An excerpt of an article from the star...and the likes..of my newborn son..

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The 3-D scan (left) was taken in Aug'2008...then, none of us wd have imagine the exact look of him...It was the first sight of him . My first thought was how thankful I was that God shower me with such kindness to answer my heart desire without even asking Him to do it! It was an awesome moment.

However, then I found myself bombarded with fear! Fear of miscarriage, fear of people's judgments, fear of taking care of baby when Maryam is a darling big girl already, fear of disability that might be much more than Down Syndrome. It was a horrible hour of discovery!

Since that time I have been focusing on what Allah says is true ~ that children are a gift and blessing. I'm feeling loved by Him in such extravagant way ~ it's indescribable.



but now..look at his latest photo......

Remembering back those last few minutes before the delivery, he had shown signs of stress inside my womb with his heart beat shooting up..and I was just 7cm dilated....Gosh..Alhamdulillah Allah had made it easy for me, for him and for the doctor and her team as she helped me going thru that delivery process.....Out he popped out....and ayah was made to cut his umbilical cord....painful..painful...Allahu Akbar...

Just look at him..I am so speechless....

What say you...?...everybody in the house would not mind carrying him around....especially my two younger girls, Maisarah and Maryam....and at times, I just let both of them playing with the baby..(at least for me to have a cuppa milo or very short nap)..they surely have all the energy in the world to play with their lil' brother...and the eldest sisters just can't wait for the next school holidays to cuddle, kiss and do nothing but just sit beside him....watch him..waiting for his next smile...



The sisters adore him ( a little too much) and it is a delight to see them interact. I just can't imagine Md Mikhael being who he is without the sisters and vice versa.


And I can't imagine myself without any of them.

In fact, I can't imagine any one of our family without all the others. It's a complex system of relationships, but each individual is a vital part of what Allah intended to help each other one grow..

And Maisarah now think taking care of babies is not as easy as playing her pc-nanny games..and since the eldest sisters are not around, she normally become my great assistant..only not to 'dukung' the baby long enough...musscle tangan tak cukup kuat..thx sayang...









And mama rituals after solat had to be shortened too nowdays..ambil yg wajib saje.....just to accommodate the crying baby...and where kusyuk is concerned..Allah saje yang tahu...O Lord...forgive me!!..

The same goes to Maryam too..She especially would immitate all the rhyme songs I sang..just to make sure the baby always calm...at times feel frustrated if baby just wont stop crying after all her effort..shian Iyam...do not give up darling..mama count on u too!

well....it really helps to have somebody assist u with the baby ...so u wont get stressed out all day long...but come to think of it...how do our others manage?..especially my late mum when my late dad was always off-shore....O..dear Lord...grant me w your greatest strentgh please!..Ameen...

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At a recent 'bi-monthly tazkirah/bacaan yassin' session at my house community, I was approached by a neighbour...:

"Ape khabar Maz?..Baby sihat?...Sibukkan ngan baby kecik..kesian Maz...."..( oooo...that was so a 'caring' question..)...Mana babynya?

I would love to spend the whole evening telling her all my happiness and also woes..like I normally did to my late parents!!( I mean the 'lack-of-energy' side of me)...but had to just reply with smile that baby is taken care by ayah left with my expressed milk...Time and time again I have to remind myself not to 'overdo' the complain..It was because at a recent relatives gathering, when I accidentally mentioned about my 'hardship', the other person gave this comment:

"U should be lucky lah..can't complain more...we are married for nearly ten years and still waiting...".. ooo...I see... I again being the sensitive or that person meant something else....waaa....I had become very sensitive maaa....Being a cancerian..there goes my sensitivity!

And at another gathering, I grumbled a little about my busy husband..but was encountered with this comment :

"Well actually..u should be grateful..U still have a husband..many out there are searching high and low for a husband...."....waaa...not sympathetic enough !!I gulped!!like I was chocked of Cola!

I cannot complain meh!..then how to improve???

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Time and again I do have to let ayah take care of my baby.

