Happy 6th bday..

To my dear lil' princess..aka..Mak Su Iyam...

Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to you
Happy Birthday to Maryam
HAppy Birthday to you

And yesterday...mama's day was really occupied with your goodie bags..and piza bread for your classmates...bread pudding for your neighbours' friends as well...

Remembering today at 4.45pm in 2002...you were so sweet..that mama immediately forgot all the pain...and was the only one who cd never accept the pacifier..despite how many attempts...and you were very close to me..that ayah at times feel at loss whenever mama was away even for a little time..say ..pi kedai..as you're just not the 'bottle' type...

U woke up very cheerful and that's my girl...no more...hu..hu ..manja...manja..ok!

And still no bday cake...kan kita dah kata nak tunggu kakak2 and buy one this special cake..hopefully ayah tak lupa..

All my hugs and kisses for you Maryam..and like any other mummy...all prayers too..for your good health..

...perjalanan masih jauh anakku...

being the smallest from the rest mama hope you will look up to your sisters...follow the good examples..ok..anak solehah...make mama and ayah proud...

Kenang Daku Dalam doamu..

And on why your name is not spelled as mariyam..becoz Maryam..taking after Nabi Isa's Mother's name...may u carry all the strength and beauty..

RM 25.90...

That was it...I lost a RM25.90 battle over my kid's school shoes..and I'm pretty mad.. actually..very mad at this 'one person'..that i swear...come rain or shine..that wd be my last visit to his shop..and I'd swear..my generation would either!

I bought m3 school shoes yesterday...as a birthday present and also to replace her worn shoes bought 2 years ago...i did not realize actually the shoe's magnet actually is not 'up-to'..but when i got home yesterday my instinct just feel 'not-right' as the box looked a little funny..

I quickly wipe 'shoe-white' on it..so that it'd dry fast ..and I think I did saw that the buckle was somehow funny as well..but I was not that clever ..continue to finish the wiping..leave them dry.. ..hopefully m3 wd get to wear them.

Today around 1 pm, m3 complained that she cd not buckle the magnet..'dah patah'.. broken..luckily she still has another shoe which she doesn't quite like...sebab tapak dah haus....

La..I was...$#@*?!!!!

I went back straight to the shop after sending m3 to her school together with goodie bags for her classmate...

I showed the shoes to the 'pakcik'..but becoz I had wipe them with show white..that 'pakcik' arrogantly denied my request for an exchange...grumbling and nagging over the loss and other losses that he had suffered becoz many parents request for exchange...

He nagged...on and on..

I cd feel that I am losing my temper..so I said:-

Me: " Pakcik..saya pelanggan tetap...sejak duduk sini saya..rasa hampir 4 tahun..macam2 kelengkapan sekolah saya beli di sini..baju pengakap, puteri islam, kasut, beg, baju sekolah, baju dalam, topi, selipar,tudung..,anak tudung...dsg...ini kasut ..saya rasa pakcik saje tak perasan..masukkan dalam kotak ..yang dah koyak hujung ni...jual pada orang..entah2..ni kasut reject..pakcik ..saje jual..kot-kot pelanngan tak perasan dan malas nak susah-payah pulang..jadi pakcik untung le....lepas tu... pakcik...bising tentang kerugian..tentang orang lain yang buat pakcik rugi...Ini rm 25.90...rm25.90!..berbaloi kah dengan jumlah untung pada barang lain yang saya dah beli!!!( Ape lak nak jawab pada Ayah!..ini pakcik tak mau kasi tukar kasut!!)...My heart beat faster...

Pakcik: "Tak boleh tukar!..Saya dah rugi banyak!

For few seconds..I was speechless...(ape ni???? I said to myself!!)..tried hard not to burst my anger..

Me: Tak pe lah pakcik..simpan je lah kasut ni.....kiralah untung pakcik banyak2!! Jgn lupa ..ade 2 lagi kedai kasut baru buka kat sini.......( there goes my big mouth!)..Was i rude?

