HEARTBREAK

You know that feeling. That once in a while feeling that “I’ve got this under control.” I’m on time, ticking off items on a checklist, there’s a bounce in my step, I have the right attitude, and everything’s where it’s supposed to be. Except when it’s not.

I lump all the times when life does not feel right under the category of ‘heartbreak.’ I’ve been here quite often, and the more years that go by, the more forms of it I recognize. It comes and goes, sometimes visiting for an unpleasantly long amount of time. When we face this, mothering, working, being a wife, and balancing it all with spirituality gets difficult, to say the least. One sinks into a gloom of mechanical tasks to get through, mostly lacking proper motivation or spirit.

The causes of this predicament, ‘heartbreak,’ can vary from the sting of decisions made that are too late, or life events that are out of our hands, a death or sickness of a loved one, a problem in one’s relationships or with one’s children, or a feeling of uncertainty about the future. When these heartbreaks happen we feel completely out of control. There is a shift in one’s paradigm regarding what was envisioned for the future. This, however, is a matter of perspective. We were never totally in control but allowed the feeling of relative comfort and predictability in our lives momentarily. This can be a dangerous place, because we know all too well that this is just a mirage.

For me, there have always been certain situations that have hovered over me, and everything I do. I often wonder if everyone has these challenges. Finding peace amid these situations is learned. They may never go away, but one learns to live with ghosts eventually, and how to be at peace with them.

Lately, I have been faced with sicknesses of some close friends. Particularly cancer. I feel like it was only yesterday that I said my goodbyes to a dear friend, and prayed at her janaza (funeral prayer) along side my children. Shortly thereafter, we prayed another janaza for a dear co-worker at my Islamic School. Now I come face to face with cancer in another friend. Our children played together this past summer, now here we are battling this disease together just a few weeks later.

How quickly and drastically this world can spin out of control. How easily we forget that through all of this, Allah is always there, next to us, that all of this heartbreak was meant to happen. We are supposed to learn to live with ghosts, even embrace them. They have to be there, born in our pasts and living alongside us in our present to show us that we can move on with them. To illustrate for us that we can face the unimaginable, time and time again. So that we can move on to the next challenge, even when it seems that life’s challenges won’t ever let up.

We need to prepare for the worst, but always, no matter what, expect and sincerely trust Allah and pray for the best. We need to play with our precious children, be loving spouses and dedicated workers. That’s where the hollowness and distance may threaten to set in our eyes. That’s ok and it will have to do for now. He is watching us, has prepared us well, and will not forsake us. Oh Allah, bless us and ease our burdens.

Mona Abdala

Mona is a mom of two young daughters who lives and works in NJ and is passionate about all things expressive. She is also a teacher, fine artist, and photographer.



P/S: MY HEARTBREAK ..ALLAH KNOWS ALL..FOR SURE...  DEAR LORD..LA HAWLAWALA QU WATA ILLAH BILLAHIL ALI'UL AZIM...

the first ten days of ZUlhijah/ Beramal pada 10 hari pertama Zulhijah

I just finished editing the Bulletin of my community and wd like to share this one article forwarded by one of the ustazss/writers. :


Persiapan beramal pada sepuluh hari pertama Zulhijjah
Kita telahpun masuk fasa pertama daripada sepuluh hari di bulan Zulhijjah, iaitu bulan kemuncak pelaksanaan ibadat haji yang menghimpunkan jutaan muslim dari seluruh pelusuk dunia di tanah suci Makkah dan Madinah, bulan Zulhijjah mempunyai keistimewaan tersendiri yang menjanjikan begitu banyak pahala agar ia mengatasi koleksi dosa yang dilakukan oleh manusia sepanjang setahun.

Sesungguhnya bagi muslim dan muslimah, terdapat banyak cara untuk mendapatkan pahala yang dijanjikan untuk diraih dengan sebaik-baiknya, ia terpulang kepada mereka sejauhmana kesungguhan untuk mendapatkannya. Justeru dalam perbincangan kali ini, beberapa persoalan mengenai sepuluh pertama Zulhijjah merangkumi pelbagai dimensi bagi meraih pahala yang diperkatakan.

