To my friend who has lost her husband

My Dear Helza,

You will not, I hope, think me intrusive at such time if I write a few lines to tell you of my deep sympathy and sorrow for your bereavement.

Nothing that one can say in such circumstances can adequately express the feelings which all entertain for you, but it will be some little consolation for you to remember even in your deep grief that your hubby was so greatly loved and respected by us all, and that we sincerely mourn the loss of a friend who had endeared himself to every one......Alfatihah.. I enclosed here an excerpt of my friend's blog who had known your husband : wanshana ( article entitle : apolitical no more...hope u don't mind shana..)..in one of her postings :-

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.....A friend of Ayah's just passed away 2 hours ago. He was 40 years old. He finally succumbed to colon cancer which was only diagnosed less than 2 months ago.......He left behind a wife, and 4 small kids - the youngest being 3 years old.........May you rest in peace, Jim - Allahyarham Zulkifli Muhammadun (1968-2008)...AlFatihah....

...and Helza was calm that night..

Here is her husband's comment ( in reply to my comment) :-

Arwah Zul M was one of the nicest person I had known...A very good Muslim, who never uttered a bad word about anyone. I was with him the night before. We had a good chat. He was being himself..in his usual high spirit.

We have indeed lost a truly remarkable friend. Sama2lah kita doakan agar roh arwah dicucuri rahmat dan ditempatkan bersama orang2 yg beriman...

See, Helza, your husband was famously known as a very nice muslim..I am sure isn't this what all of us been hoping..to be remembered in the nicest way when we are gone...My prayers that his/your generations and ours follow suit...and as we have known each other since Abr** days..I know you are strong..remember u were also the one who had given me support during my grief over the demise of my mother..


I loss my dear mother due to the same cancer. I was with her performing umrah in Mecca when the doctor said she has just another few months after the operation but she survived almost a year.. She was a survivor until the end of her life...It wasn't easy carrying her around on a wheel chair..I guess that time it was Allah strength that had made me strong...Remembering her endless cried at night of the pain, boredom of swallowing pills, bloated stomach and knees for water retention..(cancer had spread to her liver), calling after her dear ones when nearing her death...I surely know the feeling taking care of our dear ones...each time counting minutes..not sure whether I had done enough to lessen the pain...or even worse..sleepless night...scared of i'd be dozed long enough without having the chance to see her the next morning...I miss her so much..still am..but as I mentioned in my sms to u..Allah has his plans...he has promised test to each and every one of us...Be strong my friend..

Also, my dear daddy left us behind for stomach cancer...again and again during his days..asked me to take care of my children..take care....take care...that last touch on my cheek was actually his last touch...a father to her daughter...still miss him..

I hope..you are strong..and do not let grief take over you for a long time as it did to me...


I was quite worried as u didn't reply any of my calls and sms...but later the next evening pop up this sms of urs (and I am very relief.).:-

Thx K.ita. I'm ok. Pls pray for Allah to give me strength to take care of the 4 zuls...

Later in another reply to my sms when asking how are the boys doing...u replied:-

Ok. 1st excellent.2nd demam. 3rd refuse going to school. But its ok. Stil in tadika. 4th stop asking for Zul coz t answer is still t same.Alhamdulilah..Slowly adjusting..

You will, I trust, pardon my suggestion that if I can in any way be of assistance to you in your trouble you have but to tell me.

Trusting that time may serve to lessen your great sorrow, and heal the terrible wound you have sustained, I am, with true sympathy...

Insy'Allah..both of you shall be reunited again in Jannah..


Salam Kaseh sayang....K.Eta

p/s: I am adult orphan...that left me with a husband...for me to confide in many things. ...I'd rather not say here of my worries if the same thing happen...so from now on..I am saying to myself..to appreciate my partner...cherish the love..for as long as we'r still together..Merajuk pada yang sayang..Berkasih pada yang sudi...