I went away..with all the 'not-nice' feelings..I was frustrated...I think I just let the pakcik won...I think it's just not worth arguing with that st**born old gr**y man..I am sorry..I am damned angry becoz I've lost my right as a consumer ....why wouldn't I stand for my right?..chic ken!!!
I am angry for my foolishness....

I loss RM25.90..real lot that I cd use it instead for a couple of magazines/story books for my kids..or even..over a very delicious couple of KFC dinner plate..hu..hu...

But actually..when i think back..its the principle or attitude or to be exact ,his way of conducting the biz..that had annoyed me..

I abhor the incident!..really!!

The morale is...pls recheck your item..keep the receipt..in case u need to return them...if they are shoes..remember do not splash them with shoe white unless double check they are perfectly ok...

I am poorer today by RM25.90..sorry for me being so emotional...( but I least I think I had managed to get the message across to him...or maybe he just couldn't careless...)

Kasih, kekasih

Slot Alkulliyah di TV3 Jumaat yang lalu mengupas satu topik yang cukup menarik bagiku dan aku pasti untuk sekelian insan di muka bumi ini...

Dimulai dengan pengenalan erti kasih, kekasih dan siapa yang berhak dikasih serta yang paling penting..

Kasih dan cinta pada yang satu..Allah u Rabbi..Ar Rahman ArRahim..Ini ynag paling utama..seharusnya...

Kasih Ibu kepada anak2nya....tidak akan terbalas oleh anak2nya

Kasih anak kepada Ayah Ibunya.........

Cinta pasangan Suami Isteri

Cinta sesama insan dan segenap makhluk di muka bumi ini...

Mengakhiri slot hari itu adalah jawapan dari penceramah kepada beberapa soalan antaranya iaitu:-

"Bagaimana mahu mengekalkan kasih sayang di antara pasangan suami isteri?"

• Nilailah pasangan pada perkara yang baik-baik sahaja..walaupun ade kekurangan kerana setiap insan begitulah kejadiannya...jangan dicari2 kelemahan...jangan diungkit2 kesilapan serta perbaiki kesilapan dengan teguran yang paling berkhidmah...Ibarat percaya pada kehebatan Allah..hebat juga pasangan anda...sudah pasti cinta bertaut berkekalan hingga ke akhir hayat..
  

• Pamirkan pada pasangan anda perkara yang baik2 juga..try to impress..always try...ibarat seperti baru bercinta....harum dan wangi...menarik sentiasa...

"Bolehkah cinta pada suami tapi minat pada lelaki lain???"

• Minat kerana apakah?..why minat..? boleh minat contohnya..minat kerana bentuk penyampaian ceramahnya...cara percakapan..cara berhujah....tetapi awas!!!! jangan lebih-lebih..nanti pasangannya cemburu....tak baik!!!

Kupasan topik begitu bernas..tapi sayang...satu jam..sesungguhnya tidak memadai....walaubagaimanpun..satu pengisian rohani buat diriku ..yang aktiviti seharian..hanya berkisar pada rumahtangga...anak-anak dan suami...and I long for an evening with old friends..over teh tarik and roti canai perhaps..I do miss just hanging out with friends during those lunch time..exchanging stories..jokes..gossippss???....loneliness kills...

Didalam setiap perjalanan hidup kita..pasti kita akan berjumpa dengan mereka-mereka yang berpengalaman tentang soal hidup..tentang cinta...yes ..love is cinta...cinta monyet, cinta remaja..cinta dewasa...

Langsung mengingatkan aku pada perbualan lewat tahun 2004 bersama arwah Prof Muhammad AlMahdi ( Founder of Khalifah Institute)..iaitu..

Your other half is worth more than you could ever think of...respect each other..love each other.....

Itu juga mengingatkan aku pada bait-bait tulisan warkah arwah ayahandaku apabila membalas warkahku dari perantauan..(tatkala memohon restu bagi sebuah persahabatan) membicarakan tentang perkara-perkara yang perlu difikirkan sebelum memberi kata putus pada bakal suami..sebelum membuat keputusan..