Kelebihan sepuluh hari pertama Zulhijjah dan persoalan beramal padanya

Rasulullah s.a.w. bersabda maksudnya : “Tidak ada hari yang paling baik dilakukan amal padanya di sisi Allah daripada sepuluh hari pertama (Zulhijjah).” Para sahabat bertanya : Tidakkah berjihad pada jalan Allah lebih baik. Tegas baginda : “Walaupun berjihad pada jalan Allah, melainkan seseorang itu keluar dengan penuh ikhlas jiwa raganya dan hartanya yang tidak mengharapkan sesuatu melinkan (keredaan Allah).” Hadis riwayat Imam Ahmad, Bukhari, Abu Daud, at-Tirmizi dan Ibnu Majah daripada Ibnu Abbas r.a.
Hadis berkenaan menunjukkan kelebihan sepuluh hari pertama Zulhijjah jika dibandingkan dengan hari-hari lain yang terdapat sepanjang tahun, itulah hakikatnya kerana ia telah dinyatakan sendiri oleh Rasulullah s.a.w. agar umat Islam berusaha untuk melakukan amalan-amalan yang mengandungi pahala yang banyak.
Amalan-amalan yang bersifat ucapan/berzikir atau perbuatan pada hari-hari tersebut akan diganjari pahala yang banyak berlipat kali ganda, kerana ia adalah musim beribadat yang baik, iaitu musim mengajak manusia untuk mengabdikan diri kepada Allah SWT dengan mengambil peluang seluas-luasnya menambahkan ketaatan, membuktikan nikmat iman dan takwa kepada-Nya.

Tetapi apakah amalan yang dianjurkan untuk dibuat pada hari-hari tersebut?

Amal soleh itu adalah perbuatan yang mendatangkan kebaikan. Kerana sebenarnya setiap manusia itu adalah bersaudara. Adalah tugas kita untuk melakukan perbuatan-perbuatan yang dapat membuat saudara kita kehidupannya lebih baik, dunia dan akhirat.
Amal soleh merupakan apa sahaja amal orang Islam yang meliputi gerak hati (termasuk akal) pengucapan lisan dan perlakuan anggota tubuh badan (termasuk pancaindera) mengikut syariat islam. Amal itu dengan:

Niat yang ikhlas kerana Allah SWT..
Mengikut rukun, syarat dan cara yang betul.
Tidak dicampuri oleh perkara maksiat dan perkara-perkara yang membatalkannya atau merosakkannya.
Sesungguhnya mereka yang beramal dengan amal-amal soleh adalah golongan yang tidak rugi di dunia dan akhirat, kerana golongan ini telah disifatkan Allah dalam ayat-Nya yang terkandung dalam surah al-‘Asr maksudnya : “Demi Masa! Sesungguhnya manusia itu dalam kerugian - Kecuali orang-orang yang beriman dan beramal soleh, dan mereka pula berpesan-pesan dengan kebenaran serta berpesan-pesan dengan kesabaran.”

Sepuluh hari pertama Zulhijjah terdapat amalan yang baik antaranya :
1-      Memperbanyakkan solat-solat sunnat (apatah lagi memohon munajat kepada Allah agar menganugerahkan kejayaan kepada anak-anak dalam menghadapi peperiksaan SPM, juga buat anak-anak yang telah menduduki peperiksaan PMR, UPSR, PSRA, SMU/SMA dan lain-lain) juga bermohon agar dijadikan Allah sebagai hamba-hambaNya yang taat dan bertakwa kepada-Nya). Bagi yang mengerjakan haji hendaklah banyak berdoa agar dianugerahkan Allah dengan haji yang mabrur, supaya pulang ke tanah air menjadi hamba Allah yang paling bertakwa di sisi-Nya. Kerana haji yang mabrur tidak ada balasan melainkan syurga, malah haji mabrur juga adalah amalan yang terbaik selain beriman kepada Allah dan Rasul-Nya serta berjihad pada jalan Allah.

2-      Banyak bersedekah, membaca al-Quran, duduk dalam majlis-majlis fardu ‘ain, menyantuni kedua ibu bapa, menghubungkan silaturrahim, melakukan taubat Nasuha, suka menasihati orang lain, mengingatkan orang Islam perkara yang makruf dan mencegah mereka daripada melakukan yang mungkar.

3-      Banyak berzikir seperti membaca ‘Ma’thurat’, bertakbir, bertasbih dan lain-lain.

4-      Memperbanyak istighfar dan berselawat ke atas junjungan Nabi Muhammad s.a.w.

