..SO nervous...

This is not the first time..but being a mum..everytime my kid enter a competition...truely..I am always the exaggerate nervous..than the person taking the race herself...

Aduhai....lagi pulak time budak2 nak exam...maknye jugak sibuk buatkan jadual....sangat bersemangat 3 minggu sebelum itu..tapi selalunya...akhir-akhir ini..kerna tidak pandai membahagi masa (banyak masa tido ngan baby atau addicted ngan Fb ieetiuewww!!)....besok nak peksa..malam ini pulun....itu yang suara rimau segala keluar..( Tapikan Yang....kalupun kita garang..tapi budak2 semua mintak ampun....ujung rambut sampai ujung kaki..tak moh belajr ngan ayah....!!)...tapi kekadang..mintak tolong ngan ayah gak....dan bila dah sinsing lengan....."huh?..ape dia?....nak sampai kat jawapan..ayah selalunya akan soal balik...yang basic-basic....siape lah tak berpeluh.....dan ayah akan dengan sabar menunggu jawapan..walupun hari telah larut malam.....dan anak-anakku bisa bergenang..bercucuran air mata...masa tu selalunya..mama ade excuse....mama ade baby...tata!!!

And over here is waiting for my M1's..'pidato' result..which..jgn tak caye..dikelolakan oleh sekolah lamaku dulu..yezza....the merry TF!..shian anak perempuan ku itu..sakit2 mata pun terpekik melalau cerita pasal remaja dan dadah...kelentong ape gaknya....kerana sakit mata..hakim boleh kasi markah kesian kot..haha!

I had to fax a permission letter to her pengetua yesterday...ubat dah habis...mata lom baik...minta dia pulang puan pengetua..kami nak buat rawatan susulan.......ye lah tu!..

Ok....gd luck..and take care...eee nervous giler!!!....(dan jantungku berdegup-degap...tidak sekencang masa mula2 bertentang mata ngan ayah.....eeee...ape daa...)

Serupa kah?

2 days ago as I was just about to enter my car carrying my boy...I heard a makcik calling not far...:

Makcik :."Oiit..gi mana ngan cucu tu????"

Me :..( I turned left..right...she was talking to me?..???)**###!!"...but just waved back to that makcik and smile happily pretending...as it has started to rain..I didn't have the chance to prolong the conversation...

She was just an acquaintance..we always exchange smile.."-
- when I dropped by her stall to buy evening kueh oorr..goreng pisang... or..
- when I accidentally looked at her before or after buying my groceries at nearby shop..

But today..she was indeed trying to make a friendly conversation....

...Serupakah aku?...Entah dari sudut mana??...

p/s:..Yang..that was funny tickling me...

Yang nak diceritakan...

Nak tulis musti ade mood...ade perasaan...( quoting kata2 penulis buku biodata Jeanne - Isteri PM..I saw this in a slot of Wanita Hari ini...)

Tapi ini bukan biodata....

Ini kesah hidup seharian, harapan, impian dan curahan perasaan...berkongsi rasa..dan cerita buat yg sudi mendengar dan berkomunikasi

ape..ape lah...

(cuaca di luar, agak gelap walupun baru kol 240ptg.hari Khamis 26/3..issshh..nak ujan lebat..kena tutp internet dulu eh....takut kilat...shot lak...jadi penulis merasakan untuk berehat sebentar...)

************************************************************

Friday, 27 Mac 2009, 710pm ( hopefully this one get posted...)

and before I forget....Alfatihah to Allahyarham Zubir Ali...( used to be my fav singer esp when he was with...Harmoni, then He joined R.A.P and Ikhlas Tapi Jauh was once music to my ears too...)..Penantian is my evergreen..enjoy listening...

############################

So the school break has ended....( tipu lah kalu aku tak miss anak-anak yg 2 orang tu....really..when they go away..they took away a piece of me too....Salam KMun And KMas..Kenang Mama dalam doa kalian...)left me ..alone again inthe house..during weekdays..with my baby boy...