• Sejauh mana dia menghormati kita
• Pernahkah dia mencegah ataupun menghalangi Eta dari mendapat sesuatu
• Bagaimana kerjasama Eta dengan dia dalam sesuatu perkara
• Apa reaksi Eta terhadap keputusan keputusan yang dia buat
• Bagaimana pula halnya tentang urusan keewangan
• Apakah dia seorang yang suka memperendah-rendahkan martabat kaum wanita
• Bagaimana pengaruh keluarga dia dalam hal ini
• Bagaimana hak-hak Eta sebagai suri rumah tangga

Diakhir kalam ayah menambah :

Self-sacrifice and forbearance are the passwords to happiness in married life

Indeed self-sacrifice and forbearance are representative of our religion that we profess very assuredly. They head a big family of new virtues, economy, sobriety, and steadiness in social relations and patience and sweetness of temper in private relations. There will be no chance of friction between the husband and wife who practise them, and absence of friction means that the machinery is running smoothly....

Ayahbonda merestui pilihan Eta semoga bahagia sampai ke anak cucu....penghujung warkah yang cukup berharga dan bermakna buat diriku pada sekitar hujung 1990...

Itulah sebagagian kasih daripada ibubapa kepada anaknya....dan aku pasti tiada tandingan...tidak akan terbalas...dan lagu ayah dan ibu dendangan Allahyarham Sudirman Hj Arshat menusuk kalbuku...serta lagu Gerimis semalam dendangan Seila Majid..menggerimiskan hatiku...dalam kerinduan yang tidak akan pernah padam ...selamanya...buat kedua2 arwah ayhbondaku..( I am sorry my hubby..my father was the most beloved man in my life...u don't mind, do u?...) AlFAtihah...

and I love strawberry....


and I love to remember all those people who had crossed my path..who had bring great joy and happiness to my life this so far..

Its the same tune again...

Nooo..its not the mozart sonata..or others like the one to my left..(..he..he..must be my kid itchy hand ..cut and paste to my desktop!) )....never like to remember the notes during music class..( but my friend..K***..always win our music teacher's heart.....Hi Km*r..I bet your kids love playing the piano) when the time comes..the tune wd be played over and over again on the media..

I think becoz I have heard it sooo..many times..( as fas as my mind cd remember..ar since...7 yrs old...eemmm..maybe earlier...) that the lyric is still fresh in my mind..wwoooaaa...if only I cd remember those history dates..maths equation.accounting standards...geography...theories during my school times..what more those science formula...lucky I never belong to those pure science class.. and am hoping one of my generation wd love to study science..)..That means...(Makna kata..in malay)...if your kids were played those 'lullaby'..time and many a time..again and again...ooo..multimedia effect le ni..hello IT people, this is correct right!..correct! correct!

So oblige to ur country my friends....do your duty...

'''....marila mari..pergi mengundi..tunaikanla kewajipan pada negara....la..la..la..la..la"

But its just a week a way..why am I so excited about it...Ooo..ok..maybe..its the school holidays that I am looking forward... kot...

Ok..Happy Friday..Have a nice weekend!!!Tra..

A truly flourishing life is impossible without paid employment

Sitting in front of the home pc....trying to ease off this headache...unfortunately there's no actifast or ponstan..(was told not to take any without the gastric pill...what to do!)..

Trying to focus on the subject but many a times... on and off.. been asked by the kids on this and that ..(their homework!!...mmm..spoon feeding!!again)..well talk about the obligations of a non-working mother...If only I could escape..but surely I'd feel guilty..( duduk kat rumah..takkan le tak bule tengok2kan homework budak2...well there goes my inner speach) and feel like writing something but the mind was just 'still'....beku!saturated!!