5-      Berpuasa sunnat khususnya pada hari wukuf walaupun tidak ada dalil khusus mengenainya, malah dianggap oleh sesetengah ulama’ sebagai puasa yang amat digalakkan untuk dilakukan. Puasa tersebut menurut satu riwayat ketika Nabi ditanya mengenainya, baginda menegaskan bahawa puasa pada hari wukuf di Arafah menghapuskan dosa setahun lalu dan setahun yang akan datang. Riwayat Imam Muslim dengan derajat hadis yang Sohih.

6-      Mengerja serta menyegerakan haji dan umrah.

7-      Melakukan ibadat korban dengan tidak meringan-ringankan hukumnya. Sesungguhnya iabadat korban adalah di antara amalan yang terbaik kerana ia merupakan amalan Nabi Ibrahim a.s. dan diteruskan oleh baginda Nabi Muhammad s.a.w. Justeru dalam satu riwayat menyabut, bahawa baginda s.a.w. ketika mentap di Madinah selama sepuluh tahun melakukannya sebanyak sepuluh kali, iaitu melakukannya pada tipa-tiap tahun. Maksud Hadis riwayat Imam Ahmad dan at-Tirmizi dengan sanad yang Hasan.

8-      Menampilkan akhlak yang terbaik, bersikap renda diri, berkomunikasi dengan positif sesama manusia lebih-lebih lagi di kalangan orang-orang yang beriman.

9-      Melaksanakan syiar-syiar agama Allah, bagi muslimat dengan memakai pakaian yang benar-benar menutup aurat dan sempurna termasuk memakai tudung kepala, kerana ia adalah perintah Allah SWT, begitulah juga menjalankan tugas ‘Amar Makruf Nahi Mungkar’ kerana ia adalah amalan yang dilakukan sendiri oleh baginda Rasulullah s.a.w. sepertimana yang difirmankan Alla menerusi ayat 30 surah al-Haj : “Itulah yang wajib dipatuhi; dan sesiapa yang menghormati syiar-syiar Allah maka yang demikian menjadi kebaikan baginya di sisi Tuhannya.”  Dan juga menerusi ayat 32 surah yang sama maksudnya : “Demikianlah (ajaran Allah); dan sesiapa yang menghormati syiar-syiar agama Allah maka (dialah orang yang bertaqwa) kerana sesungguhnya perbuatan itu satu kesan dari sifat-sifat taqwa hati orang mukmin.”
Menurut setengah pandangan ulama’, syiar-syiar agama Allah itu memberi maksud menyatakan zahir agama dalam bentuk pelaksanaan, dan Allah menjadikan kemuliaan dan penghormatan kepada syiar-syiar itu sebagai rukun takwa dan syarat menerima sesuatu amal ibadat dengan memelihara dan menghormati peraturan-peraturan yang terkandung dalam al-Quran, menghormati ulama’ menghormati dan menjaga Baitullah serta memelihara solat-solart fardu.

10- Bercakap dengan ungkapan yang berisi nasihat atau bimbingan serta beramal        soleh  merupakan pra syarat terkabul amalan di sisi Allah seperti yang ditegaskan-Nya menerusi ayat 10 surah Fatir : ‘Kepada-nya (Allah) sampai perkataan-perkataan yang baik (kalimat Tauhid) dan amal soleh disampaikan kepada-Nya.”

11-Istiqamah dalam agama dengan terus beramal dan melakukan perintah serta        meninggalkan perkara yang terlarang adalah punca amalan diterima.

12- Konsisten dalam beramal secara berterusan walaupun sedikit, ia bertepatan dengan penjelasan baginda

Rasulullah s.a.w dalam sebuah hadis yang bermaksud :
Sebaik-baik amalan di sisi Allah ialah yang bersifat berterusan walaupun sedikit.
Andalah sebagai hakim untuk memastikan masa depan di akhirat lebih terjamin untuk mendapatkan syafaat baginda Rasulullah s.a.w ketika ada di kalangan manusia yang tercicir namanya dalam senarai mereka yang dimasukkan dalam syurga Allah yang kekal abadi dengan segala nikmat yang membahagiakan.

Sudirman-Teriring Doa.wmv

berita dari rantau - alleycats

Allah's visitor?

last weekend, saw me visiting few friends who'r going for haj this year..

A tremendously joy feeling...with just one wish... for Him to grant me the chance to be there in mecca with my dear hubby...keep praying..

Saw this Dr Har blog:http://drhar.blogspot.com/2012/09/nostalgia-sanggar-spiritual-drhar-hajj.html.