Sigh..I went to the clinic today..got few medicines for baby...poor him..has been coughing for the past 3 days...his voice now is quite husky....






(Baby..baru lepas mandi daa..)




as I am writing this..I just put him to bed....lullaby love....be a good boy..becz mama is certainly in the mood of writing..




(Baby yawning away....)


Well...reminiscing back few things ...

1. M1 is busy at my old school's field....training 'lontar peluru' for her coming mssj...and she did call mentioning..she actually saw the green block..he..he...( but so busy with sports....how's preparation for pmr?)







(On the right : Kakak Mun with boy...bedak sejuk time....during last school hols..p/s:...baby cam tak suka je..dicomot-comotkan..hihi...rashes la sayang oii..))





2. M2 is adjusting her new life with her new specs....poor her....she had complaint time and again of her eyesight..and her teacher (during last parent/teache meeting)..that she was always seen sleeping in the class....o..o.. was is becoz of her eyesight....bila rabun....tak leh fokus..tidoq je...



(At the right KMas trying out a cartoon cermin mata - entah mana dia korek dari bakul mainan Maryam....just to get a feeling camana rupa kalu pakai kacamata...hihi!)



But now, no excuse (At the left : KMas enjoying her layang2 session with ayah at pantai Jeram before curfue time of her asrama...)



ok..K.mas....hopefully u cd adjust well....and is it true that..rabun boleh dikaitkan dengan keturunan....oopss..sorry ayah...jgn kecik hati eh!!!...but I told Mas, it's not easy wearing specs around....among others..some people tend to forget the whereabout of their specs....eg: Ayah: "..Eh!..ade nampak cermin mata kita?".....( manalah kita nak tau...where u people put ur glasses..)..all the best dear...muga2 ade improvement to ur well being..

3.
M3 came back just now : " Mama, Sarah kena berdiri luar kelas tadi..."..
mama:" huh?..kenapa?"
m3: "Sarah terlupa bawak kertas jawapan periksa Bm Penulisan...tapi Sarah rasa dah letak dlm beg mlm tadi..."
And mama just remembered few minutes before her school bus came this afternoon..I had taken the paper out fr her bag...without telling her...becoz last night I was too tired and sleepy to go thru the answer with her..so I thought I wd do that this afternoon..alamak....mama too efficient???
Mama: "..REal sorry Sarah...mama bawak keluar tadi..lupa nak ckp ngan Sarah..."
m3:.."Alaaaa..mama..ni...."...
And we hugged each other..I saw tears in her eyes..( she probably ashamed just now at her school..)..and I promised to her that I wd never do that again....even kalu habuk korek pensel pun..mama akan beritau Sarah ok...

4. m4 was sick last week.....coughed...sore throat..(agaknya ...sebab tu ..baby terkena batuk this week lak...)...but she came back this week..scored A for all her test..Alhamdulillah...and she came back just now also..feeling angry and confused of her school time table..
m4: :Mama, Iyam pelik la....kenapa Harini pun ade tasmiq...balik 630ptg....?"
SO mama said..." Kan Iyam yg bagi mama surat dr cikgu semalam...starting yesterday...djh1 balik kol 630..."
I guess..she was just tired......selalu benar tertidor dlm bas sekolah...mujur pakcik bas..sabar nak tunggu dia terkedek-kedek turun dr bas...

Those were few things happening to my kids...


(latest pic of baby and moi..on the way to G**bak Medical Centre...follow up appt with My gynae and baby doc...injection for 3 mth's old laa....)



AS for me...managed to get a few pills+pain killer+ calcium for my sakit lutut/radang sendi.....well..doctor kata..it cd be arthritis .......Also...I am yet to learn all about pelvic floor mucsle...cause of its injury and weakening....( mind u..after this 5th childbirth....something is just not right there..I regret a bit for not going to my fav gynae this time around...at Amp*** Pu****)......any specific remedy my friend.??..the kegel exercise took me ages laaaaa....ape tu...kayu serapt la..majakani la...binari la...what do u think?

