Life hiccups

You may experience life hiccups along your journey...

It's a test

How do you manage your inner turmoil then?

I want to believe that every cloud has a silver lining..I would love to hang on...I would love to..

S.O.S!!

The art of forgiveness..

Is there an art??

be kind to the unkind as they need it the most?

*************************************perghhhh....*************************************

Almost every Tuesday morning, I wd turn on Hello On TV2 at *8 am..just to watch my fav programme..vitamins for the mind..host non other by Prof Dr Muhaya Mohamed..my super duper senior of secondary school...

And without fail, i wd scrutinised and tried to remember each words said..(phuh..kalah take notes down zaman skolah2 dulu!!..)..and if my baby is not up yet..and whatever housechores need to be done early..finish up fast..a cup of nescafee..glued in front of tv..Bliss!!!

This morning, the topic struck me by lightning....

FORGIVENESS DOES NOT RUB THE PAST BUT IT SHAPES THE FUTURE...

a'ha..how's that!!

Bad man is a good man's job

Good man is a bad man's teacher...

So??..who wants to be a teacher to me?..Isshh..

************************I ponder..I ponder....***********************

Before you go sleep at night pls say forgiveness :
1) Seek from Allah The Almighty
2)Forgive everybody
3) Forgive yourself..

Say your prayers..and i am off to my zombieland..Nite2..everyone...

p/s:..And where is my partner?...Aiyoo..Larling...Badminton M'sia dah Kalah ngan Jepun lahh....and can you believe Ka*pal said budak tu Tipu...

Allah knows the truth..and the truth shall prevails....Lets Doa!!

Small gifts, tame the heart

It is true all the way..just as true as the law of gravity that God creates...

The power of generousity...not merely in terms of material and kind....

It could be in terms of prayer, sacrifice..., help....like a fan=mous quote everybody knows...THE MORE U GIVE, THE MORE U GET...

One day one of my gals ask:"mama, do u we need to give when in fact we just have few?"(particularly at school when some of her friends always look forward to know what she bring to the school as bekal..)

And I said: : How do u feel, when u give?..Nice isn't it..definitely not
'...riak'....

I guess all these good values must be nurtured onto my kids and rest children of the world..

Give and be generous not because u want something in return..but as a host to God, The Most merciful and Most Kind..that we hope for Allah's blessings...to give us blessings in whatever our undertakings...

....In Islam, Our beloved prophet s.a.w encourages us to bring gift whenever we visit somebody....small things...tame the heart...

In fact , my late mother always remind me to prepare food and share with the visitors....for sure..the generosity shall stay in their heart..and I know...lots of my mums' friends wd regard her as very kind, generous...love her cooking...but me...I am still learning...plus, a slow worker...took a lot of energy to finish a dish..let alone do the housekeeping..ha..ha...not a good example my gals.

Have a nice day!Just a thought to share!!!

Di telan mati emak..diluah mati bapak..

Tajuk sedemikian....petikan peribahasa orang melayu lama...

Habis sudah cuti sekolah..tunggu lagi...

Cuaca agak panas...

Idea juga juga kering ..kontang...walaupun ade banyak kesah yg ingin ditulis...cuma tidak ade mood penyampaian ..dan olahan..

Rindu pada bicara kawan2..

Berhenti di sini...

Fatamorgana

Pulanglah pada tuhan,
Cahaya kehidupan,
Syarat bahagia di dunia,
Akhirat kekal selamanya,
Pada Allah..... Allah.....,

Sudah menjadi lumrah kehidupan di dunia,
Cabaran dan dugaan mendewasakan usia,
Rintangan dilalui tambah pengalaman diri,
Sudah surat ketetapan illahi,

Deras arus dunia menghayutkan yang terleka,
Indah fatamorgana melalaikan menipu daya,
Dikejar dicintai bak bayangan tak bertepi,
Tiada sudahnya dunia yang dicari,

Begitu indah dunia siapa pun kan tergoda,
Harta, pangkat dan wanita melemahkan jiwa,
Tanpa iman dalam hati kita kan dikuasai,
Syaitan nafsu dalam diri musuh yang tersembunyi,

Pulanglah kepada tuhan,
Cahaya kehidupan,
Keimanan, ketaqwaan kepada-Nya,
Senjata utama.

