which
says: "they are your garments and you are their
garments"
(Surah Al Baqarah 2:187).

Indeed, spouses are like garments to each other
because they provide one another with the protection, the comfort, the
cover, the support, and the adornment that garments provide to humans.
Just imagine a journey in the winter of Alaska without garments!

Our spouses provide us with the same level of comfort, protection, cover,
and support in the journey of our lives on this earth as garments would
do in the Alaskan journey.

The relationship between the spouses is the most
amazing of all human relations:

the amount of love and affection,intimacy and
closeness, mercy and compassion, peace and
tranquillity that fills the hearts of the spouses is simply inexplicable.

The only rational explanation for these most amazing of all human
feelings is that: it is an act of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala,

"And Allah has made for you Mates (and Companions) of your own nature ..."

(Surah Al Nahl 16:72)

Only our Almighty Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala in His Infinite Power,
Boundless Mercy, and Great Wisdom can create and ingrain these
amazing and blessed feelings in the hearts of the spouses.

In fact Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is reminding those who
search for His signs in the universe that these feelings in the
hearts of the spouses are among the signs that should guide humans
to His existence as He says in the Qur'an,

"And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among

yourselves that you may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love
and mercy between your hearts: verily in that are signs for
those who reflect." (Surah Al Rum 30:21)

But Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala knows that

the human heart is not a static entity,

it is sometimes weak and at times dynamic.

Feelings can and do change with time.

Love may wither and fade away.

The marital bond might weaken if not properly cared for.
Happiness in marriage cannot be taken for granted;

Continuous happiness requires constant giving from both sides.

For the tree of marital love to remain alive and keep growing,

the soil has to be sustained, maintained, watered and nurtured.

Remember that our Prophet Muhammad Salallaahu 'aliahi
wa'sallaam had found the time to go out to the desert and race
with his wife Aisha. She out ran him but later

after she had gained some weight, he out ran her.

Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi
wa'sallaam took his wife to watch the young Ethiopians playing and dancing
their folk dances. The show of emotions is necessary to keep the
marital bond away from rusting and disintegrating.

Remember that you will be rewarded by Allah Subhanahu
wa Ta'ala for any emotions you show to your wife as the Prophet
Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam said

"one would be rewarded for anything that he does
seeking the pleasure of Allah even the food that he
puts in the mouth of his wife."

Never underestimate the importance of seemingly little
things as putting food in your wife's mouth,

opening the car's door for her,etc.

Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi
wa'sallaam used to extend his knee to his wife to assist her up to ride
the camel.

Try to always find some time for both of you to pray
together. Strengthening the bond between you and Allah Subhanahu
wa Ta'ala is the best guarantee that your own marital bond would
always remain strong.

Having peace with Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala will always
result in having more peace at home.

Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam gave glad
tidings for those couples who wake up at night to pray
together. The Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam even urged the
spouse who rises up first to wake the other spouse up even by
throwing cold water on his/her face.

Always try your best to be good to your wife by words and by deeds.
Talk to her, smile to her, seek her advice, ask for her opinion,
spend quality time with her and always remember that the Prophet
Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam said

"the best of you are those who are best to their wives."

Finally, it is common that spouses vow to love and
honor their spouses until death do them part.

I do believe that this vow is good or even great, but not enough!

It is not enough that you love your wife.

You have to love what she loves as well.

Her family, her loved ones must also become your loved ones.

Don't be like my colleague who was unhappy about his wife's parents

coming to visit for few weeks.

He candidly said to her "I don't like yourparents."
Naturally, she angrily looked at him straight in theeye and said "
I don't like yours either"... Also, it is not enough that you love
her until death do you part.

Love should never end and we do believe
there is life after death where those who did
righteousness in thisworld will be joined by their spouses

(Surah Al Zukhruf 43:70) and offsprings.

The best example in this regard is the Prophet
Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam whose love for Khadija, his wife of 25
years extended to include all those she loved and continued even after
her death. It was many years after her death and he never forgot her
and whenever a goat was slaughtered in his house he would send
portions of it to Khadija's family and friends and whenever he felt that
the visitor at the door might be Khadija's sister Hala, he would
pray saying "O Allah let it be Hala."

**************************************************

And these days..I am more sentimental.....appreciate ur spouse!!!