**************************

on 5th march

Then : Maryam 3 months old

Ok..my dear Maryam yang masih lagi manja....here is ur turn lak...hari tu mama wish bday untuk Sarah..so here...:

Now: Maryam 7 years old

Happy 7th Birthday my little princess..( though not little anymore..)...

All our prayers darling sweet....Kenang Daku Dalam Doamu juga....

Used to be the youngest..she is especially known for one who wants to be first all the time..even if when we're back from outing...she'd quickly ran down from the car and stand in front of the door to be unlocked...Once ayah sengaja nak nyakat dia..and ayah stood infront of her...not letting her in..and she merajuk all night..no night-night kiss for ayah..( shian tol!)..Also..Kak Long pun turun berlari-lari sama nak ddiri depan pintu...and she kalah..dan merajuk nangis..juga...aduhai...ramai lak yang suka menyakat nih!

Also, in a car, she at times wd complain..why wd the motorcylist always infront of our car..at traffic..and ayah kata..laa....itu pun tak boleh kah?..Shian ayah yg hari2 pi kerja naik motor...

KNowing kids..like to 'berlumba'...I think she is so like that...in class..in school's concert...she normally make sure follow the rule one....one thing ..ok lah..good fighting spirit..on another thing..slow down sayang....becoz she'd got frustrated..and cengeng if things turn the other way round..

And she is as helpful as Maisarah too...cuma kekadang basuh pinggan..ade mengelat sket!!..also...so sayang the baby boy...waa...a caring sistah!

And Maisarah sometimes said, why ma....kalu mama tanya sarah soalan..dia pun nak jawab....hihi!!

I guess...she just doesn't want to be left out...would u agree???..We all love u Maryam...Celebration later ok!!

*************************************

Received cal from Klong juga...syukur..

M1 : Mama, guess what..kakak kat stadium larkin..

Mama : Huh! Wat ape tu?

M1: yeay..yeay..baru menang gold medal lontar peluru sukan skola men daerah jb.....sorry ma..stf kalah!!...tapi ..skola kitorang tak dpt masuk final bola jaring ( she is playing GD under-15)..kalah ngan S.e.t.a...sebelum dpt lawan stf..ooo..yess..sukan skolah tahun ni..rumah akak menang..rumah hijau.....( yes..go green go.....sama ngan mama juga....)

Mama:.waa.....Alhamdulillah...what's next?(..she ..so..like to compare her school with mine..tak pe lah...kasi can..)

M1: Ade schedule untuk msd..if lepas..mssj...

Mama:..woit..sukan sakan lak...so how do u feel..

M1: best sgt ma...and now tengah enjoy tengok acara lari-lari...kuat gak dak stf...tapi akak lebih thrill tengok abang-abang lari-lari...dan rsa mcm dpt rase ape yang mama cerita..zaman mama sibuk ikut orang pi stadium larkin...makan ais krim roti kongsi2...cuci2 mata...

mama:....@#???....amboi!...hahaha!!..( yeap..I used to love following my school frens to the stadium..watching sports event...alahai..tak kira asal dpt outing lah!..and I was never good in sports too...I survived hockey team just few first month of form one..issh..tak larat lari satu padang hoki weh!!....and selalu ponteng gi latihan hoki petang2 lepas prep....lama2 senior pun drop le mama...tak leh pakai hihi!!..and one more thing that I hate most during my secondary sch years was to run around the school compound....satu penyeksaan...)..and I do believe only those with big hearts that cd pump in much more oxygen wd excel in sports...plus those who hae extra special muscle..leg or hand etc...

M1:..Mama, nanti akak cal lagi eh!..tata...lov. so much

********************************
and I love today!....gd night you all....I am much better in spirit!!

no news..

Yeap..as the saying goes....no news is a good news... see u when I see you...it is March already..how fast time flies....and the only thing that is constant is change....a lot of thinking lately...much time still occupied with the lil' baby..and some time back I remember one of my friends'magic equation ~ e=mc2....what the h**k?..can somebody pls elaborate..or simply means..to make things happen..requires energy..or what eh?...mind u..I am not from a pure science background...and I certainly need energy ....my two little gals are having their first 2009 school test this week...( and I wonder what Klong and Kngah are doing, right now..?)..and yeap..school hols is just around the corner..yeepee...

gals at the park..