Remember this one article read in the newspaper..(some time in 2006)..just a phrase that means a lot :

"A truly flourishing life is impossible without paid employment"

And think it'd be best if I draft first...and perhaps search for the article which I think must be somewhere in the basket of my newspaper cuttings..(yeapp...no body touches mama's paper cuttings please!!!..mind u!)..and this subject is to be continued..sorry guys...

oo yes, just found the review..if u like to read and comment ..ta ta!

p/s: But then again...my inner speach....to be continued..

M3 turns 8 today...

Assalamualaikum Sarah..

Hari ni B'day Sarah le...Happy 8th Birthday...Insya'Allah when all kakaks are here for the coming school holidays nanti , kita pi beli kek ok..and insya'allah we shall have a little 'surprise' for you my dear..

PANJANG UMURNYA (2X), PANJANG UMURNYA SERTA MULIA ,SERTA MULIA. ALLAH SELAMATKAN KAMU (2X), ALLAH SELAMATKAN MAISARAH, ALLAH SELAMATKAN KAMU..

And time flies so fast....feel like just yesterday Mama had those labour pain and u were safely born on 21.2.2000 at A****G P***** Hospital...a crying baby..(used to be)..Funny .from you were born until at least 1 year old...u never fail to cry whenever we were on a journey in ayah's car..what was wrong..we simply don't know...once on our trip to balik kampung. poor ayah had to stop by the r&r just to pasang ur buai and ayah patiently trying to sooth u down..lullabying..and at the time ..for sure u know what had happen to mama...(he he..grumpy me)...and those memories shall stay with mama..infact with KMoon and KShua as well...and back then u were fondly name as Lala..or actually short form of Melalak..(omit the k and become Lala).Ok sayang U are now 8 years old...Mama shall always pray for you to be a good servant to our Creator and be granted with wisdom to know the difference and be protected always...so more be loved by all mankind..and as always...

Kenang Daku Dalam Doamu

M4 first visit to the dentist

She finished her scramble egg quite a lot than usual that morning..nervous actually after being told that we are bringing her to the dentist to pull out her very first tooth..as the real 'gigi' has for about two weeks showing off its presence right behind her baby tooth..

At the dentist, as usual, being Maryam, jumping up and down waiting impatiently for her turn. Little did she know that its going to be her first 'small pain' experience.When the nurse called out her name, she grabbed ayah's hand and went straight into the 'surgery' room...waiving to mama..nevermind mama could wait outside..(u've your superdaddy with u..)

After 20 minutes..she came out..already had the gauze fixed between her lips...pity her..

Mama: " Yam Ok...?"..Sakit sikit je kan..Brave girl..

Maryam: ...Just nodded her head..but I cd see tears at the corner of her eyes.

Ayah : " She said: "Bila doktor cucuk jarum..doktor buat yam sakit....""..She's ok la..

Few times...mama need to change her gauze...ishh..shian ni...

Later ayah belanja ice-cream...Alhamdulillah and Maryam is jumping up and down again..in her room start to write down something on a piece of paper..Oooo...she's writing to her big sisters and reminded mama to post the letter tomorrow...

And Maryam's smile ..from today onwards..would be different from her last smile..when she posed in front of her kakak..during the last school holidays...

Letter from a parent

My Dear Angles,

This is the first letter I have written to you since you left home to begin the new period of your life at school, and I think that perhaps it will serve to impress upon you still more distinctly the importance of much that I have said to you of late. I know that intentionally you will cause us no disappointment with regard to your conduct or your studies, but you are still very young, and know nothing of the temptations with which youth is best, nor of th evils which arise in after life from habits contracted at school under the influence of unprincipled associates.

It is my earnest hope that you may choose for your own friends clever and industrious girls, from whom you may learn how to combine accuracy and expedition in your work with proficiency in all manly sports and games. But I would rather that your friends were not brilliant and unable to be of worldly service to you than that they were clever and unprincipled.

Education is a most important thing, but its object is the formation of character rather than the acquisition of learning, and morals far outweigh Latin and Greek. I shall be proud if you could become a fine scholar, but heart broken if you are not a good individual.