Sabar menempuh jalan,
Tetapkan iman di hati,
Yakin dengan janji tuhan,
Syurga yang sedia menanti,

Imanlah penyelamat,
Dunia penuh pancaroba,
Hidup akhirat,
Kita kekal bahagia.......

Tibalah penyelamat,
Dunia penuh pancaroba,
Hidup akhirat,
Kita kekal bahagia......

Di sudut Kamar Hatiku

Di Sudut Kamar Hatiku - Jamal Abdillah




resah hatiku merinduimu
terbayang bayang anggun senyum dan tawa mu
baru semalam rasanya bagai setahun
pemergian mu tak tertanggung

indah suasana kita kita bersama
siang dan malam seolah didalam syurga
cintamu itu cinta yang setulus jiwa
di mana ku cari gantinya...

telah ku lupa detik hitam selamanya
yang menodai cinta kita
tidak terdaya menahan takdirnya
engkau abadi didalam jaga

c/o
sepi dunia didalam riuh rendahnya
pedih jiwaku tanggung derita
patah hati ku
kesalan tiada terhingga
kau satu dalam berjuta

kepada tuhan tempat ku taruh harapan
engkau selamanya dalam bahagia
cintamu itu biarku kenanginya
di sudut kamar hatiku........

Small matter but disturb me a little..

(Terpaksa menulis cerita seperti di bawah..kerana mood sedikit lari..)

I had never missed my wallet...Was very careful with things..very obedient ( as referred by my late parents..p/s:..sorry my siblings...true or not?).Except for when I was in form two in stf when my suitcase was wrongly placed by the pakcik bus at the Larkin Bus station..I was supposed to balik Ipoh (to Lumut) with train...LUckily I had the train ticket inside my baju kurung..with no cash..haha!..(thx for my friend..cd not remember whether it's BJ, Yus, Shana or Kmar yang belanja karipap masa dlm train).I was horrified to relay the news to my dad when I reach Ipoh and had been tortured time and again by him at home (I had never been scolded by ayah..not even a jentik..was a nice girl lah kununnya...and rase sedih sgt kena interogate ngan ayah macam pesalah askar!) as why I was so careless...err..not my mistake!..2 weeks later, we went back to Jb via bus and found my suitcase safely at one of the counter..syukur...

But my kids..all of four girls...(the little baby boy is still small tho'..)..and I just could not comprehend..were they not being careful..or fated to be?..no..no..no...

First, K.Long lost her wallet last year and only to realise few days before opening of school...she said must have been pick pocketed while waiting for ayah at the Pudu raya Bus station..huh? (rase cam tak percayakan!..)..So u cd imagine the trouble we have to endure again..pi buat ic baru, hilang all the atm's card...etc...

Then, Si Kakak Ngah pulak..she said she was sure she put inside the pillow case..huh again? few minutes before ayah came to pick her up (last school holidays punya cerita la h ni)..then just we were about to go to the Jabatan pendaftaran Negara..some days later...she said.."Sorry ayah, adek dah jumpa...simpan tempat lain..carik tempat lain..."..and ayah being ayah..nasib baik tak kena marah...( sebab before tu..I said to her to cakap sendiri pada ayah...saje takutkan dia..hihi!)

And this week alone, Maisarah and Maryam lost their wallet in two consecutive days .(MOn and Tue) ..huh..ape nih? Each lost Rm2.50 ( their savings from last week )..SO on Wednesday (semalam)..no duit belanja for them..bawak lah bekal..terkulat-kulat their eyes looking at me..

And last evening, I really had my nerves on..kena gak le Si Maisarah. She came back knocking the door and was happily explained to me how she had missed the bus first trip and since she didn't want to wait for second trip ( together with those who finished school at 630pm including Maryam), she had chosen to walk back...SOme half way..: "Ma, ade mak cik kasi tumpang Sarah, ma..."..and she had not known the makcik..a stranger..

Suddenly I was angry..and I said :

"Bukan mama dah kata, jgn ikut orang yang tak kenal!"