So we had a short stress free time at the park last weekend.......and then my gal snapped my photo without even looking the back scenario..hihi! dunno who's that guy behind..


c u! and me in deep thinking...and still as thirsty as ever..

Just the four of us..

It was raining like cats and dogs outside...and time was running fast..

"going or not?"...." can we make it?"..

We only have each other..actually three.. because the little one is not independent yet!!.

Maisarah and maryam , each has their own agenda..own wish list....

Whereas mama...the grocery list..must count in..her favourite beverage..( mind u...breast feeding does not stop me from enjoying it!...nescafee....Hi Ch' Ani of Irshad......buzz me if u read this!)..

I had to bathe my baby first..so that I won't be that tired after coming back from the shop...

WE desperately need to go to the shop just to buy some few important and must buy things...ayah has to be excused...( while I am writing this, ayah is still in his office..struggling for the dateline..I presume...)..

Earlier on, maryam was given the task to jot down the list while Maisarah finishing her last bit of bm homework....

I opened the gate, started the engine..put baby beside me...(alamak..dah start nangis pulak..)

M3 switched off the lights, tv, the fan and locked the door..

M4 held the main gate..

And baby cried..all the way.....(aduhai!!!)

Arrived at the shop shortly...put the baby next to my shoulder..( oh..nasib baik dan tak nangis..)

The 2 girls helped me with all the things needed....mama paid at the counter while baby started to cry again....( he wanted to sleep....laaa...tadi mama puas dodoi kat rumah ..tak mau tido'..sabar je lah...)..and he made everyone in the shop looked at us as if it was one of the heavy drama scene...M3 and m4 carried all the groceries beg..

I had to singgah kedai Kak Mah too..just to get my favourite curry mee...and Kmah greeted baby:

"Baby...awatnya nangis ni..laparg kah????..."..

Then we had to stop by the stationery shop ..(ape lagi..budak2 ni..nak beli colour lah..pemadam lah....etc..kunun semua dah exhaustive..next week ujian bulanan...kena ready alat tulis....)

Quickly we went back...and alhamdulillah..we made it home despite few obstacles...

All mama wanted to say here is : thx so much to my two little girls...

I used to think they are still small..especially when the two eldest came back from their school...

But now...I know I can depend on them.....Alhamdulillah...I am so grateful...I am not alone getting through all this having-new-baby experience..

And perhaps..that is also the reason..ayah knows I can handle the situation...(though at times rasa macam ibu tunggal lak...and the least I wanted to do is to burden him with the groceries' list either)...he is the breadwinner....(amboi..naik manja lah yeee....u shd be lucky la ayah..never see u iron baju lagi sekarang jugak...and lemak berkati-kati..bertepu-tepu...)..ooh..yes...and ayah had to stay back to make up for the days he took mc few days ago..fell of from his bike...left some scars and bruises....( oo..my....Allah is so grateful..He still make my hubby..safe and sound..alhamdulillah..even though kaki terdengkot-dengkot....)..and I just do not want to think of the other way round..not yet!!...

It was just a small test...to see my other half in pain...not so him...

That remind me of my friend 'Helza'...she is a strong woman....taking care of her 4 boys...alone...but I know and pray ..Allah showers her with all His strengths and Kindness...I had one posting for her somewhere in 2008 : this

Remind me of ayah's pesan..: "Kalu boleh..minta tolong dengan anak-anak..mana yang boleh..."..He knows very well..that I am the type who like to do everything by myself....never want to bother others....(pas tu bila penat..tensen lah pulak!!)

Leaving me with smile in my heart..eventhough I miss our family time..but we still have each other to offer help..to ease...

Tata! I hope you all have smile (plural) in your heart this weekend..