So, my dear angle, I beg you to avoid everything that our Alquran and your conscience warn you is not right. You will find there all that you need to enable you to decide if you are compelled to make a choice between two lines of conduct; if, while you are still little, you find yourself uncertain after prayer, then write to me and you shall have the best advice that a very loving mother can give you.

Whatever you are doing, whether it is work or play, put your whole heart into it and do your best, according to the rules. You may not always be successful, but you can always be faithful, and while the world crowns "success," it is Allah who crowns "faithfulness." Do your duty to Him and aim at becoming a good Muslim, and all will be well.

Never waste your time. Make a point finding something to do, and do it hard. Indolence is about the worst habit a man can form, and remember, too, that doing nothing is not the only way of wasting time. It may do you even more harm, for instance, to read pernicious literature. You will doubtless find plenty of books in the school library. Read history and biography, both for instruction and amusement, and if you feel inclined for something lighter, read healthy stories of adventure or tales founded on fact.Whatever it is, so that it is good, read it attentively and methodically, and you will be surprised some day to find how useful a store of general information you have acquired.

There is much that I should like to say, but something of what I omit your good sense will supply. Write to us often and unreservedly. Always look upon us as your best friends, and hide nothing, not even your faults; I have been young, and can make allowances for what youth does, provided it is neither mean nor vicious.
Remember the magic word : "Usaha*Doa*Tawakkal". Until my next letter, take good care dear...

p/s: Your father send his fondest love

Always your affectionate mother,~Etamy~

To Kakak Moon, Kakak Shua, Lala and Iyam, many of the above are excerpts from your Late Tok Wan's letter. ( during mama's school day)..Mama still keep Tok Wan's letter and would love to share all his advices with you all.. You might not be able to have his presence but I can assure you that his many letters and words of wisdom have made mama what I am today..

Was it the food or, the weather or...

It has been almost a week now...my poor Lala & Iyam have been sick, cough and fever..Just when mama thought mama is going to be the supermum taking care of the two..burning the midnite oil..playing the most dedicated nurse..my superman started to give in too...And Allah The Almighty had made me sick too..so who's taking care of who now???what more who's pampering who?..

Was it the food or the weather that make 4 of us experiencing bodily pain...fever etc...

This morning Lala's fever was there again and after two cortal she's already jumping up and down..sheepishly beg me...

Lala : Bole tak, tak payah pi sekolah???Rasa macam demam sikit ni..nanti kat sekolah cuaca panas?
Mama: Alamak! Dah 3 hari tak gi sekolah.Mama rasa dah elok...jap lagi siap ..ok!

Lala: ...eeemmm..Cuba mama telepon ayah...(Ayah is always the rescue!)kot-kot ayah kasi..

So..mama send a quick sms to ayah..and voila..

Ayah replied: Ok la..M3 kan lom sihat lagi...tak yah gi skola..

and there goes my Lala...impatiently waiting for Iyam coming back from Krista..so that she cd enjoyed her afternoon( of which she is supposed to get rest)..and at many a times keep asking me the same question:

Lala: Mama dah sudah kat computer nanti..boleh lah Sarah main game pulak..

And there goes my day...

Creatively been thinking on what's the best dishes this evening...as everybody's appetite at home was badly jeorpadised by the fever or perhaps the side effect of the medicine has made our tougue tasteless...

A liitle test by Allah...reminds me of my late ayah..few months before he passed away....he complained of bitter taste in his mouth..had difficulty in appetite...again and again advised me to enjoy life to the fullest..eat healthily and remember to give sedekah....be grateful for whatever that we're granted today...and I miss u ayah..(like any daughter who yearns to be pamper by his daddy whenever she got sick...)

And again as human..the thought of wanting to be pampered..especially when we are sick justify that we are all human ..with needs

And outside, rain has started to pour..(I love when it rains...)and I'm grateful..at least..with the ccoling effect...it could lessen the irritable me..who had just started on 'Norcolut'...

Recap of 2007 last few days ...and now..