" Sarah tak ingat, ma..salah ke?"

"huh!...memang salah..what if dia tak hantar Sarah depan rumah...anything can happen..and if Sarah tak balik..for sure mama kena cari Sarah macam orang gila..dengan mengelek baby ke sana - ke mari..."..ayo...dush! dush! ( can't describe la..nanti di kata mendera lak.."

So I texted ayah:

"Geram dgn m3.Pandai2 balik skola jln kaki. Pas tu half way ade pulak orang pompuan yg tak dikenal tumpangkan sampai depan rumah..syukur sampai umah..If not...musti mama tension gile..stress..so now mama suruh dia berdiri depan pintu store tunggu sampai ayah balik..grrr..."

But me ..being me...I pitied her..( I memang hati lembut not like my late mum...if berdiri sampai malam..sampai malam la..tak caya tanya my brothers yang suka balik rumah lepas 'waktu')...about Maghrib , I had asked to clean, solat, dinner and do her homework...in her own room..not in my room..( as usual..sebab nak tumpang air cond!)

At least she came back home safe..syukur...and again and again I said to her..never try to be very clever and adventurous..not in this case..suka-suka hati tumpang orang..If miss bus, wait for the second trip...I was just being safe..

I was frantic..part of it because K.Long was thought to be lost when she was in std one..isshh..

I came back around 7pm from work one evening..went straight to the child care centre only to be told that she had not came back from the sekolah agama...and guys..u cd imagine..huh?..mana budak ni pergi nih?

I think only Allah knows my feelings...I searched for her at sekolah agama..even my late dad on his bicycle..roamed around our house compound..he even went and checked at every classes at sekolah agama including the toilet...and my maksu had borrowed her friends bike..all of us went and searched for her everywhere..frantically...I called ayah jugak lah een though I know he wd only be home an hour later...

Suddenly...around 830 pm...a neighbour came with her...she already nangis one...the neighbour said:" Dia ikut cucu makcik balik tadi..siap dah mandi dan makan".... (huh!..I said inside..)..so I thanked the neighbour...and the drama began...

My late dad was there to watch how I screamed at her..smacked her..(oopss!)...and I cried too...wahh..I was so garang then, macam naik hantu..(later my late dad kata..he just observed..and if I went beyond boundary only then he wd interfere...hihi)...and Kngah memang dah kecut perut habis..terus tertido..

Then she said: ..."Mama, kakak tak suka duduk nursery...mama tak payah lah kerja..."...alamak...hati I cair... so we hugged each other....bla..bla..bla....Ayah came back after that..everything had cooled down..he even went to his daughter room to check..kot lah all the bruises kena sapu minyak or not...he never said a word to me..he knew I was angry!!( nasib baik tak naik hantu terus!!)

And there were also other incidents where my first daughter wd do...missing from nursery again la.( at every nursery!..imagine I banyak kali pindah...Setiawangsa la, Gombak lah..Puchong laa...Tmn karak Utama la...)...gaduh dengan pengasuh lah.....( as she was rebellious..kena pukul gak dengan pengasuh nursery....) patah kaki kat sekolah lah....etc...( all these...might add to the reasons on why I am a fulltime housewife now...)

Am I too worry?..Should I not be worry?..or AM I just being too possessive?....oohh..how should I explain?..would u not be angry like me as well...

I guess...I had spent quite a life painstakingly taking care of my ailing parents...I loved them so much..but in the end Allah loves them more...that was why..as long as I am still healthy..I will take care of my kids...never know when Allah will take them back...

Am I paranoid?

Maybe the above are just small matter..but it do disturb me...the sensitive cancerian me..hence..I must find back my jovial mood to write about my ex-school re union...

Take care everybody....Nice weekend ahead..tata!

To my kids..if u read this later..then surely u wd remember 'the garangness' of mama..who time and again..wd always try to make up for the not-so-good moments...as human..those were mama weakness..but I shall be here..with so much love to shower you all everyday..as long as I could..

And again , everybody in the house wd regard ayah as the sainto...wal hal...aku lah yang sibuk ke sana ke mari...kesian aku....( sorry yang!..saje nak lepas perasaan nih!)