Fatamorgana

Pulanglah pada tuhan,
Cahaya kehidupan,
Syarat bahagia di dunia,
Akhirat kekal selamanya,
Pada Allah..... Allah.....,

Sudah menjadi lumrah kehidupan di dunia,
Cabaran dan dugaan mendewasakan usia,
Rintangan dilalui tambah pengalaman diri,
Sudah surat ketetapan illahi,

Deras arus dunia menghayutkan yang terleka,
Indah fatamorgana melalaikan menipu daya,
Dikejar dicintai bak bayangan tak bertepi,
Tiada sudahnya dunia yang dicari,

Begitu indah dunia siapa pun kan tergoda,
Harta, pangkat dan wanita melemahkan jiwa,
Tanpa iman dalam hati kita kan dikuasai,
Syaitan nafsu dalam diri musuh yang tersembunyi,

Pulanglah kepada tuhan,
Cahaya kehidupan,
Keimanan, ketaqwaan kepada-Nya,
Senjata utama.

Sabar menempuh jalan,
Tetapkan iman di hati,
Yakin dengan janji tuhan,
Syurga yang sedia menanti,

Imanlah penyelamat,
Dunia penuh pancaroba,
Hidup akhirat,
Kita kekal bahagia.......

Tibalah penyelamat,
Dunia penuh pancaroba,
Hidup akhirat,
Kita kekal bahagia......

Di sudut Kamar Hatiku

Di Sudut Kamar Hatiku - Jamal Abdillah




resah hatiku merinduimu
terbayang bayang anggun senyum dan tawa mu
baru semalam rasanya bagai setahun
pemergian mu tak tertanggung

indah suasana kita kita bersama
siang dan malam seolah didalam syurga
cintamu itu cinta yang setulus jiwa
di mana ku cari gantinya...

telah ku lupa detik hitam selamanya
yang menodai cinta kita
tidak terdaya menahan takdirnya
engkau abadi didalam jaga

c/o
sepi dunia didalam riuh rendahnya
pedih jiwaku tanggung derita
patah hati ku
kesalan tiada terhingga
kau satu dalam berjuta

kepada tuhan tempat ku taruh harapan
engkau selamanya dalam bahagia
cintamu itu biarku kenanginya
di sudut kamar hatiku........

m3 turns 9...

Last Saturday was my m3' s birthday....who is m3?..As all of my broods' names begin with M so we..long ago..shall assign each member with their corresponding numbering..and thus Miss M3 is the third daughter of ours and she is Maisarah...born 21/2/2000...a strong pieces by zodiac...in dragon year of chinese calendar...


She woke up quite early that morning forgetting that it was her birthday...got bathe and came to my room....:

M3 : " Mama, Sarah dah mandi..boleh mama buatkan nestum...perut Sarah lapar la..."

Mama : " Happy Bday Sarah..wah!..Bagus lah hari ni..Sarah bangun awal dan dah mandi pun..." normally..she wd spend hours of her saturday morning in front of the pc...

M3: " Huh! Bday Sarah!"...Mama tak de ape2 ke untuk Sarah?"

And just when I wanted to open my mouth she already ran to her ayah:

M3 : "Ayah, jom kita jalan2 dan beli kek..dan..errr...permainan.."

Ayah: : " Huh!..jln2 boleh..beli permainan tak boleh! Sebab Sarah dah besar....." said ayah followed by a kiss on her forehead and hugs...

So off we went spending the day eating out and bought her cake.( which is not so bad...and half still in the freezer...tak berapa manis pulak...entah kenapa..so mama tak tau berapa lama lebihan kek itu akan berada dlm peti ais..kalau m1 dan m2 ade..sudah tentu dah habis licin...and Maryam pun being the sweet tooth pun kata kek Sarah ..rasanya..boleh la...)..and ayah had bought her, her lonng wish of a scooter......she loves it very much..even though masa kat counter nak bayar...she secretly whispered to mama that she also like to have a new barbie doll....(.but ayah kata tak payah....again and again!)...hihi!..muka 10sen lepas tu...