The truth is...at some place..it is just inconvenient to bring him along especially when for the past several days, he has been acting according to his 'mood'..and I just don't want that extra focus during the 'bacaan yassin' session if he yells or something like that...

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And talk about having baby at forty..I do miss having meal out..(not that we always eat out lah...)..but nowdays If it was not becoz i was so determine to skip cooking then I really have to equip myself with all the patience attending to this little boy while everybody is busy helping themselves with the food ordered....I am so jealous of u ayah..and If I merajuk pun..u never will perasan...

Funny..that the baby also wd demand for his 'feed' whenever we were outside..so there I was...quietly at one corner...under my hijab..I wd let my baby has his own share of his lunch/dinner...but in the public..I just cdn't comprehend of the 'busybodyness' of some people....so rude that I sometimes feel like shouting to that person:

"Eh Mr/Mdm..can u not look please!"....am i asking too much....??? ayooo...

Well some Malaysians just like to stare.....

And I feel amused by the below excerpt from the star..a famous columnist..like some of her writings..resembles what I feel..what I experience..(except for that swimsuit and over use of pamela Anderson 'thing'...oopss..sorry...).:-

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"MISSION IMPOSSIBLE

(BUT THEN AGAIN WITH MARY SCHNEIDER)

The American woman who recently gave birth to octuplets intends to breastfeed them all. Good luck with that.

I JUST read about the American woman who recently gave birth to octuplets – six boys and two girls. Her doctor had told her she was expecting seven babies, so when baby number eight made an appearance, he was surprised.

“It’s quite easy to miss a baby when you’re anticipating seven,” he said by way of explanation.

Although the doctor’s statement made me wonder about the quality of the medical care this new mother had been receiving, I was more taken aback by her intention to breastfeed all her babies. With only two breasts and eight babies, I’m not sure if this is possible.

If any of her babies are like my firstborn (he was the kind of baby who nursed for 45 minutes at a time, with 20 minute breaks between feedings, all day long, and several times a night), there won’t be enough time in a day to breastfeed eight babies. Of course, she could breastfeed all of them just once a day. Or spend her days doing nothing but eating, drinking and expressing two gallons of milk with the aid of a breast pump. But then, she might not like the idea of spending all her waking hours bonding with a small electrical appliance.

Since the new mother will probably be housebound for the next three years, (I can’t see her taking her babies to the mall for a little shopping trip any time soon, or popping into her favourite restaurant for a light lunch with her brood in tow) she will be spared the stigma attached to public breast-feeding.

Some people are uncomfortable at the sight of a baby being breast-fed. They will whisper overtly to their companions and then assume the same sort of look of disgust that is normally reserved for someone who’s just taken all her clothes off and doing a pole dance in the middle of a funeral service.

Then, there are the overly curious people who ogle you in the hope that they will get a glimpse of your breast. I once attempted to nurse my son in a five-star hotel. Although I was sitting at a table in a quiet corner of the restaurant, and I’d covered myself and my son with a large shawl, I could feel the hot stares of some of the other diners boring into me.

One man even got up from his table and wandered over in my direction while pretending to talk to someone on his handphone. I know so, because as he was looking at me out of the corner of his eye, the handphone that he was talking into began to ring.

Still, despite the difficulties associated with breastfeeding in public, I tried not to curtail my social life too much while I was nursing my son.

When my son was three months old, my then husband even took us to Pulau Pangkor for holiday. On the drive to Lumut, all I did was nurse my son. On the ferry across to the island, all I did was nurse my son, and once in the hotel, all I did was nurse my son. When I look at the photos of that trip, all my memories are centred on breastfeeding.

I have a photo of me standing on the beach, in a swimsuit with a plunging neckline, the rising sun peeking over my shoulder and my son sleeping in his stroller next to me. My breasts were huge: two swollen melons squeezed into a piece of lycra. I looked like a sleep-deprived, red-haired, slightly shorter version of Pamela Anderson.

Well, okay, maybe not Pamela Anderson. It’s amazing what lack of sleep will do to your sense of perception.