And its Monday again..and close to you..carpenters

and so does all the routine work..

and counting of when I would be able to do or at least start some where of all things planned..

Spoken to ayah last night : ".. Cepat le besar baby..."

And ayah replied : " Ni dah besar la ni...slowly..tunggu la nanti bila dah mula merangkak...tunggu la mama..just watch the hero in action..."


Watching the baby in the arms of his father....so sweet...and he is so gentle....not knowing whats going on out there....in the world...in Gaza..perhaps...and i feel so blessed...

And I just dozed off...tak perasan bila ayah tutup tv..AJL...entah sapa yang menang..as mama had to catch up on short nap..before baby wakes up for another round of feeding..Meanwhile..ayah takes charge..haha!!!

Maisarah and maryam pun dah lama tidor..esok mula sekolah semula...

Praying for the greatest health so that what ever planned cd be materialised...well what else...

And out of boredom..I still find the songs by Carpenters..so ..music to my ears...




CLOSE TO YOU (Carpenters)

Why do birds suddenly appear
Every time you are near?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.

Why do stars fall down from the sky
Every time you walk by?
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.

On the day that you were born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold
And starlight in your eyes of blue.

That is why all the girls in town
Follow you all around.
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.

On the day that you were born
The angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
So they sprinkled moon dust in your hair of gold
And starlight in your eyes of blue.

That is why all the girls in town
Follow you all around.
Just like me, they long to be
Close to you.
Just like me (Just like me)
They long to be
Close to you.

Wahhhhhhhhhhh, close to you.
Wahhhhhhhhhhh, close to you.
Hahhhhhhhhhhh, close to you.
Lahhhhhhhhhhh, close to you.

Wouldn't u also ???

Since last visit to my gynae, my appetite has gone hay-wire...thus..cooking is the last thing i enjoy.(especially when at times the smell makes me dizzy..which of course make me wonder..how on earth..at this trimester??)..if its not a must....and these few days if someone wd have spotted me..they wd see me around the area of food court near my place..( difference wd only be the gown I wore and the time plus the food i bought)..Since there'r only me and my two little girls....it makes my reasoning to bring ready-made food so much easier..less hastle..no guilty...

This afternoon I stopped by a noodle stall which also sell 'bubur kacang' - sweet dessert...I was greeted by a boy still wearing a school uniform..(the said conversation is then translated into Malay language.)

Me : Eh, Mana mak?

Boy : Err..jemput makan makcik..Mak saya balik jap, solat...Makcik nak ape?..( prior to that he himself was actually scooping the noodles to himself....)..

Me: Mee hun sup 1 , bubur kacang 1 dan 2 dadih.

He looks so pro when packing all those ordered..and between that I asked him few question...like how's the paper, his other siblings..etc..

Me: Baru balik skolah?

Boy: Habis paper spm, cik...Saje je temankan mak kat sini..

And my heart melts for no reasons...

Quite a times I had this opportunity to have met and deal with nice and well mannered boy..and of course my heart wd smile all the way...why?..maybe I had compared them with those boys roaming around on a bike...dangerously showing off their talent..and things like that..or laughing hysterically inside the cyber cafe regardless of the surroundings..( u bet ..i'd been inside those cc..and since it didn't separaete adult and kids...it was like h*ll..sitting beside those little ra*cals...)

But again...I wd love to see and meet those kind of teenagers...which I think are becoming very rare..well depends on the type of places I visited...

To conclude...would n't u also love to meet and be treated by some nice and well mannered teenagers..?..Deep inside..I am eager to meet their parents too...and at least learn the parenting skills..etc...which I think still lot to be learned..

And of course..what about my own kids???

Bak kata pepatah melayu:..bagaimana acuan..begitulah kuihnya.......I wonder if I cd carry the mission...and if anybody out there who have met my husband..who is so reserved and introvert..(facts only ok!) then I'd say for this department alone..lots and lots work must come from me eh!..adeh!..well talk about soft skills...pr..pr...Well...maksu..give me a hand pls!!

Have a nice day for all nice people I have known and met out there..