This article was posted into my ex-school egroup and I thot..why not share in this blog..a reminder..as well..a tazkirah...a good example of the Prophet Muhammad S.a.w..Salam Maulidul Rasul
A talk by Shaykh Abdullah Adhami
By getting married you are not just getting a wife,
you are getting your whole world.
From now until the rest of your days
your wife will be your partner, your companion,
and your best friend.
She will share your moments, your days, and your years.
She will share your joys and sorrows, your successes and
failures, your dreams and your fears.
When you are ill, she will take the best care of you;
when you need help, she will do all she can for you;
When you have a secret, she will keep it;
when you need advice, she will give you the best advice.
She will always be with you: when you
wake up in the morning the first thing your eyes will
see will be hers;
during the day, she will be with you, if for a
moment she is not with you by her physical body,
she will be thinking of you,
praying for you with all her heart, mind, and soul;
when you go to sleep at night, the last thing your eyes will see will
be her; and when you are asleep you will still see her in your dreams.
In short, she will be your whole world and
you will be her whole world.
The best description that I personally have ever read
describing the closeness of the spouses to each other
is the Qur'anic verse which
says: "they are your garments and you are their
garments"
(Surah Al Baqarah 2:187).
Indeed, spouses are like garments to each other
because they provide one another with the protection, the comfort, the
cover, the support, and the adornment that garments provide to humans.
Just imagine a journey in the winter of
Our spouses provide us with the same level of comfort, protection, cover,
and support in the journey of our lives on this earth as garments would
do in the Alaskan journey.
The relationship between the spouses is the most
amazing of all human relations:
the amount of love and affection,intimacy and
closeness, mercy and compassion, peace and
tranquillity that fills the hearts of the spouses is simply inexplicable.
The only rational explanation for these most amazing of all human
feelings is that: it is an act of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala,
"And Allah has made for you Mates (and Companions) of your own nature ..."
(Surah Al Nahl 16:72)
Only our Almighty Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala in His Infinite Power,
Boundless Mercy, and Great Wisdom can create and ingrain these
amazing and blessed feelings in the hearts of the spouses.
In fact Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is reminding those who
search for His signs in the universe that these feelings in the
hearts of the spouses are among the signs that should guide humans
to His existence as He says in the Qur'an,
"And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates from among
yourselves that you may dwell in tranquillity with them and He has put love
and mercy between your hearts: verily in that are signs for
those who reflect." (Surah Al Rum 30:21)
But Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala knows that
the human heart is not a static entity,
it is sometimes weak and at times dynamic.
Feelings can and do change with time.
Love may wither and fade away.
The marital bond might weaken if not properly cared for.
Happiness in marriage cannot be taken for granted;
Continuous happiness requires constant giving from both sides.
For the tree of marital love to remain alive and keep growing,
the soil has to be sustained, maintained, watered and nurtured.
Remember that our Prophet Muhammad Salallaahu 'aliahi
wa'sallaam had found the time to go out to the desert and race
with his wife Aisha. She out ran him but later
after she had gained some weight, he out ran her.
Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi
wa'sallaam took his wife to watch the young Ethiopians playing and dancing
their folk dances. The show of emotions is necessary to keep the
marital bond away from rusting and disintegrating.
Remember that you will be rewarded by Allah Subhanahu
wa Ta'ala for any emotions you show to your wife as the Prophet
Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam said
"one would be rewarded for anything that he does
seeking the pleasure of Allah even the food that he
puts in the mouth of his wife."
Never underestimate the importance of seemingly little
things as putting food in your wife's mouth,
opening the car's door for her,etc.
Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi
wa'sallaam used to extend his knee to his wife to assist her up to ride
the camel.
Try to always find some time for both of you to pray
together. Strengthening the bond between you and Allah Subhanahu
wa Ta'ala is the best guarantee that your own marital bond would
always remain strong.
Having peace with Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala will always
result in having more peace at home.
Remember that the Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam gave glad
tidings for those couples who wake up at night to pray
together. The Prophet Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam even urged the
spouse who rises up first to wake the other spouse up even by
throwing cold water on his/her face.
Always try your best to be good to your wife by words and by deeds.
Talk to her, smile to her, seek her advice, ask for her opinion,
spend quality time with her and always remember that the Prophet
Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam said
"the best of you are those who are best to their wives."
Finally, it is common that spouses vow to love and
honor their spouses until death do them part.
I do believe that this vow is good or even great, but not enough!
It is not enough that you love your wife.
You have to love what she loves as well.
Her family, her loved ones must also become your loved ones.
Don't be like my colleague who was unhappy about his wife's parents
coming to visit for few weeks.
He candidly said to her "I don't like yourparents."
Naturally, she angrily looked at him straight in theeye and said "
I don't like yours either"... Also, it is not enough that you love
her until death do you part.
Love should never end and we do believe
there is life after death where those who did
righteousness in thisworld will be joined by their spouses
(Surah Al Zukhruf 43:70) and offsprings.
The best example in this regard is the Prophet
Salallaahu 'aliahi wa'sallaam whose love for Khadija, his wife of 25
years extended to include all those she loved and continued even after
her death. It was many years after her death and he never forgot her
and whenever a goat was slaughtered in his house he would send
portions of it to Khadija's family and friends and whenever he felt that
the visitor at the door might be Khadija's sister Hala, he would
pray saying "O Allah let it be Hala."
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And these days..I am more sentimental.....appreciate ur spouse!!!