Hope it cd give me some in depth.. such an inspirational one... I am secretly wishing and praying....

Home school?

Had ever heard of : No child cries for no reason?

Should I or should me and my little mikhael?...

I am in doubt actually whether we wd sail through...  I ponder.... again

Oh..btw..amazingly i am writing again?..and fb'ing again?.... I miss posting actually... but had been away with things..though at the back of my mind, few things need to be written down...cant find the time?...

Entering October 2012.. but this one blog, i just love to share.. http://oldmuslimwomanintheshoe.blogspot.com
Just for a thought..Have a nice day every one....productive week ahead.

Ameena's Ramadhan Diary - Lets start this rejab..for a more meaningful ramadhan.

I am thanking my old friend whom I first met when doing my degree in UK. She was In Bradford then, but we had several meetings during the MISG-ABIM gathering back then..  Last 2 years, I accidently met her and she gave me this book.

yesterday, I stumbled upon this book again. I rarely had the time to read nowdays..not that I am busy as an office accountant etc..  but just busy attending to my kids'..nooo..  perhaps busy worrying..  ha..ha...not good huh!..  well, just thinking for some plannings for this coming ramadhan..

(It is Rejab already..and my work on the AL kausar Musollah's bulletin is still way to go.. Oh Allah, pls give me guidance to finish it by this weekend....and we are travelling to East..  my eldest is going to pursue her studies there... and you bet, she's doing Accounting!!..)

And pls, dear readers, if u have the time and if you must, pls get a hold of this book : 

Summary: Junior Marketing Executive Ameena is determined to make this upcoming Ramadan a real success - easier said than done with demanding job and siblings that regularly test her patience. But good advice from a sheikh, support from her friends and a strong plan, she's certainly on the right track to getting what she wants out of the Holy month. Ameena's ramadan Diary starts in late Rajab as Ameena begins her preparation for Ramadan. Every day before, during and after Ramadan, Ameena writes her diary entries taking you through everything from family related matters to do's and don'ts of worship. Packed full of practical hints and tips and inspiring quotes from the Qur'an and hadith, Ameena's Ramadan Diary is the perfect companion for anybody who is looking to make the most out of Ramadan

Lets start this Rejab... see you!!

Teaching Islam to our Children - Nouman Ali Khan - 2012

Ramadhan 2012 : is just around the corner...

Entering Rejab, in a few days' time... I am shivering inside...for the things that had happened last year.. Ya rabb, make it easier this time....pls!! ya rabb, sampaikanlah kami ke ramadhan... Owh ho.. I had missed many events.... from last march 2012... not sure whether time is not such a constraint..or i am just plain 'lazy'....

Ramadhan : 2011 & Food venture.

I had wanted to write on the above, few months ago... but i guess..the fatigue got over me.. but before long, this posting is sincerely me. I am not perfect nor trying to present the better of me.. basically for my kids to note that, if and if, we ought to, food business is easy...with proper planning, excellent time management, available resource..we cd do it!!

Last ramadhan saw me and kids, first time, engaged in a heavy food production business..
Do we have enough : resources? labour? capital? marketable place? business etiquete? customer handling? cashier?.. bla..bla...

I must admit, its going to be hectic..but we dont really have much choice, then!!!

I vividly remembered how i had helped my mum at her stall... pheww..that was yearsss ago... by hook or by crook..something have to be done.. we need cash!!! so we decided to sell kueh berbuka posa...   say what?

First: get some capital..tq to my big brother..eem..kemudian bayor le bang!..and My other brother for taking orders of kue raya..same to my sister, ieja too... (Again.. I wish I cd hug my mum...and my dad..Alfatihah...)
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Apa yang nak dijual?

1..main dish for the day - choose one :either lontong, laksa, mee kari, roti jala
2. side dish - either mee goreng, bihun goreng, kue teow goreng, nasi goreng, makaroni goreng
3. sambal tumis to accompany with side dish
4. agar2 gula melaka/ agar2 plangi
5. egg caramel/ cream puff
6. kue sagu/ lepat pisang/apam ayu/cekodok pisang
7. buah melaka/kue cara manis/kue ketayap
8. kue cara berlauk/cucur badak
9. karipap
10. donat/keria
11. sandwich sardin goreng/puff sardin gulung/donat pedas (burger malaysia)
12.popiah goreng/tahu sumbat/cucur udang
13.kue bom/seri muka/kueh kasturi/kue koleh kacang
14. Sandwich sardin/sandwich telor