That particular day, after my son had had his first morning feed beneath a shady tree near the hotel’s swimming pool, I placed him over my shoulder to burp him. He duly obliged, in a loud undignified manner, then fell asleep almost immediately.

It wasn’t until I returned to my room two hours later, after doing my Pamela Anderson impersonation as I sashayed around the swimming pool, that I caught sight of a long streak of milky vomit on the rear of my swimsuit.

After eight months of breastfeeding, I stopped – only to begin again 13 months later when my daughter popped into the world with a loud lusty cry.

I wish the mother of the octuplets good luck with her quest.

P/S: AND i WISH THE NEW MOTHER GOOD LUCK TOO!!

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True , one cannot imagine exactly how chaotic it will be if the baby cry demanding for milk..demanding to be soothed.....change diapers....etc..unless..one experience it....I feel so 'ronyok' at times...

I had once thinking of opening a childcare centre after quiting my 9 to 5 job...but hey baby...I am not patient la....

Even my daughters could sense my 'tense' if the baby won't stop crying...and especially to ayah...whose my many glare and gestures..enough to make him understand my turmoil of emotions and wd come to the rescue best ..(ni pun if he is around lah!!)..and if he had to stay back at his office..Allah saje yang tahu..)..yeap....If only the scientist could invent some kind of tube so that my milk could be easily transfered to the baby without me having to wake up in the wee hours of the morning..I am so deprived of sleep..

Nowdays...my priority is the baby....and I seldom now answer the phone...I normally wd put my phone on silent mode whenever the baby is sleeping.....as a result..many people complain..why I don't pick up the phone..only my hubby understand my 'moodiness'... The baby is easily disturbed..like a needle fall on the floor or biting biscuit also he can hear one..aduhai...and at times it is just a painstaking job to put him to sleep agian...I am exhausted! We certainly have to follow his schedule..Once evening I had a visitor and as a result I delayed his bathing and sleeping..so he got merajuk....so angry sebab dikejutkan.(ye lah..visitor datang nak tengok dia!..)...and I took almost one hour...from cuddle to the buai..to the bed...bobok-bobok..back to the buai again...oh my...

Not only do I have to endure with all the physical change of my body..the extra tyre...the back ache....but emotional as well...oh yes....'kegel exercise' has suddenly been my interest...ayoo again!..also..can somebody invent a pacifier that feel and taste exactly like the real one....I think mine has become exhausted too from excessive 'friction'...and I sweat a lot too...sorry dear...the electricity bill has to put up with my need of the air cond!!..Hormone..hormone...and ayah can I have my hair cut this weekend???what about kasi kerinting ???just to spice up my life....and more of ferrero roche choccolate please....

I just bought this cream...kunun...determine to get rid of that bloatedness....well...sapu kat perut..etc.

And the jamu for the 'rahim'....

these two products enough to make me perspire like those jogathon runners...

And I am yet to do any work outs just to get rid off all those baby fat....alamak!!








Thus I do have to hold on to this patience...because he is just heaven..and until next post....until I am more relaxed and calm...(hoping and praying that I dont fall into the category of those experiencing post parturm depression...eeeuuwww so scary oneee..nauzubillah!!.) ......wishing all my blogger friends...productive week ahead...

p/s: I am off fb too.....can't spend so much time on other things...( I got addicted to fb and tend to become grumpy if baby is crying..and this is not nice, isn't it....well talk about priority beb!..)

and to Munirah and Masturah if u happened to peep thru this blog at ur school..this is definitely one of my favourite singer..the best ever Uji Rashid and song for the mothers..I miss my late mum....Alfatihah...no wonder as I quote our prophet Muhd (pbuh)..that mothers should be valued and cared off 3 times more than the father....bless you all mothers out there...tata!

and oo yes..to kak long and kak ngah..yesterday as mama went back from fetching maisarah as usual ( her koko day)...i came across many students wearing you all punya school uniform...and..wa....mama miss u all so bad...and prayed..one of these days..either of yu two please ring me...