As she grow older...I can see she has starting to grow and have few beautiful personality...helpful is one thing about her so far...study wise, she is the one who constantly need extra coaching...overall I am just so blessed!..oo..yes...she is one with a strong physical too...a bit lasak laa...( She has pleaded to ayah to join tae-kwon-do but ayah kata tunggu next year lah..)one who is also very sentimental....and kalu visitors datang dan nak balik..dia pulak yg cepat nak nangis...she is affectionate..still nak manja2 ngan ayah...

Okay Maisarah..u might not understand all the meanings above but as of now..just belief that mama and ayah love u so much...as usual..all the prayers in the world from all of us.....Kenang Daku Dalam Mu....Be anak Solehah.., Insya'allah...

p/s:...She had quite a rough day on Sunday learning Maths with ayah..and she secretly told me...never ever want to ask ayah again.....shian dia...

Maksud yang sama??

Semalam malam Maisarah tanya pada mama tentang maksud beberapa perumpamaan Bahasa Melayu, antaranya yang buat mama agak keliru sket.....

1) Tak dapat rotan akar pun berguna

2) Dah dapat gading bertuah, tanduk tidak berguna lagi...

Yang pertama tu mama kata sudah tentulah kalu kita hendakan satu barang tapi setelah penat dicari dapat jugak barang lain yang hampir serupa dengan yang dihajatkan tadi:
Contoh ayat:
Sarah tidak perlu membeli buku log baru untuk Persatuan Puteri Islam kerana dia masih boleh menggunakan buku log kepunyaan kakaknya yang masih banyak lagi ruang muka surat yang kosong.


Yang kedua tu ibarat seseorang memperoleh satu benda yang kini lebih baik nilainya dari yang terdahulu:-
Contoh ayat:
Apabila ayah menghadiahkan basikal yang baru kepada Sarah, beliau tidak lagi memerlukan basikal yang dahulu yang sudahpun kecil untuknya.

Tapi selepas tu sebelum menutup mata, mama teringat kedua-dua peribahasa di atas kalu diteliti atau di amati betul-betul. Iaitu kedua-duanya menggunakan 2 objek, yang baru dan lama samada yang kurang elok atau lebih elok...

Hi..entahlah....fikiran mama pun melayang.....macam-macam...hendak ditulis di sini nanti karang panjang berjela pulak rajuk mama pada ayah...

Merajuk pada yang sayang...tapi kalu dah tua-tua macam ni..merajuk pun orang dah tak perasan dah..atau mungkin sudah selalu sangat merajuk...orang dah tak terlayan...

Sesungguhnya rezeki , ajal, maut dan segalanya adalah ketentuan Ilahi..bersyukur...bersyukur....life is much more than just thinking about one's own feelings....problem must be countered with a solution.... and the other person is worth more than you might ever think of...komunikasi biar jelas..biar jelas...biar jelas..

Dan seperti biasa..kalu rase macam tak best aje..mama akan buka radio...untuk tenang2kan diri..tetiba keluar lak lagu kegemaran mama ni:-

Mengapa dirindu - Uji Rashid

Anak punai anak merbah
Terbang turun buat sarang
Anak sungai pun berubah
Ini pula hati orang
Mengapa dikenang

Asal kapas jadi benang
Dari benang dibuat baju
Barang lepas jangan kenang
Sudah jadi orang baru
Mengapa dirindu

Kasih yang dulu tinggal dalam mimpi
Kasih yang baru simpan di hati
Kasih yang dulu tinggal dalam mimpi
Kasih yang baru simpan di hati

Selat teduh lautan tenang
Banyak labuh perahu Aceh
Jangan kesal jangan kenang
Walau hati rasa pedih
Mengapa bersedih

Kalau pinang masih muda
Rasanya kelat sudahlah pasti
Kalau hilang kasih lama
Cari lain untuk ganti
Mengapa dinanti

Patah 'kan tumbuh hilang berganti
Akan sembuh kalau diubati
Patah 'kan tumbuh hilang berganti
Akan sembuh kalau diubati

Sayang mengapa dirindu