Amboi...tingginya cita2...boleh buat dak?  wanna know how on earth cd I think of those list..my late mum used to do that.. the difference is, she cook better than me.. until now, saya tak pandai buat koleh kacang, kuh lapis, kue seri muka, kue bakar....oh my...
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Imagine, there'd be about 14 dishes to be ready by 430 every day before breaking fast..Ramadhan time......euuww...sapa nak tolong...?? in between, my little man wd certainly crave for attention.. Allah has helped us went through those moments.. We did..My day wd start as early as 5 am..prepared sahur, woke up my family members...did some ritualss...kids off to school..I did laundry, hanged clothes..prepare all sorts of jelly (agar/caramel  etc as they needed to be  refrigerated!!), prepare fillings:- for karipap, popiah, cucur badak & kue ketayap.... while waiting for those to cool down..I woke up M5.kasi dia mandi, kasi dia sus and.off we went to groceries shop to buy some other ingrredients.. oopss..sebelum pi kedai... uli kulit karipap, uli kulit cucur badak/keria, prepare tepung untuk: cucur pisang, kue cara, all put aside..
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Once balik kedai....kerja2 membuat kueh& main dish ermula...1000 am until 400. M2 shall helped me with angkat jemuran when she came back from school..m3&m4 wd iron their own clothes, m2 also helped me with tahu sumbat and sandwishes. While m5, wd entertaine himself with whatever toys, tv shows..or main tepung sekali ngan mama..
By 430, all kues must be readied..masuk dlm car boot. oopss..jgn lupa plastik kue, alas meja, payung, air basuh tangan, bekas duit shiling, buat susu utk m5. Solat asar..and drove ke tempat jualan/bazar ramadahn..

The challenges were actually in preparing the kues..to meet the time, i.e 430, to buka meja dan buka payung...and also..melayan kerenah pelanggan...pheww.. but we made it... At least by the end of the day, we have food on the table untuk buka puasa!!!..extra cash to buy m5 susu and pampers.. I had to do it for the sake of my kids..Hubby's office cash flow was terrible!!
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We had made it..some pictures:-

me and m2, religiously stood by me...

part of agar2 pelangi

agar2 bandung

Kue cara manis

left over : karipap, sandwich gulung goreng, cream puff

tahu sumbat

 A week before Aidil fitri, I had stopped the bazar ramadhan affair and started with biskut raya and kek lapis...  pulak..took orders...mula2 suke..sebab ade banyak demand...after few days...  macam nak menangis tak berlagu.. I cried to myself!

clockwise: biskut badam, mama cerries, cornflakes madu, kueh tat, biskut sapi, biskut makmur

kek lapis batik sarawak

my speciality : roll ketupat

my other speciality too: traditional tat

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Alhamdulillah... sememangnya penat..tapi berbaloi2..

And I shed 5 kilos....   Perasan slim dah!

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And lately, my kids keep asking: " Mama, lama dah mama tak masak2 buat kueh dan kek segala..."

And I smiled.....  entah phobia..entah ape...  rase mcm nak rehaaaaaattttt panjang....

If all these fit the theory of Economics, i.e Law of Diminishing utility...  than I have fallen into this category..

 ( one wd stop doing her norm, if one get bored.. for eg...hari2 makan telo goreng...masuk seminggu..emm..dah tak tertelan....lebih kurang cam tu lah!)

But if and if, situation permits again..or rather, i have  no other choice.then..I'll be back... Some neighbours already asking:" Eh maz, tak berniaga lagi?"...  

I just smile sheepishly...

taken last day of my bazar ramadhan affair... atas riba is M5..orang posa..dia sibuk nak makan...p/s: I think i look extremely exhausted..

On another note; saya cuba menyelami perassan arwah emak....  penat je berjualan di gerai... and I still remember mak advising me: Ta, tak payahlah nak berniaga gerai cam mak..penat!.....study smart..and get a job...  But I ended up as I am today....

Adios amigos.. After 2nd raya..Saya jatuh demam..dan habihkan masa, qada' tido...  mujurlah anak2 faham... I love you all my darlings!!

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message to my kids; life sometimes isn't easy...  life is a test..we must survive.. ade berani?

p/s: I had learnt cooking from my late mum..  wd my kids be able to grasp the skills?...

Those were the days..when I really cook...  and I think age factor shall slower me down...

I had lost the energy.. I remain.