Sentimental I am..but I bet every mother on earth would not want to be parted with their children..and school holidays coming to an end..Moon already had half of her things packed inside boxes which she had succeeded in persuading ayah to buy..While Shua every now and then peep into my room while I was busy repairing her 'jubah' and all clothing for her new school.and Lala was also anxious checking when would her school uniform be ready..and Iyam as usual an attention seeker.

Between those stressful days..I am between the-mother-who-prepare-the-simplest-dishes and the-wife-who-decide-on-the-things-to-buy-and-prepare/budget...and also the-person-who-sleep-like-a-log whenever time permits..We really occupied each other before that very day...

Gone are the days to celebrate Hari Raya Haji. This year mama 'cuti masak'..no lontong..no sambal tumis..no rendang nor ketupat..Ayah had suggested us to join the 'kariah surau' for gotong-royong-korban..and later savour the dishes prepare by the chef..menu i.e. beef soup, fried vege, beef cooked with soya ketchup..and all of us had a good afternoon nap after lunch.Bravo to Kakak Mun for covering mama during 'cutting meat' session..as usual mama is like allergic to the fresh'aroma' of lembu..isshhh mual cam mengandung le pulak!!That's why mama seldom cook red meat..an escape actually as ayah also has to 'berpantang' for his gout cases...shian..But a trip to a boastful steak or lamb chop is always one of my wish list.

Early morning of the 25th Dec (and our neighbour enjoyed the chrismas carol...) we had to flock to Klang for parents; briefing and than straight to Jeram to enrol Kakak Shua..It was raining cats and dogs...alhamdulillah rezeki..and kakak Moon showing her expertise in organising Shua wardrobe...Mama masa kat S*F dulu buat sendiri je...he he..Bye Bye Kakak Shua..Mama hope Kakak Shua could easily adjust yourself with the new environment, new friends..be independent.be patient with all the challenges to be a 'H***zah...Mama tried to control her tears...cool bebeh!

31 Dec..ayah came back late fr office..mama managed to bake a simple orange cake..Happy Birthday Ayah!!and we stayed in front of the tv..counting new year. watching fire crackers..without Kakak Shua...Mama beginning to feel it....

1st Jan 2008.trip to Johor was as early as 7am..Amboi..penuhnye gerabak kereta..Stopped by Mak Uda's house ( Musa's Sister) to fetch Mak to Sepang..Musa was very patient with Mak.(.Mak had to stay almost 2 months at Mak Teh's house after she accidentally fell in the toilet and had few ruptured her back bone)...Reached Sepang around 12 and after a short chitchat with Mak Tam we start to head to JB..Nice lunch at Pagoh before Jusco Tebrau as Kakak Moon need to buy few stationeries/workbook..entah ape-ape lagi..make ayah risau..Called Ch'Midah and thankfully we wouldn't have to check into any rumah tumpangan ..Ayah was tired of driving..zzzzz and mama busy catching up with ch'Midah.

2nd Jan - Kakak Moon register at Sekolah S*ni JB..It was drizzling and tata Kakak Moon.and my tears rolled down..again..this time heavier..ayah let me cool down..after two hours..ayah pun tegur.."Mama dah OK?"..JUst when I thought I could control..walla....banjir lak..hu..hu...Earlier Lala and Iyam had dozed off..and 4 of us went back to Rawang..

Now almost 3 weeks into 2008..When ayah off to work..I am left at home with Lala and Iyam..I do miss both of you Kakak Moon and Kakak Shua...my 2 big angels..If last year the 'loneliness' wasn't that bad..but this time around..only Allah knows how I miss talking to both of you, sharing the laughter, accompany each other watching the cerekarama etc,,,,sharing the house chores and assisting me with whatever kind of assistance any daughters would do to their mother.

This was how my late mum felt...

This is reality...when the time comes..if Allah permits..my little angels would start to crawl out from mama and ayah and your journey of life as a teenager begin.Later into adulthood.. Mama pray that both of you shall always be under the guidance of Allah and His precious tender loving care.

Salam Kaseh Sayang anak-anakku..Kenang Daku Dalam Doamu..